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a few months ago we joined a program with TCA (Take charge america) it's one of those cccs type places that help you with paying off your debts. Personally I would have preferred to do it on my own the Dave Ramsey way, but my wife wouldn't agree to it, and this was the next best thing. Actually she was entertaining the thought of bankruptcy but I told her we need to at least try this before we consider bankruptcy.
Well, we've been doing it for 3 months and the problem is that giving them the payment is a huge chunk of money. Basically we have 2 big payments: mortgage and TCA. After those two come out, there literally is almost nothing left for bills, food and transportation. We're down to one car and I commute 17 miles to work, and sharing a car is a huge pain (she takes the kids to school and also needs the car for part time work) Public transportation here in Phoenix is a joke (takes almost 2 hrs for my commute to work, it's that INSANE). I do take the bus sometimes, but it is definitelly not a long term solution.
Prices have gone up on considerably for just about everything, and anybody who says there's no inflation is full of hot air.
I did get a modest 3% raise, but it really makes almost no difference at all. The needs are starting to pile up, our AC/Heat pumps need maintenance, house needs work, car needs work..etc
The worst part is that I'm the only one in the family that has health insurance. My wife and kids have no coverage (My work pays for mine, but it would cost over $800/month to add a plan that includes the rest of my family (Yup, it's like $400+ per paycheck) I make around 64K. Wife makes very little, she mainly helps her brother's home based business) Mortgage is $1250 so it's not insane. Debts add up to around 1200/month or so if I include the school loan. The rest is bills, and honestly there's not much left after debts are paid.
We have 3 kids ages 5-10 so no, she can't really work fulltime yet.
I don't really know what we can do, but I'm getting tired of this TCA ****. They got some of the banks to lower the interest rates, but some came back that they want a bigger payment, so slowly our monthly payment ballooned up to where, I'm not so sure we're really saving a whole lot.
My health is really starting to go down the tubes, but I have to use my health insurance sparingly because I can't even pay the damned copays.
what a stupid life.
does this TCA thing cost any money? i personally don't believe in those services. i don't see why it can't be done by yourself. unless you wouldn't do it otherwise.
if you're looking for advice you'd have to post your scenario though...
yeah they charge something like $32 a month which is supposedly optional, but the part about doing it myself is simply not true. I do give them this much, they have dealt with the credit companies and got them all to lower the interest rates to I believe less than 9%. Some people say that anybody can do that. I think that's just not true anymore. My wife has been trying to convince the cc companies to lower our interest rates (most of them were over 24%) and none of them would budge one bit. They're that nasty, because they know that we're simply stuck. We can't just dump them and get a lower interest somewhere else.
There's really a lot going on for me to really be able to give a clear picture of our finances, but the main thing is: Credit cards about $45K that had interest rates ranging from 14% to 30%, most of them in the higher end. Currently our payment with them is somewhere around $860
Student loan (about $25 K left I believe) we pay $230 for that.
I think there might be a couple of credit cards that they don't manage for us, so there's more that goes to credit cards.
mortgage 1280
some medical bills,
car loan =175/month (and need another car asap, mine died)
there are plenty of costs associated with kids, school, pets (yeah stupid me, I shoulda followed my gut instinct and not gotten another dog when old one died, but wife and kids really wanted it) and I keep chickens in my backyard, but they do provide eggs so they at least give something back. House always needs some maintenance, Electricity here in Phoenix is sky high especially in the summer with AC running, we're talking $400+/month. AC is old and needs maintenance. you get the picture. a bucket with a million holes.
We do NOT eat out very often, not even once a month, we're super frugal in many ways. Our cellphones end up costing too much, but we have no landline and she likes to talk. Plus we end up with international charges because we have family all over the world.
yeah we're basically screwed, but we keep trying to survive anyway.
the kids aren't in school long enough for her to work. the stupid local public school canceled their full day kindergarten class and so the kids go in at 8, then the youngest one needs to be taken out at 10:45, then the others come home at 3. so basically no, you can't get a job working one hr per day. but she works week-ends a lot of times. Still it doesn't amount to a whole lot, maybe 400-500/month.
we have cable and no, that's not going to be canceled, it's just not going to happen. If it was for me I'd throw the damned TV out the window, but it's her only entertainment really and she'd probably throw a fit. And she does every once in a while still rent netflix movies. I wish she would just do one. Cable I believe is something like $45/month or less.
The Cellphone bills are pretty high though... and that's not going to change either there's no way I'm going to be able to convince her to get one of those prepaid phones and use it only for emergencies. she likes to yap for hours. On the other hand, I'm hearing impaired, and the cellphones are really vital to us being to communicate because we can text each other.
older daughter also has a cellphone on the same plan, but I don't believe she uses it much.
We do NOT eat out very often, not even once a month, we're super frugal in many ways. Our cellphones end up costing too much, but we have no landline and she likes to talk. Plus we end up with international charges because we have family all over the world. yeah we're basically screwed, but we keep trying to survive anyway.
we have cable and no, that's not going to be canceled, it's just not going to happen. If it was for me I'd throw the damned TV out the window, but it's her only entertainment really and she'd probably throw a fit. And she does every once in a while still rent netflix movies. I wish she would just do one. Cable I believe is something like $45/month or less.
The Cellphone bills are pretty high though... and that's not going to change either there's no way I'm going to be able to convince her to get one of those prepaid phones and use it only for emergencies. she likes to yap for hours. On the other hand, I'm hearing impaired, and the cellphones are really vital to us being to communicate because we can text each other.
older daughter also has a cellphone on the same plan, but I don't believe she uses it much.
Sounds like you aren't serious about saving money based on what you're telling us. I went a year without cable, picking up 5 channels with rabbit ears, and I still found stuff to watch. People are watching TV on the internet more and more, assuming you also have internet. If your wife doesn't understand the need to cancel her phone and cable, then you need to sit her down and total up the bills and let her know that is a MUST unless she can get a part time job. The international calling while you are barely scraping by is just stupid, try emailing them. You can always send pictures to them that way.
I'm sorry to say this greendesert and I'm not saying this to be mean or spiteful or anything, but it sounds like your wife needs to work with you a little bit more. It also sounds like you're either a little afraid of her or you're too willing to bend over backwards for her. My husband and I have a hard time saying no to each other, because we like to please each other and we want to make each other happy... so I know how easy it is to give too much to the one you love, but when it comes to money and a family's financial stability - something has to be done. Financial problems are the leading cause of divorce and marital problems.
Have you met with a financial advisor or certified financial planner? If you are a member of a credit union you might be able to meet with one for free. I don't know about regular banks, for the past 15 years my husband and I have only ever had accounts at community credit unions, but banks might offer those same services, I don't know. Your company might also provide a financial planning benefit - my husbands does. Check around and find some help. Preferably FREE help. It's out there you just have to seek it out. If you have connections to a college or university you might be able to find something there.
A third-person neutral party like a CFP can come into the situation and can talk some sense into your wife so it won't look like it's you who are the "bad guy". She either needs to work, or she needs to cut out expenses more than she currently is.
This means:
- no cable tv
- cut down cell phone expenses (might mean no data plan (just cell service with no extra features) or less expensive phone, etc.)
- you take the car to work and the kids ride the bus to school (this limits opportunities for her to shop while you're at work)
- no salon hair appointments, getting nails done, pedicures, etc.
- no netflix (you can check out movies, tv shows, music CD's, etc for free from the public library)
- shopping for clothes at thrift stores
- stop buying junk food - you'd be surprised how expensive soda is. Just soda alone can cost families 20 to 30 bucks a month or more. Add chips, candy, ice cream, etc. to all that and you have a food bill that's outrageous. Often people who are overweight are also malnourished because they are filling up with junk. Anyway, you can rework your food spending so that you buy nutrient-dense food that is healthier for your family and save money at the same time.
- stop buying junk - we have kids. We know about all that junk that creeps in. Fundraiser junk. Birthday party junk. Sports junk. Yesterday our oldest son and I went to buy cleats (shoes) and spent $100. Sports are expensive. If your kids play sports, limit them to one sport rather than letting them play everything. I know it seems unfair, but until your money problems are on the mend - or mended - the whole family needs to buckle-down, not just mom and dad, unfortunately. You can also try to find sports and activities that are less costly. My husband and I have found that going through local community sports rather than school-affiliated sports is often less expensive and the atmosphere is more fun and less competitive.
- No smoking, no drinking. These costs add up. And not just healthwise.
- check out skype. I have never used it but have friends who do. They say it saves them tons of money when they call family who live overseas. Might help with your cell phone expenses.
- Have you thought about installing solar panels for electricity? Some people I know who have done this (in not-sunny Oregon) make so much electricity that they end up selling some of it back to the utility company. There are also rebates they received and tax credits. You might want to check into it.
- if you can figure out a way to pay cash for an older used car rather than getting a loan to buy a car - do that. It's always better to have a car that's paid-for.
- And really your wife should be working. If you didn't have the huge debt then it would make sense for her to be home with the kids awkward school schedules and all, but because of the financial problems it doesn't make sense for her to not work. Find a babysitter (friend, family, through the dept. of human services, someone you trust) who can pick up the youngest and babysit until you or your wife gets home. A few hours a day. Or really look to see if there are after school care options available. Call the office at your kids school - sometimes they have options right thereat the school or there are day cares that bus kids from school to the day care. See what other parents are doing, talk to them for more ideas.
Last idea: yoga. Yoga has been great for me because it helps me focus and relaxes my mind, plus it makes my body feel great. Yoga may not be your thing, but I'd suggest finding something that has the same effect for you. You mentioned health issues... good food, sleep, and exercise can only help. Maybe swimming is your thing. Our oldest son says swimming laps relaxes him. My husband likes walking, so for his lunch break everyday he walks for 45 minutes. The great thing about yoga and walking is that they are free (if you have a yoga dvd that you can follow. ). For swimming our son uses a punch card that lasts for a little over one month.
Anyway - good luck with everything. It's so easy to feel overwhelmed, and that stress is not your friend. It's also so much easier to create money problems than it is to fix them. Not as much fun, either!
I have to disagree with no haircuts. Women can`t cut their own hair. As far as his wife working, it may not make that much of a difference because she will have to pay someone to watch her kids. It might not be worth it. I don`t see how he is going to get solar panels if he can`t afford anything now..
Greendesert, have you thought of getting a second job for awhile? A lot of people are having to do this right now.
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She either needs to work, or she needs to cut out expenses more than she currently is.
