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Old 11-01-2012, 09:12 AM
 
Location: The State Line
2,625 posts, read 4,031,487 times
Reputation: 3064

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Ever hear people say this? I've thought about this and it doesn't make sense. It might seem reasonable, but it's actually flawed reasoning: It implies you need to be at a certain financial level to have them, which clearly isn't the case. You have people making well over six figures that "can't afford children," yet people with less than half their salary that somehow make it work--and aren't at or poverty level, for that matter. And while you may argue the cost of living, this happens even in the most expensive parts of the country.

You may argue each kid cost X to put on your insurance, while childcare cost Y, and "expenses" total to Z, rationalizing the need to save. While that's noble, the reality is, if you want kids and think you can't afford it now, you're never really going to. How much can you factor is "necessary" when there's no set number, when inflation implies you'll have to keep saving, because it still won't be "enough" after next year? While there is certainly some planning needed in having children, it's easy to take the planning overboard. It becomes a never-ending pursuit of perfection, that you may never reach. And even if you come close, life happens. All that money you saved could end up being used to recover from an unexpected emergency/accident. You could have had a great job yesterday, only to lose it today/have your hours reduced, and find out tomorrow your wife is pregnant (with twins even). How often do things turn out as planned, especially with parenthood?

I'm convinced the people who say this really mean, they won't be able to maintain their current lifestyle, which they love; and/or won't be able to have the lifestyle they want or find most ideal, after having them. I'm convinced if one truly wants something bad enough, they'll make it work for them, and perhaps in the process all those "necessities" really aren't necessary after all.

I'm not suggesting everyone has to have kids, as that is a personal preference. But can't some people just admit they just don't want kids (now or ever); recognize their lives will change and aren't willing to prepare for it (now or ever); won't be as well off as they'd like; or may struggle somewhat, instead of using the excuse they "can't afford them"? Are people ashamed they'll seem selfish for admitting any of this? I certainly see nothing wrong with admitting any of that. For the record, I'd rather people admit they don't want children than to have them simply out of obligation.
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Old 11-01-2012, 09:22 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,157,398 times
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Because some people take their responsibility to their children seriously and even have a desire to be self sufficient. Duh.
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Old 11-01-2012, 09:27 AM
 
7,743 posts, read 15,838,159 times
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Well, they would be correct... they can't "afford" children because it comes at a cost they're not willing to pay. It says more about the person who says the affordability issue is an excuse; seriously what does it matter to you what someone else's choices are?
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Old 11-01-2012, 10:54 AM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,088,332 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LexWest View Post

I'm convinced the people who say this really mean, they won't be able to maintain their current lifestyle, which they love; and/or won't be able to have the lifestyle they want or find most ideal, after having them.
I'm convinced you don't know anyone who is poor and living on the edge.
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Old 11-01-2012, 11:21 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 14,251,774 times
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If you live in a large high cost of living city like Los Angeles and rent, then having kids can be impossible, even if you have a pretty good income.

That is because the landlords will limit the number of people who can live in a 1 bedroom apartment. So having a kid may mean also moving to a MUCH more expensive 2 bedroom apartment.

And two people working means you MUST pretty much have 2 cars. Car insurance is also a small fortune in a large city, and even worse for young people.

Anyway that is the "deal breaker" - Housing.

In other parts of the country and rural areas, no problem. So consider where these people are living!
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Old 11-01-2012, 01:50 PM
 
13,513 posts, read 19,235,612 times
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LexWest...when someone says they "can't afford" children it just means to me that they don't really want them...
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Old 11-01-2012, 01:51 PM
 
13,513 posts, read 19,235,612 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
I'm convinced you don't know anyone who is poor and living on the edge.
I thought everyone who was raising children was "poor and living on the edge".
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Old 11-01-2012, 01:54 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,157,398 times
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Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
I thought everyone who was raising children was "poor and living on the edge".
I thank my stars every day for now being gainfully employed. We are no longer poor and living on the edge. Though to be fair, we ate every day, had dry housing. We were never ever really poor.
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Old 11-01-2012, 02:13 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,420 posts, read 47,402,095 times
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Children cost far more than money... they cost a huge amount of time.
Many people nowadays aren't willing to make the commitment of time and decide to be childless.


But I feel there is no better return on your investment!
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Old 11-01-2012, 02:23 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,157,398 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
LexWest...when someone says they "can't afford" children it just means to me that they don't really want them...
Anyone who knows anyone who DOESN'T want children might have some sympathy to why they might feel the need to justify it.
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