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Old 11-15-2015, 07:30 PM
 
Location: Minneapolis, MB
8 posts, read 4,645 times
Reputation: 27

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Hi Everyone,

I'm looking for my half brother, and I have very little information for my search. I've read some posts on this forum, & it seems someone may be able to provide some expert advice.

Note - I have read the rules... I DO mention some names in my post, but all confirmed names belong to deceased family members.

ANSWERS TO THE OBVIOUS QUESTIONS

In an attempt to answer what seem to be the obvious questions, I'll start with a bit of background.
No - my parents were never married. I am a bonafide love child. Born in Minneapolis in 1976.
Yes - my father is deceased so he can't offer any help.
No- none of his family members can offer any help either.

BACKGROUND STORY FOR THOSE W/ MORE QUESTIONS

I grew up without my dad in my life. He & my mom spilt up when I was 2. There were various touch points throughout my life, but not many. My dad was much older than my mom (when I was born she was 21, he was 35). In addition he was black, she was white, her parents did not approve of pre-marital sex, & interracial relationships were definitely out of the question. My parents had an explosive relationship, so my dad wasn't an appropriate topic of conversation with my mom or her family.
Before you ask - Yes. I had a wonderful childhood filled with love, good role models, my Grandparents helped raise me, and if there was ever any real racism in their hearts, my presence in their lives extinguished it quickly. My Grandfather passed away recently & at the end of his life, he still called me his princess. I never went without anything... Except for my dad.

At 29, I decided that I wanted to start a relationship with my dad. Because I couldn't talk to my mom freely about it, I went through her address book in the middle of the night on a visit home. I didn't find my dad, but I did find my paternal Grandmother, Elizabeth McEwen. It was the next day, when I snuck over to her house in South Minneapolis, that I discovered I was too late. My dad had been buried for 6 years. I kept in contact with my Grandma, but she was old, hard of hearing, & her memory had seen better days. My dad was one of 9 children. 5 are still living. I have contact with one of his brothers, and recently had contact with a second. The family is not very close & neither of my uncles can offer any information.
That's the whole back story.

KNOWN INFO ABOUT MY BROTHER

Recently, my mom & I were talking. She told me that my dad had a son. She thinks he was a "bit" older than me, but she was pretty vague about it. I have a suspicion that the pregnancies may have overlapped.
She told me everything that she could remember (it's been almost 40 years) My mom thinks my 1/2 brither's name is Bobby Jr. He would have been born sometime between 1973 & 1976. My dad went by Bobby, but his name was actually Obie Irvin. So depending on my mom's interpretation, he could be Bobby Jr. or Obie Jr. My dad wasn't married to his mother either, so I don't have a definite last name. It seems logical that a woman who would name her son "Jr." would also give that baby his fathers last name. Doesn't it?

Any way, I'd appreciate any advice on how to find him.
Another idea that's come to mind is if I could find someone who
Knew my dad well, they might be able to point me in the right direction, so I'll take advice on finding any leads as well.

Thanks in advance to those that can help!
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Old 11-16-2015, 08:08 AM
 
10,804 posts, read 14,776,358 times
Reputation: 5066
DNA testing can help you through Ancestry or 23andme.
You can begin this testing and at the same time pursue other efforts.

You mention your paternal grandmother. That is on your Father's side. Is she still alive and well?
Her birth range should be about the early 1930's or in her mid 80's which is not that old any more.

You have talked to only two of your father's 8 siblings. Have you seen the obituary of the deceased ones and tried to contact the ones that are still living?

Who do you think named your step brother and do you think your father kept in touch with the mother and child that was possibly named after him?

DNA can match you with people who may be related to the mother or any cousins, etc. It's $99 (I think) on Ancestry and I know of several people who have found their step siblings and parents using it.
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Old 11-16-2015, 05:28 PM
 
Location: Minneapolis, MB
8 posts, read 4,645 times
Reputation: 27
Thanks for the DNA advice. I've been on Ancestry for over a year & have had no luck looking through records. My Grandmother - yes, she was my dad's mom. But she has passed.
Yes I've only been in contact with 2 of the siblings, but there are only 5 living. So there are 3 who could be contacted, but the two nice talked to were the closest to my dad. And they didn't even know that he had a son.

I don't think my dad kept in touch with either of them. When my dad passed away, his family worked hard to find us. They didn't have any luck.

But thank you for the ancestry tip - I'll try that
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