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Old 06-19-2007, 11:56 AM
Location: VA
786 posts, read 4,227,438 times
Reputation: 1071


I disagree with most of the replies. When I go to class reunions the kids that were insiders and very self confident are doing better now as Adults. The kids who were social outcasts were doing better when IT was big but now the IT people are mostly from foreign countries.

Confidence as a kid= confidence as an adult.
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Old 06-19-2007, 01:41 PM
Location: Vancouver, Canada
550 posts, read 2,541,006 times
Reputation: 524
So can you answer the main question please? Does he want to change? Is his appearance making him not like himself or is this just your personal worry?
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Old 10-07-2007, 10:02 PM
Location: California
166 posts, read 427,362 times
Reputation: 164
I am really shocked by some of the replies to this! Just because this young person is a nerd doesn't mean there is something wrong with them. Some of you make it sound like that is a bad thing. Bill Gates was a nerd. He seems to be doing fine. Most of us prefer geek to nerd.

I think what is more of a concern is whether or not this child is being bullied. That should be the immediate concern. Befriend this child and get them talking so you can find out what they feel about the situation. Are they depressed or angry or scared? Or do they just really enjoy learning and because of their intellect they don't want to engage in the ridiculousness of high school.

The most important thing is for this child to feel that they have YOU to come to and that they can trust you.

Good luck,

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Old 10-07-2007, 10:52 PM
Location: CA
2,464 posts, read 5,686,058 times
Reputation: 2587
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
I think one of the most difficult things for a parent is seeing that their son or daughter does not fit in. I have a relative who is a 13 year old who is a real nice boy but he is a serious nerd. I was told he has no friends at school and the other kids like to pick on him or just ignore him. He is out of touch with the other kids at school and does not fit in.

What can be done about children who are nerds?
I can imagine how hard it must be for this kid. Has anyone asked him what he wants? He might be able to provide an answer.

Is he unusually smart? Can he be moved to a different school (maybe private)? Although, he may not fit in anywhere he is... Can he participate in sports or an extracurricular activity to help his social skills? Does he look like a nerd? Can you take him on a shopping trip with a "cool" relative who can pick out his clothes (if he'll let you)? I heard karate class is a good self-esteem booster... just throwing ideas out...

I don't know if I would advocate that he try to fit in. I might advocate that he find a kindred spirit... a fellow "nerd" because he is who he is, no? I would probably put him in something that he liked, that involved other kids with the same interest.

Just my two cents....
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Old 10-08-2007, 08:23 AM
Location: South Central PA
1,562 posts, read 3,831,623 times
Reputation: 356
Depends on if he's a nerd or a geek. To me a nerd is someone who is smart, works to the bone to make sure he gets the good grades to the point of being socially awkward because most of the time is spent on school. Geek however can be nerdy, but not neccesary, and also like computer oriented tasks. I'm a self proffessed geek, I have friends but I only go out and actually do things every once in a while.

However, I think people forget that anyone that is into online gaming also fosters online friends, which is as real as any "real life" friend is.
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Old 10-08-2007, 10:39 PM
2,141 posts, read 7,036,503 times
Reputation: 1245
Originally Posted by LML View Post
You could be describing what my son was like at 13. Today he is an extremely well to do owner of a very successful computer program design business. Sort of sad to see of the the "cool guys" from his class still working for miniumum wages at 40.
Yep. Bill Gates was a nerd too and now he makes $4,000 an hour - literally in interest on his money. Grammar school and middle school are the most difficult years for kids like this. Due to a larger student population, most kids can find kids like themselves in high school to be friends with. And then in college, there's always someone like us. He'll be fine. If he's being bullied or harrassed, that needs to be remedied. But if he is a happy loner, I wouldn't worry about it.
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