Searching for biological son, Jonathan (father, names, birth, relatives)
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cmac1- What a beautiful thing you are doing for your two girls. They're very fortunate to a Mom who is willing to do this. I wish you all the luck in your search. Please let us know if/when you locate the birth mother.
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Originally Posted by cmacf1
Ric Lee - I'm so happy that you and your son were able to find each other!! I am an adoptive mom (to 2 girls, ages 7 and 9.) They were born overseas, and we have taken efforts to find their birth mothers and to find out how to contact them in the future so that, when our girls are older, they can find their birth moms if they wish. I have such empathy for those two women, and I am forever indebted to them.
Yes, it worked out wonderfully and as I stated before, if it wasn't for City-Data and the work of hcgCali I would still be broken-hearted. My son and are can now build a future when in the past 32 years I didn't think I would eve see him again. And every time I hear him say, "I love you" it melts my heart.
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Originally Posted by AnnieA
One that has worked out well. I am so glad and I hope you both continue in each others love and good graces. MOST OF ALL, thank you for coming back and telling us the outcome.
Thank you DeeHexi. As far as a happy ending; on the search but a brand new beginning in our lives.
I appreciate the second paragraph. I'm so happy with all the support given here. It has really helped.
Thank you.
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Originally Posted by DeeHexi
Congratulations...I wish you both all the best. Yes, we love happy endings!!!
And to all others who condemned her for trying to find her son. It is not your (or my) place to judge others. If somebody wishes to find their relatives (no matter what happened in their past) then we either help or we don't. Easy. But attacking somebody because your opinion is different on a certain subject is just disrespectful. Don't read the threads or keep quiet. Help or don't.
I am glad it all worked out for them!!!
Joaniebaby, my story was a bit complicated as well but determination, perseverance and the willingness of those here brought such happiness to this old gals heart.
So many times throughout the years I gave up; even took Jonathans pictures off our wall because it hurt too much. Then slowly I'd start all over. The time it was the worst, I think, was when I had that phone call with Carol Candlish and the hurtful things she said to me. I knew what I was against but had no idea the impact it would make.
I wish you success in your search and hope it will end soon for you. I know how the length of time can take it's toll.
Best wishes!
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Originally Posted by Joaniebabyuk
The Data City Admins and search people are wonderful. I have a seach thread here too since 2009, my story is very complicated and I am still hoping I will find the person I am looking for. I look in here every day.
Riclee, good luck with your new realationship with your son.
Why do you assume he was lied to?
All you are concerned about is YOUR needs. That is very selfish. Even more selfish being that you did place him for adoption, which in and of itself is a loving gift but now you want to dirty that by placing the child in the position of telling his BM he doesn't want anything to do with her.
Being an adoptee, I hope that he never has to do that. It will be very tragic for him.
Leave him in peace.
Please this person is trying to find her son and you've been nothing but negative about her trying to find him. He's an adult now and can make decisions on whether he wants to talk to her or not.
Thank you donie1 It was a long search but, it's true, all good things are worth waiting for. We're on the road to sharing and getting to know each other.
Usually we can't find people who were adopted because of the name change, so we recommend the birth parent register with adoption.com and also leave permission to contact with the adoption agency/state.
But in this case, the child was a little older. While adoptive parents usually change the name of infants, it's recommended that with older children the original first name is kept the same if the child already identifies with it. So I took a chance and searched for a Jonathan with the same birthdate.
I found what I believed to be the right person and Direct-Messaged the info to Riclee on 8/8/2010 rather than post it, because the thread was becoming contentious.
Riclee then spent many months and dollars trying to have private investigators help her. Finally she had a relative call the number I had given her, and it was instantly verified that he was her son. He was thrilled, because he was searching for her, too.
Actually, hcgCali, my wife's cousin Cynthia, did more searching using the info you gave me. She found members of my sons family on Facebook and connected with Jonathan's daughters Mom. She wrote a private msg to her and the rest is history. I then contacted Jonathan after being given his phone number.
Again, NONE of this would have happened if it wasn't for you. You will always have a special place in our hearts.
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Originally Posted by hcgCali
For those who are wondering what happened -
Usually we can't find people who were adopted because of the name change, so we recommend the birth parent register with adoption.com and also leave permission to contact with the adoption agency/state.
But in this case, the child was a little older. While adoptive parents usually change the name of infants, it's recommended that with older children the original first name is kept the same if the child already identifies with it. So I took a chance and searched for a Jonathan with the same birthdate.
I found what I believed to be the right person and Direct-Messaged the info to Riclee on 8/8/2010 rather than post it, because the thread was becoming contentious.
Riclee then spent many months and dollars trying to have private investigators help her. Finally she had a relative call the number I had given her, and it was instantly verified that he was her son. He was thrilled, because he was searching for her, too.
I was explaining how I found the right person - through a first name search. It's very rare that we find an adopted person, and other birth parents are interested in how it happened.
I sent you the name and contact info, including the names of his parents and relatives, on 8/8/2010, and your response was that you were going to contact a PI to look into it. You did not ask me to dig deeper or do any further searching and it was my impression you didn't trust the info I'd sent you and wanted it verified by a PI. Then over the next months you occasionally sent messages saying the PIs had done nothing but take your money. I think it's important for the readers to know that, too, because people are always asking if they should try a paid search.
Finally on 2/4 2011 you wrote that you sent the cousin the info I gave you, the cousin made contact with him, and the name I gave you was the correct person. I didn't hear from you again until 10/12/2011 when you wrote that you'd met him in person.
Sorry I didn't give the cousin enough credit, but I didn't know those details about Facebook. Cynthia is indeed a wonderful person.
I'm glad your reunion went so well. We at City-Data love happy endings.
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