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My husband and I planned on having 5 kids. He had wanted 3, I wanted 8, so we compromised and agreed on 5. We had our first son July 2007 and a daughter Feb. 2009. She was an emergency C-section. While still in the recovery room, a feeling came over me that our family was complete. I discussed my feelings with my husband and while he agreed that he felt the same way, he was worried that my feelings were influenced by post-pregnancy hormones. He convinced me to wait until our daughter turned 1, and then if I still felt the same way, he'd get a vasectomy. Well, she turned 1 in Feb, and I'm currently expecting a 2nd daughter in June. So we're not stopping with 2, we're stopping with 3. Now that we're having 3, we've thought of a few reasons why we should have stopped at 2. A previous poster has mentioned several good reasons. Here's 2 more that I feel are important.
-We have discovered that 3 carseats don't fit very well across the back seat of a car. (You have to cram your hand in between 2 carseats to fasten the shoulder belt for our oldest child) So we are shopping for a vehicle with 3rd row seating.
-If you don't have 3 boys or 3 girls, one child will feel a little left out. Our daughters will be a little more than a year apart, which means they will probably develop a very close bond. Our son has no brother to share this bond with.
We already love this baby that we're having, and now that I'm expecting her, I'm glad we're having her. But if I knew the things I know now before she was conceived, we'd probably not be having a 3rd. Who knows, maybe somewhere down the line we can adopt a boy close to our son's age. That would at least solve one problem.
I too used to think having twins would be cool but after I had my first I was so happy it was a singleton. A baby is a lot of work. I can't imagine having 2 at once.
Amen. And big props to the moms of twins... I know it's gotta be a wild ride, especially in the beginning!
Whatever is the best for your family.
Most people around my age (in my 40s) came from a family of 2 or 3 kids. It was rare to meet kids from a family of more than 4.
Now either people seem to have one or feel like they have to have 2 (for siblings) or they have many more.
I think this is a personal decision between the parents and doesn't need to be a poll. What's right for one family might not be right for another. There is no ideal number.
I think two is good, I mean if you are telling someone who has no kids. I used to want 5. Now I have three, and our house is just soooo crazy. But they are still young. I do want one more, but I don't know if I want to go through the ordeal of trying to lose baby weight a fourth time. Also, we currently have 2 boys and one girl. I'm afraid of the amount of destruction and food consumption that THREE boys may cause, lol.
My husband and I planned on having 5 kids. He had wanted 3, I wanted 8, so we compromised and agreed on 5. We had our first son July 2007 and a daughter Feb. 2009. She was an emergency C-section. While still in the recovery room, a feeling came over me that our family was complete. I discussed my feelings with my husband and while he agreed that he felt the same way, he was worried that my feelings were influenced by post-pregnancy hormones. He convinced me to wait until our daughter turned 1, and then if I still felt the same way, he'd get a vasectomy. Well, she turned 1 in Feb, and I'm currently expecting a 2nd daughter in June. So we're not stopping with 2, we're stopping with 3. Now that we're having 3, we've thought of a few reasons why we should have stopped at 2. A previous poster has mentioned several good reasons. Here's 2 more that I feel are important.
-We have discovered that 3 carseats don't fit very well across the back seat of a car. (You have to cram your hand in between 2 carseats to fasten the shoulder belt for our oldest child) So we are shopping for a vehicle with 3rd row seating.
-If you don't have 3 boys or 3 girls, one child will feel a little left out. Our daughters will be a little more than a year apart, which means they will probably develop a very close bond. Our son has no brother to share this bond with.
We already love this baby that we're having, and now that I'm expecting her, I'm glad we're having her. But if I knew the things I know now before she was conceived, we'd probably not be having a 3rd. Who knows, maybe somewhere down the line we can adopt a boy close to our son's age. That would at least solve one problem.
I have five children. From experience, I can tell you that going from two to three children, is the hardest.BUT, it gets much easier!!! Sounds crazy I know, but going from three to four was easier, and going from four to five was a piece of cake It's hardest right now because everyone is little-but if you have more kids, you'll have some olders to give you a hand. Right now, everyone needs you all the time. Trust me, it goes by quickly, and then all of a sudden everyone is running out the door for the school bus!
I hear you about the carseats. It seems the world is designed for the stereotypical 'mom dad two kids' family. Certain brands of carseats are narrower and fit better. However, we did buy a minivan after #3. There is also the options of mid-size SUV's with third row seats that get decent mileage.
If the desire of you and dh's heart is more children, please, give yourself some time. This next year or so of your life will be crazy busy! But it does get easier. You might look around in a year or two and go, we did it, and we can do it I would not trade it for anything.
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I would not trade it for anything.
