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Old 06-20-2008, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin
11 posts, read 38,247 times
Reputation: 10

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Unfortunately, we have little information to go on. My husband's bio mother will not tell us his bio father's name, or any information. Here is the information we have been able to collect on our own thus far:

His bio mother's maiden name is Patricia Saye. She is caucasion. His unknown father is African American. They had some type of relationship in 1974, because my husband was born on January 15th, 1975 at Cook County General Hospital in Chicago, Illinois. I should note that they lived in Chicago at the time, relocating to Wisconsin between 1976 and 1979. By this time, his mother was already married to a man who IS NOT his bio father, Gospodin Peter Gospodinoff, but is listed on his birth certificate as such. At the time my husband was born, his mother already had four older children. None of them know the identity of my husband's bio father; they were too young to remember. She had also previously been married to another man who is the bio father of his older siblings. He also is not my husband's father.

We have tried every means possible to get her to reveal his identity. We've spoken to countless relatives of his bio mother, including her parents, sisters and brother, cousins, aunt, etc. No one has had any information, and she stubbornly refuses to give us his name. At one point, she had even lied and told us that his father is his aunt's husband. We quickly eliminated that possibility. We are even in talks with a lawyer to persue a civil suit against the bio mother. It is important that we be able to access family medical records, because all three of our children were born with serious chronic illnesses.

My husband is a very loving and caring man. I've been with him for eighteen years now, since we were 14. He deserves to have the opportunity to get to know his father. He grew up in a horribly abusive home, then was placed in foster care and group homes until we were 18. Two of his older sisters and his younger brother were adopted by a family that was also supposed to adopt him, but refused because he is black. His bio mother does not agree that the information is "vital" to him, but it is. He managed to pull himself out of a life like that, and has been a good father and husband. It would be nice for him to know if he has any "normal" family members out there.

I'm not new to finding missing relatives. My mom had two brothers and a sister who were given up for adoption in the 1950's, and I was able to locate all three of them. She was able to have a relationship with them before she died. I am completely clueless on how to proceed with the info we have. My husband and I would be greatly appreciative of any help.
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