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Old 06-20-2010, 02:40 AM
 
Location: 23.7 million to 162 million miles North of Venus
23,013 posts, read 12,202,396 times
Reputation: 10266

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Quote:
Originally Posted by motherofthree View Post
I just went through the exact same thing with my grandmother (in-law). My grandmother is 92, home bound, legally blind and has dementia. One day out of the blue her daughter (my husband's Aunt) called and said she was done taking care of her and she was leaving town. Shocked, my husband and I went to her home in another state to take over.

We found out the daughter bled her mother dry (over $150k in savings gone) and racked up a $5k credit card in her name. I used to do her taxes a few years ago so I knew ho much she had in savings. Well we knew Grandma didn't make the charges because she's been home bound for years. She couldn't sign a credit card receipt unless the receipt was a legal size sheet of paper.

My husband immediately got Power of Attorney. We then pulled her credit reports to make sure there wasn't anything else. Then we filed a police report so we could put a credit freeze on all the credit bureaus. You need a police report to do it but you don't have to file charges.

My husband called Bank of America to explain what happened and that not only did she not make these charges she didn't have any money left and couldn't pay it. Grandma has only social security income - which credit card companies can't garnish. They didn't care. They said they would go after the daughter only if we pressed charges but we said no because it would upset Grandma. She has no idea the daughter abandoned her and stole her money.

Grandma started getting letters from a law firm to collect the debt. I followed this website It is Illegal for Debt Collectors to on handling the collection letter. I didn't hire him I just followed the advise on the website. All I kept thinking was what are they going to do. Are they going to drag a 92 yr old, blind, and crippled woman into court for $5k knowing she has no income to pay. This is the letter that needs to be sent: Cease Communications Letter to a Debt Collector

It's been over a year now and I haven't heard anything else from law firm or BOA since I sent my certified letter. Grandma is now bed bound in a nursing home on Medicaid.

Don't pay it and follow the website. Good Luck.
It sounds like you and your husband did everything the way it should have been done.

The OP should do similar. Though I wouldn't recommend that the OP send the C&D unless the OP takes the same steps. If the OP doesn't take all of the steps that you had, in filing the police report, freezing/fraud alerts on the reports, etc., then there is probably a greater chance that the collector will sue. If those things aren't done then the collector may think that the OP's father is lying, had gotten the card for himself and let the son use it, had gotten the card for his son to use, had forgotten that he had gotten the card and had allowed the son to use it, etc., etc., etc.

Doing those things won't always stop a collector from suing, if that's what they have in mind to do, but it will go a long way to prove to the collector, and to the judge, that the OP's father seriously considered the account in question had been fraudulent obtained.
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:52 AM
 
57 posts, read 161,925 times
Reputation: 45
I managed to talk to my brother last week. He wouldn't admit to anything but did take a copy of the dunning letter and said he would contact the collection agency. As of today, I don't think he did anything but I'm not totally sure.

In any case, I have to be proactive and, in furtherance on my objective, plan to respond to the dunning letter. The 30 days is nearly up, so I can't wait for my brother to tell me if he's done anything. Since I don't have legal guardianship over my father's affairs, will the collection agency recognize the response I plan to draft on my father's behalf as legal? As I stated earlier, my father is not of sound mind or body. Or should my mother sign off on the letter?

I'd like to get the ball rolling on obtaining either limited power of atorney or legal guardianship, whichever is quicker. Once I do that, I plan to file a police report. I hope this will get the collection agency off my father's back once and for all.
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Old 06-29-2010, 01:45 PM
 
3,500 posts, read 6,147,707 times
Reputation: 10028
^^^ You need to get moving NOW to get youself set up as your father's legal representative. It looks like you've wasted a lot of time in the last few weeks. Seriously, talk to a lawyer TODAY.

And why did you even bother to talk to your brother about this? Of course he wasn't going to admit to anything. And I've got $5 that says he won't do anything about it. Another waste of time.
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:04 PM
 
Location: 23.7 million to 162 million miles North of Venus
23,013 posts, read 12,202,396 times
Reputation: 10266
Anything sent to a collector shouldn't be signed anyway.

Simply type his name as his signature and send the validation request by certified mail return receipt.
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:08 PM
 
10,952 posts, read 6,745,235 times
Reputation: 17903
This situation is about to spin out of control. Why don't you have power of attorney for your father if he is not of sound mind? That's the first thing that needs to get resolved. If he's truly out of it you can get a conservatorship. It will cost some money but you will be able to take care of things easily. My mother gave my brother, me and her cousin power of attorney a few years ago. She passed away recently but had to go on Medicaid and into assisted living for a few months beforehand. That Power of Attorney came in VERY handy.

skaternum is right. Talk to an attorney TODAY. Take a WRITTEN list of all issues for the attorney's file. Discuss each issue and tackle them all immediately. Why you're trusting your brother, who thinks you're a sucker for giving him the letter to handle, is beyond comprehension. If you brother would do this, he would try to get POA (Power of Attorney) as well. I'm surprised he hasn't already.

Good Luck and stay on this. It isn't that difficult. A little time-consuming, but well worth the effort.
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Old 06-29-2010, 05:16 PM
 
10,952 posts, read 6,745,235 times
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This is very helpful explaining what is a conservatorship, what is a guardianship, and how it all works. Very informative.

If your mother is of sound mind, she can give you power of attorney over her affairs if she wishes, but it sounds like your father needs a conservator (that would be you). Many elderly people do not understand the intricacies of modern life and cannot handle it. I experienced this with my mother and she "let go" and allowed us to do things for her (finally). She had been extremely independent and unwilling to let go, but once she did, she was very relieved.
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:34 PM
 
57 posts, read 161,925 times
Reputation: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by skaternum View Post
^^^ You need to get moving NOW to get youself set up as your father's legal representative. It looks like you've wasted a lot of time in the last few weeks. Seriously, talk to a lawyer TODAY.

And why did you even bother to talk to your brother about this? Of course he wasn't going to admit to anything. And I've got $5 that says he won't do anything about it. Another waste of time.
Well I have a life outside of being a caregiver. For example, just spent the last week on business travel across the country. Didn't want to go but had to.

You owe me $5. My brother told me this evening that he's been trying to settle with CitiBank and the subsequent owners of the account for more than a year. That my not be an admission, but it's good enough for me.
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:39 PM
 
57 posts, read 161,925 times
Reputation: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by berdee View Post
Anything sent to a collector shouldn't be signed anyway.

Simply type his name as his signature and send the validation request by certified mail return receipt.
Your idea is interesting and can possibly give me the time I need to get my father's affairs in order before the collection agency comes charging at him.

I'd appreciate it if you can explain your theory for not signing the response and typing my father's name, even though his traumatic brain injury precludes him from having the capacity to make decisions for himself.
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:51 PM
 
57 posts, read 161,925 times
Reputation: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner View Post
Why don't you have power of attorney for your father if he is not of sound mind? That's the first thing that needs to get resolved.

skaternum is right. Talk to an attorney TODAY. Take a WRITTEN list of all issues for the attorney's file. Discuss each issue and tackle them all immediately.
My father's stroke was sudden and unexpected. For a long time, we lived in denial, expecting him to recover. So obtaining power of attorney would be an admission that recovery was not a possiblity.

I'm going to my state's legal aid bureau tomorrow to obtain a list of recommended attorneys.
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:53 PM
 
57 posts, read 161,925 times
Reputation: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner View Post
This is very helpful explaining what is a conservatorship, what is a guardianship, and how it all works. Very informative.

If your mother is of sound mind, she can give you power of attorney over her affairs if she wishes, but it sounds like your father needs a conservator (that would be you). Many elderly people do not understand the intricacies of modern life and cannot handle it. I experienced this with my mother and she "let go" and allowed us to do things for her (finally). She had been extremely independent and unwilling to let go, but once she did, she was very relieved.
Hey thanks for the link. From the info provided, I was able to find the information I needed on my state's web site, including the forms I need to fill out.
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