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Old 04-19-2012, 08:35 PM
 
Location: Little Rock AR USA
2,457 posts, read 6,327,798 times
Reputation: 1869

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Quote:
Originally Posted by howard555 View Post
It's been about 30 years since you met with him.
At age 87, he may have seen his own siblings pass away, over the years, and is more aware of aging and losing relatives.

There is a chance that he has changed his mind.

Maybe not to the extent that the two of you become active in each other's lives, but maybe basic communication between blood relatives. Who, in reality, are getting older by the year.

One of these years, it will be too late.
A very good point I didn't think about.
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Old 04-23-2012, 01:58 PM
 
3,573 posts, read 5,647,885 times
Reputation: 3442
I would contact him because people's feelings change over time. You agreed to never see him again but now want to. He might have changed his feelings too.

I had a fight with my father and didn't talk to him for 2 years. We were both stubborn. There was a gentleman that lived a couple of doors down from my father and told me that my father wasn't doing too well physically. I did nothing. His landlord called me a couple of days later to tell me she hadn't seen my father in a couple of days and didn't know where he was. I went to his apt and it looked like he had just walked out for a short period. He had his TV on and his livingroom lights on. I called around different hospitals and I found him in a local hospital. He had lapsed into a coma a couple of hours before I came to the hospital. I stayed with him for the next week as he was admitted to a hospice and was there for him when he passed. BUT I so wished that I would have been the bigger person and called him and patched things up.

If you have a nagging thought that you can't shake, please listen to your instincts and go see him. You might see him in his final days but it will be good for both of you. Plus you might have a family that wants you in their lives.

Go before it's too late. Don't be like me.
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Old 04-26-2012, 06:22 AM
 
Location: Greater Greenville, SC
5,893 posts, read 11,407,113 times
Reputation: 10557
Donie 1, thanks for the encouragement to contact my dad. I'm very sorry that your didn't get to your father until he had already gone into a coma, but it's great that you were there for him at the end.

I DO feel a sense of urgency in that my dad is 87 years old. I haven't been back in this thread lately, but with help, I have located a ton of information about my dad's family (and there are a LOT of them!). Through his siblings' and mother's obits I was able to find a lot of living relatives and their locations.

I do plan on contacting some of the other relatives prior to contacting my dad directly. I'm hoping they can give me some info on his condition and at least the name and possibly contact info for my half-sister. I have located my dad's son (my half-brother) but have not yet been able to make contact.

I promise to post back here and let everyone know the outcome. Either way, my mind will not rest until I have at least tried.
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Old 04-28-2012, 08:03 PM
 
3,573 posts, read 5,647,885 times
Reputation: 3442
Good to hear. Don't put it off and make time to do it. I know life gets in the way but some things we need to do urgently. Time is not on your father's side.
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Old 07-04-2012, 08:17 AM
 
10,840 posts, read 14,882,451 times
Reputation: 5095
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotogGal View Post

I haven't been back in this thread lately, but with help, I have located a ton of information about my dad's family (and there are a LOT of them!). Through his siblings' and mother's obits I was able to find a lot of living relatives and their locations.

I do plan on contacting some of the other relatives prior to contacting my dad directly. I'm hoping they can give me some info on his condition and at least the name and possibly contact info for my half-sister. I have located my dad's son (my half-brother) but have not yet been able to make contact.

I promise to post back here and let everyone know the outcome. Either way, my mind will not rest until I have at least tried.
I'm sure one of them will be very receptive to hearing from you, and knowing you, and helping you get in touch with your Father and his other children.
For example, you would be the niece of your Father's sister, or his sister in law.
She may not even have known she had another niece, and be very eager and happy to know you.
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