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Old 06-13-2007, 01:34 PM
 
Location: VA
786 posts, read 4,229,886 times
Reputation: 1071

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I think one of the most difficult things for a parent is seeing that their son or daughter does not fit in. I have a relative who is a 13 year old who is a real nice boy but he is a serious nerd. I was told he has no friends at school and the other kids like to pick on him or just ignore him. He is out of touch with the other kids at school and does not fit in.

What can be done about children who are nerds?
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Old 06-13-2007, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, Canada
550 posts, read 2,542,339 times
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Be nice to them, they will probably be successful in life!

In all seriousness, that is a good question. I know how brutal kids can be especially in Middle School. All I can suggest is having him dress with the "in" clothes. After typing that I looked at it and it sounds totally wrong!

He is who he is in the same way that my son is a jock. He gets picked on by the goths sometimes for being one. They like to physically push him or verbally abuse him hoping he will blow up and hit one of them. Then he would be off the football team and suspended for fighting. Pure evil!

Does your relative want to change? Has he been talking to his parents about how he can fit in more? If so I can ask my 15 year old what he thinks would change the image of a nerd at school.
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Old 06-13-2007, 02:17 PM
 
Location: ARK-KIN-SAW
3,434 posts, read 8,798,787 times
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First he will prob make a lot of money and second, he cant be helped if he dont want to be helped or doesnt feel there is a prob. If he wants help, Id suggest maybe a personal trainer, some weights, maybe to boost self esteem, if thats the case. I may be so far off base its not funny, but just my 2 cents
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Old 06-13-2007, 02:24 PM
 
6,585 posts, read 22,393,381 times
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Does he have Asperger's Syndrome? Has social skills training been provided?
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Old 06-13-2007, 03:54 PM
LML
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,109 posts, read 7,922,378 times
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You could be describing what my son was like at 13. Today he is an extremely well to do owner of a very successful computer program design business. Sort of sad to see of the the "cool guys" from his class still working for miniumum wages at 40.
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Old 06-13-2007, 04:02 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
1,078 posts, read 3,439,545 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FarNorthDallas View Post
Does he have Asperger's Syndrome? Has social skills training been provided?
Something to consider. Many Aspies are very successful adults. But since have problems with socialization it needs to be addressed.


MBG
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Old 06-13-2007, 04:44 PM
 
Location: The mountians of Northern California.
1,354 posts, read 5,630,042 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by midnightbirdgirl View Post
Something to consider. Many Aspies are very successful adults. But since have problems with socialization it needs to be addressed.


MBG
I was thinking the same thing. Many Aspies are considered 'nerds' and have alot of social problems, fitting in, etc. Its easy to overlook asperger's syndrome at doctors visits. Most kids with aspies hit their milestones, are above average intelligence, etc. But they just are not able to socially adapt to the 'norm'.
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Old 06-13-2007, 04:55 PM
 
Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 10,844,526 times
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Well assuming his parents are aware of the problem they can try to help him fit in better by initiating social contacts outside of school. My son was very shy when he started school and I would arrange play dates so he could get to know some of the kids one on one. Now he has lots of friends and is more comfortable with them. Being in middle school is tougher and the kids start mean there, so if your nephew is not fitting in I think it's best to talk to him about what he can do to fit in better. I don't mean to say he should become a carbon copy of the other kids but if he's physically sticking out then it's doubtful that anyone will take the time to get to know him. Possibly there are some clubs or activities that he could try to get to know some kids? I hope it works out, it's tough to be different. But like others have said he will probably be very sucessful as an adult.
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Old 06-13-2007, 05:11 PM
 
432 posts, read 1,691,237 times
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Nerdiness is who he is. Leave it alone.

He needs to learn to stand up for himself, and develop a peer group. If that is not at school, you need to find some extra curricular activity where he can make friends.

My kid got jumped a lot - one day some guy jumped him and he told the guy to "back off and don't be stupid". The thug said "Why don't you shove your brains up your ass?" He said "Because they wouldn't fit".

The other kid backed off.

Not guaranteed, but nerds who stand their ground get respect.
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Old 06-13-2007, 05:17 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
1,078 posts, read 3,439,545 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inthesierras View Post
I was thinking the same thing. Many Aspies are considered 'nerds' and have alot of social problems, fitting in, etc. Its easy to overlook asperger's syndrome at doctors visits. Most kids with aspies hit their milestones, are above average intelligence, etc. But they just are not able to socially adapt to the 'norm'.
I know my son is HFA/ AS
MBG
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