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It was the clod's crude comment in front of a small child that is the issue, not that the stranger actually spoke to him.
I bet you aren't a parent.
It was a crude comment that undoubtably flew right over the head of that small child, and there is something to be said for that. It's not like the guy said it in front of a 10-year old or started thowing around sailor language.
As a matter of fact, I have two young kids. And my response to that situation would have been something along the lines of looking at the guy, nodding at my kids, and saying, "dude, not appropriate." I would not think that he was "disgusting" for striking up a conversation with a random compliment about an unknown female. I might think he was socially awkward and/or crude, but so what? It's a free country, for now, and he hurt no one with that comment (aside from the OP's sensitivities).
Really dont find it rude
I can see if he said someting rude about her, but no it was a compliment.
A compliment is something you can also say to someone's face. I like your shirt or Your hair style really looks good on you. Typically, you do not walk up to a woman and tell her, "You are hot. Real sexy!" Actually, one might do that in a bar/night club, but certainly not in an amusement park. I probably wouldn't have had that much of a problem if he would have said, "She looks beautiful" or "She's pretty, isn't she?" I just don't want my 4-yr old using words like "hot" and "sexy" to describe girls.
And if it was meant to be a compliment, what was his motive in asking me if I knew her? If I would have answered in the affirmative, are you telling me that he would have still said "Wow, isn't she hot? Real sexy!" Nope, he had that much social skills and knew where to draw the line. He just subscribed to the school of thought, "our kids are just 4, they won't understand anything!"
And again, my complain is not about a stranger talking to me. It's about a parent saying these things in front of my son.
A compliment is something you can also say to someone's face. I like your shirt or Your hair style really looks good on you. Typically, you do not walk up to a woman and tell her, "You are hot. Real sexy!" Actually, one might do that in a bar/night club, but certainly not in an amusement park.
I was out at an amusement park with my 4-yr old, standing in the queue for a roller coaster ride. The man (father, I guess) in front of me had a 3-yr old with him. Suddenly, this man turns to me, points at an Asian woman and asks me, "Do you know her?" "No," I replied, taken a little aback. He exclaimed, "Wow, isn't she hot? Real sexy!". I just smiled back at him (politely) and ignored him by continuing to talk to my son.
What was this idiot thinking trying to talk about women with a total stranger? Sure, even I ogle at women, but I draw the line when it comes to making comments about them. And never would I do that in front of small children.
Regards,
K
may not be the wisest thing to do around small children depending on one's value system.
Not polite to enjoin a random person in the situation.
Possibly offensive to the woman in question because he pointed and said it aloud.
If I had been there, I would have laughed, checked her out and agreed or disagreed.
Would not have initiated the discussion although I do ogle women I find attractive every chance I get.
While I would never hold my son back on admiring beauty, I would certainly draw the line if he started making comments such as "Daddy, I have a hot girl in my class!". While it might sound cute to some, that would set him off on the path where he wouldn't know one derogatory comment from other.
You'd rather he just think it and not tell you? Because believe me, at some point, he WILL think it.
And again, my complain is not about a stranger talking to me. It's about a parent saying these things in front of my son.
You will never be able to take your child somewhere in public where everybody will use appropriate language just because he is present. It just won't happen.
You can't control what others say, but you CAN control how YOU react and teach your son to react.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kutra11
I was out at an amusement parkwith my 4-yr old, standing in the queue for a roller coaster ride. The man (father, I guess) in front of me had a 3-yr old with him.
Did you ask your son what he thought about the remark that stranger made? My guess is he didn't even hear. A four year old at an amusement park waiting for a ride on a roller coaster is really not in the mind frame to listen to some random stranger making a remark. Particularly a remark he would not understand to begin with unless you explained it to him.
As a side, I have been many places where a particularly interesting person or persons have been in the same vacinity. Sometimes it isn't more than a look shared between myself and a stranger to communicate an opinion of what we both witnessed. Sometimes it's a comment or simply one word, but a lot of times it's just a look.
There are going to be many, many times that you will not be able to protect your son from hearing things you would rather he not hear; in the mall, in a park, at school, any place there are people. I understand your desire to protect him from certain language, but you can't.
The best you can do is prepare him and teach him your values, thoughts and ideas about it. He will draw his own all in due time. You need to lay the foundation for him to build on.
Again, you cannot control what other people say. I would have preferred my daughter had not rode the city bus when she was very small. She heard a LOT and all I could do was explain to her that some people say things that aren't nice and they show their ignorance by cussing or talking badly in front of little girls. Something like hot and sexy, at 4 would have gone right over her head.
Some of you all will chuckle at this story. I met a nice lady by guessing her weight, in her language, as she stepped up onto a digital pay scale in front of a 7-11 store. "See-sip-gow;" 49 Kilos. A nursing professor. She was really amused. Turns out she had been to Charlottesville, VA. We're still friends four years, later. Needless to say, that wouldn't go over too well in the majority of the US.
But back to the legal hair splitting of the original situation. Sexy would not be a good word to use in front of toddlers, "hot" would be tolerable, IMHO. I would also, be glad he wasn't talking about another toddler. I have been at concerts before and said to someone: "Is she with you?" because I might be interested in meeting her. If the person said "No," I might have to throw in a reason why I was asking kind of like a part of personal networking, like "Well, she is kind of hot" or I might not say anything but I might make a whistling noise depending on the venue.
I was out at an amusement park with my 4-yr old, standing in the queue for a roller coaster ride. The man (father, I guess) in front of me had a 3-yr old with him. Suddenly, this man turns to me, points at an Asian woman and asks me, "Do you know her?" "No," I replied, taken a little aback. He exclaimed, "Wow, isn't she hot? Real sexy!". I just smiled back at him (politely) and ignored him by continuing to talk to my son.
What was this idiot thinking trying to talk about women with a total stranger? Sure, even I ogle at women, but I draw the line when it comes to making comments about them. And never would I do that in front of small children.
Regards,
K
I personally don't see what's so wrong here. At least he asked you if you knew her first so he wouldn't possibly offend you. Too late for that apparently. And second, when I first started reading this I was worried that he might have said some kind of racial slur. That definitely would have been inappropriate for adults and especially children. But simply saying that someone is "hot" is minor and certainly not going to make your child grow up any worse than he/she already is. But for the original question, was the comment disgusting? No. But he probably could have used more tact by saying something like, 'Wow, that lady sure is attractive!'
This is soley my own personal opinion, but by severely restricting the amount of things a child sees and hears will only make them act out worse when they get any kind of freedom when older. Kind of like making up for lost time. But I'm not talking about exposing them to alcohol, sex, or violence either. Balance is needed, and honest answers to difficult questions coupled with appropriate discipline usually will provide a productive adult someday. Hopefully.
I was out at an amusement park with my 4-yr old, standing in the queue for a roller coaster ride. The man (father, I guess) in front of me had a 3-yr old with him. Suddenly, this man turns to me, points at an Asian woman and asks me, "Do you know her?" "No," I replied, taken a little aback. He exclaimed, "Wow, isn't she hot? Real sexy!". I just smiled back at him (politely) and ignored him by continuing to talk to my son.
What was this idiot thinking trying to talk about women with a total stranger? Sure, even I ogle at women, but I draw the line when it comes to making comments about them. And never would I do that in front of small children.
Regards,
K
Did he have a beer in hand too? Some men feel that is the only way to connect to another male is to talk about something sexual ( I know too many men like this). Yes, I think it was uncalled for. He probably asked you if you knew her first because the idiot has made the mistake in the past by doing the same thing but not knowing it was someone's wife or GF. Yep, good times at amusement parks.
well it would've been par for the course if you were holding a bday party at Hooters for your child like the waitress in the other thread advocated lol
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Some men feel that is the only way to connect to another male is to talk about something sexual ( I know too many men like this). Yes, I think it was uncalled for. He probably asked you if you knew her first because the idiot has made the mistake in the past by doing the same thing but not knowing it was someone's wife or GF. Yep, good times at amusement parks.
