Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-16-2012, 07:48 PM
 
1 posts, read 7,684 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

why can a parent who didn't buy some for a child take it away. What if the child is buying the things themselves and has a job paying for whatever it is they have? how can a parent take that from them, because i'm not understanding that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-16-2012, 08:09 PM
 
18,837 posts, read 37,218,706 times
Reputation: 26458
Call me mean, but any property in my house is mine. That means, if I find weed in your room, it is mine. You are looking at porn on the laptop your Dad gave you in your room, in my house? That computer is mine too. Thanks, I wanted a new laptop.

Guess what? Due to my "Draconian" parenting skills, I have four adult children, who do not live with me. I call that successful parenting.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2012, 08:25 PM
 
24,488 posts, read 41,000,067 times
Reputation: 12919
I absolutely think that a parent can take away a child's property. But should they? Only if there is a good reason to. A parent shouldn't just walk into a child's bedroom and take their property because the parent wants it. However, if the child has something they shouldn't, or is breaking the rules, etc.... the parent is well within the right to confiscate the child's property.


Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
You are looking at porn on the laptop your Dad gave you in your room, in my house? That computer is mine too. Thanks, I wanted a new laptop.
Taking away a computer for looking at porn seems a bit harsh to me. It sends the message that porn is wrong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2012, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,204 posts, read 2,519,190 times
Reputation: 1551
Quote:
Originally Posted by thanksforthehelp View Post
A friend has a 16 year old child that is very uncooperative, getting into trouble, threatening her and her daughter and generally destroying their family life and home.

His bedroom is beyond a mess. It's literally difficult to move in the room because there is so much stuff piled everywhere. She has told him that she is going to go in and clean his room and get rid of everything.

He, of course, has stated that she has no right to touch his property. I think he actually has no right to any property in the house and that everything actually belongs to his mother. I believe she has the right to do whatever she pleases with "his" property.

The parents are divorced and the mother has full custody of the children. The father has no custody at all. He has now called and told her that she had better not take away anything from the child that he gave to his son, or he will take her to court. Again, I believe that she has the right to determine what happens to any property in her home. I believe the father has no right to tell her to leave it alone.

Of course, my opinion really means nothing. It comes down to the law. Anyone else here have experience with these issues? I just want to help her find factual information to determine what her rights are in her home. Any resources would be especially appreciated.

Thanks a lot.
I would go ahead and pack up everything that the father has given to the child and send in to him with a note stating that the child can have/use these items at your house because he/she is not allowed to at yours. Then take the rest of the stuff and pack it up leaving a mattress and a blanket.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2012, 08:33 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,127,378 times
Reputation: 22750
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
You are wrong on quite a few points. The UTMA was created to make it easier to protect property of children under 13k. Trusts aren't required. Real Estate is included in the protection. Whether he wins or not, the father could tie the mother up in court arguing that any gifts under 13k are protected----especially since the details of UTMA vary from state to state.
Hopes, no offense, but the UTMA doesn't have a thing to do with christmas gifts, birthday gifts, etc. It has to do with transfer of assets/property (investments, bonds, stocks, etc) to be put in a trust (or a custodial account) on behalf of a minor, that will be distributed by a trustee of that account.

A parent is a minor's legal guardian, until they reach the age of majority. Whatever mom decides to do, no court is gonna slap her wrists for doing. Of course, I am assuming there is nothing as valuable as a car from Dad, lol.

Mom can do whatever with his property, but it would be wrong to just toss it and it would simply create issues w/ the bio-Dad. It can be boxed up. It would be smart to let Dad know what is going on. It is also possible that the father could use this as a way to open a custody case, if the son says he doesn't want to live with mom any longer. The courts would most likely have no problem changing a custody arrangement if the father and son agreed that is what they wanted . . . most courts are gonna let a child that age decide where he/she wants to live.

If mom is receiving maintenance (alimony) and child support, having son go live with Dad will, of course, have financial repercussions.

Last edited by brokensky; 01-16-2012 at 08:44 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:20 PM
 
Location: North America
14,204 posts, read 12,218,401 times
Reputation: 5565
look at it this way the property resides in your her house right? so tell her to make a rule saying that so and so stuff cannot be in the house .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:22 PM
 
Location: North America
14,204 posts, read 12,218,401 times
Reputation: 5565
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
The Act protects gifts under $13,000. It could be argued that these meager items fall within that protection.

I realize that it's unlikely, but he can very well cost her money fighting it in court. That's not an expense I would want to have.


Agreed. Giving the items to the father would eliminate most legal worries. Your initial post simply said she would get rid of everything.

Please warn your friend, 16 year olds have a right to decide which parent they wish to live with in most states.

As a result, custody becomes sort of irrelevant at various ages in different states.

Because he is not the injured party he could not sue her so shes safe there. I mean he could sue, but doubtful it will precede. Since he lacks legally custody of his child he could not sue on his child's behalf either.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:25 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,662,571 times
Reputation: 30710
Quote:
Originally Posted by icecoldhearted View Post
why can a parent who didn't buy some for a child take it away. What if the child is buying the things themselves and has a job paying for whatever it is they have? how can a parent take that from them, because i'm not understanding that.
Might depend on the state. In my state, a parent can't permanently take property away from a minor. My son's friend lived with us last year. His mother took his car, which was in his name and he had paid for with his own money. When he turned 18, he could take her to court for his car. If she had sold it, given it away, or destroyed it, she would have been required to repay him because it was his property.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:26 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,662,571 times
Reputation: 30710
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
Because he is not the injured party he could not sue her so shes safe there. I mean he could sue, but doubtful it will precede. Since he lacks legally custody of his child he could not sue on his child's behalf either.
Any lawsuit can be initiated when a child turns 18.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:37 PM
 
Location: Barrington, IL area
1,594 posts, read 3,048,738 times
Reputation: 4957
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Any lawsuit can be initiated when a child turns 18.
Which, according to when this thread was started, could be any day now...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top