Can a parent take a child's property away? (divorced, son, 14 yr old)
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The boy has nothing to say about what's in his mother's house and when he gets his own house, pays his own rent or mortgage, then he has rights. No adult has to put up with anyone telling him or her what can be in the adult's house.
The father has no right whatsoever telling his ex-wife what she can or cannot have in her own house. The real problem in this case is the father trying to get at his ex-wife and wield control over her using the child.
Actually there are laws that state items, money, investments given to a child are that childs property. The mother of the 16 year old can revoke use of said property but cannot legally get rid of property. In the case the property given to the child by his father is disposed of, the father legally can take the mother to court and sue her for destruction of the property.
I would recommend you try to persuade your friend and her kids go to counseling, not because they are crazy, but because no on has experience dealing with a divorce and its after affect. This son of hers is rebelling because of the divorce, may have seen his parents fighting, and still sees his parents fighting. it is not healthy for anyone. therapy will only give you the tools you need to understand and how to approach and speak. Life is about persuasion and comfort.
I would also suggest of her to make it a team thing to clean up the room together, and maybe get some containers to store items more easily. video games, computer games, just change the passwords, and create times in the living room or den/kitchen. They should have a big hug, and find out what is going on with little man. HE will be an adult soon, and needs to snap out of it now.
As for them , as a divorced pair, they need to be on the same page, and be mature about it. NO MORE FIGHTING! do not involve the kids, it is too cruel. Adult problems are not children problems. Children do not need witness this sort of emotional quackery.
My friend bought a laptop with his own money but his mom takes it away sometimes for little or no reason. If it was anybody else taking the laptop that would be stealing, so isn't it the same with a parent? I get that there is a difference between stranger and parent, but I still say that the parent is stealing property from the child. As long as the child payed for the item, it is theirs. The UTMA protects it (given from someone else) but if the child lays for it, it's not protected. If anyone has any acts or laws that they could tell me about to protect children's stolen property, please let me know.
I would recommend you try to persuade your friend and her kids go to counseling, not because they are crazy, but because no on has experience dealing with a divorce and its after affect. This son of hers is rebelling because of the divorce, may have seen his parents fighting, and still sees his parents fighting. it is not healthy for anyone. therapy will only give you the tools you need to understand and how to approach and speak. Life is about persuasion and comfort.
I would also suggest of her to make it a team thing to clean up the room together, and maybe get some containers to store items more easily. video games, computer games, just change the passwords, and create times in the living room or den/kitchen. They should have a big hug, and find out what is going on with little man. HE will be an adult soon, and needs to snap out of it now.
As for them , as a divorced pair, they need to be on the same page, and be mature about it. NO MORE FIGHTING! do not involve the kids, it is too cruel. Adult problems are not children problems. Children do not need witness this sort of emotional quackery.
The OP is from 2010, 7 years ago now. The kid is 23. Presumably they've resolved these problems somehow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackBeltJaedon
My friend bought a laptop with his own money but his mom takes it away sometimes for little or no reason. If it was anybody else taking the laptop that would be stealing, so isn't it the same with a parent? I get that there is a difference between stranger and parent, but I still say that the parent is stealing property from the child. As long as the child payed for the item, it is theirs. The UTMA protects it (given from someone else) but if the child lays for it, it's not protected. If anyone has any acts or laws that they could tell me about to protect children's stolen property, please let me know.
I sense a troll here, but taking something away from use for a while probably doesn't meet the definition of stealing, particularly when it's a parent "taking away" from their own kid.
The boy has nothing to say about what's in his mother's house and when he gets his own house, pays his own rent or mortgage, then he has rights. No adult has to put up with anyone telling him or her what can be in the adult's house.
This is THE backbone of my parents' child rearing philosophy. When you are the one paying the bills and the place is in your name alone, THEN you get to make the rules. But, until then, you do as the ADULTS in THIS house tell you to do. No "buts" about it.
My parents take things from my bedroom. They go through my wallet and take money. They go through my change cup and took all of my change (about 10 dollars worth). They take my pillows if they are on the floor. They Move stuff around on my desk. They take my clothes. They rearrange stuff when it is in places that I like them. They took my wallet (give to me by my dead grandfather. They sold my French Horn Case. They take my house keys. They take my sheets. They take my shoes. They take my Earbuds. They take my lunchboxes. That is just a few things they have taken. My mom asked if she could borrow my amazon echo. That was 3 months ago. Is there any legal action I can take in order to get my stuff back? Can I get a lawyer? Can I take them to court? Help
Let's be realistic here... if little Johnny's PlayStation is taken away, is he going to get an attorney to sue? How many lawyers would even take that case?
Take everything of importance to him and then give it back for good behavior. Take it away again as necessary.
If it's something the kid bought and paid for with money he earned, then no, I probably wouldn't take it.
If we're talking about items given to him by myself or my husband, then I have no problems taking them away. If he has an issue, he can hire a lawyer or live elsewhere.
Perhaps he's acting out for a reason. I am personally a teenager as well you must understand that he is a person with feelings and his mind is still developing. Adolescents can get frustrated with adults because they don't listen or understand what they are going through we don't wish to hurt anyone or cause any harm to property but when frustrated we don't know how to handle ourselves as we feel very conflicted. It's important to understand that taking away a child's property doesn't help you or them in any way it can be quite counter productive especially if it is something they treasure. Adolescents teenagers especially have really messed up hormones that cause them to be moody at the best of times. When you take away something precious it can really hurt us for example when my phone or laptop are taken away I am unable to contact family members and friends I don't see often and are my main supports also at school now we are beginning to get what teachers call twenty first century classrooms which require us to use electronics and the internet for most of our work including that which we need to complete at home. I suffer from anxiety disorders that disrupt my everyday functions and make it really difficult for me to do certain things like go to school or even leave the house for any reason I can't even talk to someone on the phone I am only comfortable using text I also suffer from depression and have suicidal tendancys I need my cellular device to help keep me safe from myself I contact friends and family who can calm me down or there's suicide hotlines and support groups online I also have to keep in touch with my counsellor and children's aid society. When these things that are literally necessary for my survival are taken from me it can be life threatening. With other teens it's very much the same a lot goes on without your knowledge parents are quite oblivious to a lot that goes on in their children's lives whether they like it or not. I tend to act out more when my things are taken there are several different stages for me first I will act out by arguing and not listening to my mother my father is out of the picture the next stage is me getting more angry and frustrated because my mother still even after so many years of this doesn't understand that she's doing something wrong in the sense that she's not being supportive and taking away the supports I do have I gradually get more and more frustrated until I lash out physically by breaking things Ill yell scream and eventually work myself up brought to the point where I'll Burst into tears reveal all my feelings and run away lock myself in a room or go to the woods and hide the next stage is where I feel miserable I'll mope around refuse to do anything like choirs and ill eat nothing I normally avoid people already but it gets much worse than usual and I'll cry alot. Next is where I start to lose any feeling I couldn't care less about the world around me and I have this immense self hate that flairs up. Next is where I start harming myself I just feel so broken and please understand that in my normal mindset I would never want to do this but I get to the point where my decisions don't make much sense and I do stupid things that I always regret after. The last stage which doesn't always happen but happens too often is where I want to kill myself and will actually try. Keep in mind I don't have many friends and most of my family has the mindset that I'm stupid and over emotional and lazy and all that stuff so I have nobody really to help me except for a few people who live farther away and when I get like this especially if I can't contact anyone its a very bad thing. In my experience I do know how your friends son must feel I know that he could have a form of depression the stuff piled up in his room is evidence of that he could be holding onto items given to him by people that mean a lot to him and the item itself may not mean much but it's a way of clinging onto that person and not wanting to lose them and other item he may actually like but the majority is probably something gifted you also mentioned the father being the mothers ex and not having any custody whatsoever meaning the kid may not have a father figure around as much as he should and that can be very damaging as well. A lot of the time a child sees this as a rejection no matter how this situation came to be they will blame themselves in some form. This is getting very long so my last note is going to be don't EVER compare your child to someone else it makes them feel as though you think they are a ****ty person with a ****ty personality and that you dont like them you must always treat your child with compassion and love no matter what use empathy and try to understand what they are feeling. I know this barely has anything on the matter of the child's possessions and the legality of taking them away but when I read what you said and what everyone else said it looks in the view of a teenager like me that you treat your children almost as your property and like you should have a say in what they do with their lives and that you can control them think about this your adults how would you feel being controled by someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally.
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