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Old 02-06-2018, 09:47 PM
3 posts, read 443 times
Reputation: 10


Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Call me mean, but any property in my house is mine. That means, if I find weed in your room, it is mine. You are looking at porn on the laptop your Dad gave you in your room, in my house? That computer is mine too. Thanks, I wanted a new laptop.

Guess what? Due to my "Draconian" parenting skills, I have four adult children, who do not live with me. I call that successful parenting.

Mabye your kids don't live with you because they can't tolerate you.
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Old 02-06-2018, 09:52 PM
3 posts, read 443 times
Reputation: 10
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Your friend needs to set up an appointment with her local CPS office and have a discussion with them, in order to find out what she can and should do. They will likely be most happy to give her all of the advice she needs. It is most likely that they will inform her that she is only required to provide that boy with food, a place to sleep, plumbing, clothing and an education. They will likely also inform her that she needs to be reporting any property damage, emotional and physical abuse to the proper authorities.

If his father has issues with keeping the gifts he purchased for his son at his house, perhaps he'll open the doors for him and take his turn at raising an out of control teenage son. Absentee parents have all the answers until they get the "problem" dropped into their lap. It's easy to blame the parent the child is living with until you take over the parenting and realize that it's actually the CHILD who is the problem.

I had an out of control teen. CPS informed me that the only thing I had to provide him was food, clothing, shelter and toileting/showering access, AND ensure he made it to school. They said that anything I had purchased for him, I had the right to take back. Anything he was using....like a stereo, television, radio, computer....was not required by law and could be prohibited. I had the right to prohibit ANYTHING in my house that was not on that small list above. If he had music that we didn't approve of, we had the right to lock it away until he turned 18 AND prohibit him from listening to it in our house. Kids don't have as many "rights" as people think they do.

In response to a personal comment...at least in our state, if THEY bought it..if THEY own it, you still have the right, in your home, to prohibit it. If that means locking it in a safe until they are 18, you have the right to do so. If it is illegal, you have the right to contact the police and report them. Some kids can get pretty out of hand. I have a dear friend, who has tried everything with her teenage daughter. The 14 yr old is now on her 5th stay in Juvenile detention...24 days this time. Some kids do not learn.
Its disgusting of you to think that children are problems if you are a parent you shouldn't be
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Old 02-08-2018, 11:12 PM
Location: Beautiful Alamitos Heights, Long Beach, CA
798 posts, read 455,385 times
Reputation: 1612
In the old days, parents would rip the item out of your hands and either throw it away, hide it or destroy it until you changed your behavior.
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Old 02-09-2018, 05:01 PM
5,552 posts, read 2,163,804 times
Reputation: 15807
If her goal is to make him more cooperative and better behaved, throwing away all the stuff he cares about is going to have the opposite affect.

He's 16. His behavior is a bit off the rails. Likely due to a messy divorce and difficult home dynamics, but maybe not. Maybe it was genetic.

Seeking revenge by going in and throwing away all his stuff is as juvenile, in my opinion, as a lover who throws their partner's clothes out on the front yard.
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