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Old 04-24-2011, 06:28 AM
 
Location: England
50 posts, read 108,070 times
Reputation: 77

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I had an idea from about aged 6 that there was a half brother in Manitoba Canada. I kept quiet for 48 years !!! I just knew not to upset my Mother. After she died in 2001 I told one of my siblings my thoughts that I had kept quiet for all those years. My Father died in 2008, now the hints and him wanting to go back to Canada to "make amends" as he said a few years before he died all turned out to be true that there IS a half sibling in Manitoba. My parents lived in Manitoba for 10 years before going back to thier native land in Ireland. My Father told my brother he had two sons born in Manitoba clinched the puzzle for me. My brother decided not to tell the rest of us that we had a half sibling until I mentioned it after our Father died. Our Father only "confessed" to another son three months before he died. If only I had of known ! I would have asked him outright about it. You know, keeping it in my brain for nearly 50 years is such a burden.
After two years of asking family members in Ireland if they knew anything, it turns out to be the best kept secret in 50 years. I now think our parents decided to keep it quiet. Of course that means my father had an affair and the son was the outcome. I have looked at many search sites ( including this one) but with no name of the half sibling and no name of his Mother, it seems such an impossible task to try and find him. I am still trying to decide how to expand my search.
I for one want to know about my half brother, my other 3 siblings are ok about it but are not going to try and do what I am doing. I understand some comments about not "opening up old wounds". I would respect the wishes of the half brother or his Mother if they did not want to know us. Maybe my half brother was adopted, maybe he has been told there is/was no Bio Father. Lots of maybe's but I have been trying for 3 years to find any information and will carry on till I can do no more.
Many family's have secrets, my Father ( I know now ) broached the subject many times after our Mother died but had not got the courage to tell me about his secret. I have no animosity against my Father. I so understand him now since he died. I look in this search site every day to see if my half sibling came across my post/search. A chance maybe ?
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Old 04-24-2011, 05:15 PM
 
6 posts, read 9,898 times
Reputation: 21
My husband is in his early '60's and just found out in Dec. '10 the identity of his birth mother. She is deceased, but a cousin told him that his mother had a daughter. We are trying to find the half sister and make contact, not necessarily looking for a relationship. Who knows if they will even like each other, but it's very important to my husband to at least find her and see what happens. I'm not sure she would want the same. Seems a bit cruel to me if she would deny him that opportunity.
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Old 04-24-2011, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,204 posts, read 2,172,489 times
Reputation: 1539
My husbands father was married quite a few times and my husband has like 8 or 9 half siblings. I asked him once why he never sought them out and he said he had never felt the need to and didn't really care to meet any of them.

I think you should leave well enough alone. IMO If the mother had wanted the other children to know she would have either told them, or left something in her will or a letter.
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Old 04-24-2011, 06:20 PM
 
1,214 posts, read 1,355,708 times
Reputation: 1908
Knowing family is important not only to the siblings, but to the children of the siblings. This is a small world and a strong possibility that first cousins could meet and marry.
Also of concern is medical history. Do you absolutely know that the children of your family don't know about their siblings? There is always a big mouth in the family. There were some family secrets in my family and no one thought I knew. I never said anything until I was told by an extended family member. I responded with, "I know".
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Old 04-25-2011, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Hernando, FL
749 posts, read 2,100,242 times
Reputation: 534
I do, 5 of them and would love to meet them. Trouble is, my state is a sealed record state and they will only divulge non-id info. I've spent many hours trying to locate them but no results. Since my mom is most likely dead and both my adoptive parents are dead I think I'm going to petition the court to unseal the record, only hope I've got.
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Old 04-26-2011, 03:00 AM
 
Location: England
50 posts, read 108,070 times
Reputation: 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1coolcustomer View Post
I do, 5 of them and would love to meet them. Trouble is, my state is a sealed record state and they will only divulge non-id info. I've spent many hours trying to locate them but no results. Since my mom is most likely dead and both my adoptive parents are dead I think I'm going to petition the court to unseal the record, only hope I've got.

Good Luck.
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Old 04-26-2011, 04:33 PM
 
2 posts, read 3,953 times
Reputation: 15
I would definitely tell them. I am still searching for my half-sister. I am 57 years old. I will never stop searching for Kristina Fisher.
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Old 04-26-2011, 06:10 PM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,717,452 times
Reputation: 26118
Interesting how people think about this. I have no desire at all to meet my half siblings. They mean nothing to me, and are not "family", it is like my "Father" was a sperm donor, and had all these random kids with different women, then he moved on and left them. What would be the purpose of our meeting? To discuss our loser Father? What other reason is there to even meet these people?
I have half siblings who are African American, and also Vietmese American. It is like some strange tv talk show, "Meet Siblings You Never Knew"...why? What is the point?
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Old 04-26-2011, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Colorado
554 posts, read 1,352,203 times
Reputation: 949
You know what's funny? I have a few cousins that I simply can't stand. (I have a HUGE family) By chance, we just happen to live within 5 miles of eachother and we NEVER talk or see each other. We weren't always like that, but for some reason it just ended up like this, and I do find that sad. But at least we know we exist, we know where each other live and we're just fine with that. We don't do Christmas cards, we don't even send each other email jokes. But at least I have a reason to not like them. For people who don't even want to know if your family is alive or dead, I just don't understand that.
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Old 04-26-2011, 08:09 PM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,717,452 times
Reputation: 26118
But these siblings are NOT family. Family is people you know, who you have a common background with. I don't know these people. How are they "family" to me? They are nothing, not any more than siblings of sperm donors.
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