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No, I don't think I would want to know, but I admit am not positive about this. I can't imagine wanting to treat someone as family, maybe too soon just because they were, and yet them being total strangers. I would not know at first what type of person or people they were, and could be taken advantage of.
Kindred spirit is closer than mere blood relative. I think I prefer my very few friends that are as close to me as siblings, but then....I suppose it is a fun and yet strange idea that it could be such a trip to find out this late in life that I had yet another sibling.
I always knew I had 3 half siblings growing up, and never gave much thought about trying to locate them. But 2 years ago, my curiosity got the better of me and I started searching. I have since located all 3 , and have developed a wonderful relationship with one of my half brothers! I have met all of them, and 2 have chosen not to correspond, and I'm ok with that. But one brother and I are very close, and now I couldn't imagine my life without him. In my opinion, I think you should at least try, being prepared for the possibility that they may choose not to respond. But at least you won't go through life wondering what could have been. The relationship we now have was absolutely worth all the pain and heartache I had to get there. His father is my father, and while I have never met him, I don't let that affect what we have. As I see it, we are both innocent victims of his lies and deceit, and there is no reason for us to be apart because of it.
I found out a few years ago that I had a half-sister I had never known about. It has been AMAZING having her in my life. And I am definitely NOT one who thinks that blood lines trump everything else, so for me, it's saying a lot that I wish I had known her growing up.
I recently found out about 2 half siblings I had and was more than happy to connect with them. Unfortunately, with that inevitably comes drama and confusion, particularly if it involved a divorce in the past.
Nonetheless- I don't regret connecting with them, and hope that one day in the future we can be much closer and cultivate a stronger relationship. I'd love for them to be an aunt and uncle to my future children one day (I also have a half-sister from my Mom and adoptive father as well-- we grew up together and I don't see her as anything but a sister-- I call my adoptive father Dad as well).
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Originally Posted by jasper12
But these siblings are NOT family. Family is people you know, who you have a common background with. I don't know these people. How are they "family" to me? They are nothing, not any more than siblings of sperm donors.
Though, in reality, this is true, when my half siblings reached out to me, who am I to turn them down? Maybe my situation was different as my half siblings are children. Also, it was so strange because both of my half siblings from my bio-father's side look like me! Despite differences in eye and hair color, there's quite a lot of resemblance!
Some things are best left unsaid. If he did not bring it up...then perhaps you should not either.
I suppose I am just not really interested in more family, or connections. At age 50, I just don't see myself calling someone out of the blue, and having this relationship...based on DNA. It just seems very strange to me. What is the point?
I think everyone has to make his or her own decision. My half brother just contacted me (we are both in our 60s). Neither of us knew about the other one (I didn't even know about my dad's earlier marriage). But I am delighted to know about him, and I hope we can have a relationship. Maybe it's because I was an only child......
My parents are both dead, so if I have any half siblings it is unlikely I'll ever learn about them. If I were to stumble across the fact any did exist, I doubt I'd try to contact them and would not feel open to them contacting me out of the blue.
There are also unresolved issues regarding half siblings and the relationship of other family members. Did the parent treat all the kids the same? Or were some treated differently?
I still have no desire for a "Dr. Phil" show and all my half siblings. Yes, we are "friends" on Facebook, but I don't see it going further than that.
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