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Private? Just decide what you wish to post on the public forum and what details you wish to keep private. I do not know exactly what the limits are on direct messages. Ask on the administrative forum down at the bottom of the page and you will get a quick reply. I think there may be a limit per day for new members. Not sure.
No I haven't done that, I can relate but mine is almost the same My Adopted Mother Died not even a year after my adoption 13 months after I was born and my father who I haven't spoken to in almost 21 years made me feel that her death was my fault. I was suppose to have one more Sibling (they where planning on adopting 2) however after her death my father married the first of 2 total dead beats so I ended up being an only child but I have always thought there might be a sister or a brother out there. Anyway I have gone on enough about me.
So sorry for what you've been through. I'm helping a friend try to find her daughter that she placed for adoption in 1974. Very sad story; married to a man that did not want a child. She kept the baby for 4 months; came home from work one day (he rarely worked) to find her "hub" cheating on her & her child in her crib soaked in urine. She left the next day; went to her mothers in another state; to find her mother with breast cancer with a poor prognosis. There were 6 kids under 18; feeding everyone was rough. My friend was there maybe a month when the mother said; her formula is gone; how do you plan to feed her?
The mother went to Catholic Charities behind her back; eventually told my friend that if she wanted her daughter to have a life; she needed to relinquish her ASAP while she was still young & "adoptable". CC never spoke to her. Never told her if she had options like child support. She was in such a blur from everything that happened.
She never planned to give her child up. Ever! I've been seeing that there are so many similar stories from back then.
Are you registered on the reunion site? There is also a board - & subtopics such as State year & agency adoption
The best place to start is on Facebook. Adoption news & events has many adoption FB pages that they like.
The search angels are wonderful here. They helped my friend find her friends child. Find me I am adopted/
Quote:
Originally Posted by howard555
Private? Just decide what you wish to post on the public forum and what details you wish to keep private. I do not know exactly what the limits are on direct messages. Ask on the administrative forum down at the bottom of the page and you will get a quick reply. I think there may be a limit per day for new members. Not sure.
New members are not able to reply to direct messages. I do not know if they can read them all. Once they make enough posts (not sure if it's 10 or 25) then they are able to.
I'll send you a couple links from a previous question. When you go to Cradle, keep in mind the information that those links provide you.
Have you considered re-establishing contact with your Father? He may be able to help. He may know things you do not know, but want to know. Also, does he have any brothers and sisters you might try to contact. If there was another child they may likely be aware of it.
You need the sealed birth certificate to get your birth parents names, and those links can help you. It's relevant to Illinois.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr
So sorry for what you've been through. I'm helping a friend try to find her daughter that she placed for adoption in 1974. Very sad story; married to a man that did not want a child. She kept the baby for 4 months; came home from work one day (he rarely worked) to find her "hub" cheating on her & her child in her crib soaked in urine. She left the next day; went to her mothers in another state; to find her mother with breast cancer with a poor prognosis. There were 6 kids under 18; feeding everyone was rough. My friend was there maybe a month when the mother said; her formula is gone; how do you plan to feed her?
The mother went to Catholic Charities behind her back; eventually told my friend that if she wanted her daughter to have a life; she needed to relinquish her ASAP while she was still young & "adoptable". CC never spoke to her. Never told her if she had options like child support. She was in such a blur from everything that happened.
She never planned to give her child up. Ever! I've been seeing that there are so many similar stories from back then.
Are you registered on the reunion site? There is also a board - & subtopics such as State year & agency adoption
The best place to start is on Facebook. Adoption news & events has many adoption FB pages that they like.
The search angels are wonderful here. They helped my friend find her friends child. Find me I am adopted/
New members are not able to reply to direct messages. I do not know if they can read them all. Once they make enough posts (not sure if it's 10 or 25) then they are able to.
Well thank you for that, I know a little bit about my birth.... I know my parents where not married but where also not teen's my Mother was in her early 20's and my father was in his mid 20's but had no intrest in kids at that time (Taking about my birth parents not my adopted).... The one other fact that I wasn't sure I wanted to share but then I figured I am also not 20 something anymore I am 40 and in a great life place moment right now is also the fact that I am gay.
I had thought about this for actually several years on if I wanted to try and tract down my blood family after having a very very dysfunctional adopted family (Mostly on my adopted father's side) and the more I thought about it the more I thought yes I do want to see what is out there and what type of person that they are. I must confess that I really want to see if I have other gay relatives to see where I got not only my personality from but also my looks from. My Adopted family has been surprised with everything that I have gone through with my life that I had either not killed myself or someone else... (I am not that type of person) which is one reason why I have distent myself from my father and really most of my family members so I could not only be myself but to be the person I was suppose to be.
Ok I know I am rambling a lot here I guess I needed to get that out. Anyway today I put a request for my original birth certificate in the mail and hopefully I will begin to get some answers in a few months and can start the search.
Good luck, FlyBoy. There have been some families with what looks like a strong genetic link to being LGBT. Even if you don't find that, you will find other personality traits that you can relate to. Hope you find them.
Well thank you for that, I know a little bit about my birth.... I know my parents where not married but where also not teen's my Mother was in her early 20's and my father was in his mid 20's but had no intrest in kids at that time (Taking about my birth parents not my adopted).... The one other fact that I wasn't sure I wanted to share but then I figured I am also not 20 something anymore I am 40 and in a great life place moment right now is also the fact that I am gay.
I had thought about this for actually several years on if I wanted to try and tract down my blood family after having a very very dysfunctional adopted family (Mostly on my adopted father's side) and the more I thought about it the more I thought yes I do want to see what is out there and what type of person that they are. I must confess that I really want to see if I have other gay relatives to see where I got not only my personality from but also my looks from. My Adopted family has been surprised with everything that I have gone through with my life that I had either not killed myself or someone else... (I am not that type of person) which is one reason why I have distent myself from my father and really most of my family members so I could not only be myself but to be the person I was suppose to be.
Ok I know I am rambling a lot here I guess I needed to get that out. Anyway today I put a request for my original birth certificate in the mail and hopefully I will begin to get some answers in a few months and can start the search.
I sent you a DM with more info. There is so much help out there. They have access to a bunch of info right at their finger tips. Since they do this; they know exactly what info they are looking for & where.
I sent you a DM with more info. There is so much help out there. They have access to a bunch of info right at their finger tips. Since they do this; they know exactly what info they are looking for & where.
Thank you so much for the information I will check it out
I'll send you a couple links from a previous question. When you go to Cradle, keep in mind the information that those links provide you.
Have you considered re-establishing contact with your Father? He may be able to help. He may know things you do not know, but want to know. Also, does he have any brothers and sisters you might try to contact. If there was another child they may likely be aware of it.
You need the sealed birth certificate to get your birth parents names, and those links can help you. It's relevant to Illinois.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyBoyDC10AA
I got it all thank you so much, I can't reply to your private message (I guess being new I am only allowed 1 a day) but I know what I need to do and how to start the process. The Cradle is closed right now (not sure why but they will be back opened Monday) which is fine it gives me time to figure out a few things. As to contact with my Father that is not going to happen, I flushed him out of my life over 20 years ago and have not had contact with him since and prefer to keep it that way. No He had a sister (my Aunt) but sadly she passed away several years ago. And the last one that would have knowledge of my adoption also passed away last year.
It's a shame Cradle won't help you. Give time for the birth certificate to get to you. Then with the names and other details on the birth certificate, plus the link for adoptees given to you by Roselvr, you may be on your way to the answers.
Well I can stop looking, I found my birth mother (passed away) and I have 2 sisters and a brother
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thank you so much, I can't reply to your private message (I guess being new I am only allowed 1 a day) but I know what I need to do and how to start the process. The Cradle is closed right now (not sure why but they will be back opened Monday) which is fine it gives me time to figure out a few things. As to contact with my Father that is not going to happen, I flushed him out of my life over 20 years ago and have not had contact with him since and prefer to keep it that way. No He had a sister (my Aunt) but sadly she passed away several years ago. And the last one that would have knowledge of my adoption also passed away last year.
I am found
