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Sorry, I couldn't handle being handed an "allowance" as if I were a child.
My money is mine and my spouse's is my spouse's...we're both adults.
A household is a single economic unit so treating income and spending jointly makes a lot of sense, its a lot easier too. Anyhow, getting an allowance is just budgeting, there is nothing child-like about a budget.
Also, just because one person handles the finance doesn't mean the other should put their hand in the sand. Anyhow, I don't have to worry about this sort of thing, I control all the finances and at worst my wife will make an unauthorized (i.e., not budgeted) charge on her credit card.
A household is a single economic unit so treating income and spending jointly makes a lot of sense, its a lot easier too.
Heck yes! If not, I'd be spending way too much time trying to figure everything out. I do the finances and I am pretty good but I'd rather watch a movie or play video games!
When we married in 1983, there was never a question -- two incomes, one pot. We held everything jointly, and I did the finances. It was how we both grew up. Our parents never fought about money, and neither do we.
His friends who all cash their paychecks and take what they want off the top and give the rest to the wife thought he was henpecked. One day when he was out with the boys after work, he bought a round of drinks and pulled out a credit card to pay. Buddies thought that was a RIOT!!! Man not allowed to carry cash!!! She's got you whipped!!!
Then he said I got three credit cards in my wallet with credit limits higher that what we earn in a YEAR..... who needs cash!
THAT shut them up. All their credit ratings were so sunk, they couldn't get cards....
In my house, I am in charge of all financial transactions. My soon to be babies momma gets x amount of money every month for casual spending. If she wants something outside of that, fine, I just need to know about it to see if it fits the budget.
It just makes more sense for one person to be CEO and COO of a household, less screw ups.
His friends who all cash their paychecks and take what they want off the top and give the rest to the wife thought he was henpecked. One day when he was out with the boys after work, he bought a round of drinks and pulled out a credit card to pay. Buddies thought that was a RIOT!!! Man not allowed to carry cash!!! She's got you whipped!!!
Then he said I got three credit cards in my wallet with credit limits higher that what we earn in a YEAR..... who needs cash!
THAT shut them up. All their credit ratings were so sunk, they couldn't get cards....
Love this story Tallysmom!
My hubby's credit is getting better so he's able to get the credit cards now. Friends would ask how come he didn't carry cash and probably thought I had something to do with it.
Well, I guess so because we were able to buy a house and travel with those reward points from the credit cards. Those friends can't get credit cards. Haters!
And people laughed when my DH and I got a prenup and maintained separate finances after marriage. Never had any issues and enjoyed the last laugh when many of our friends complained about what a <spendthrift / tightwad / insert nasty adjective> their spouse was with money.
And people laughed when my DH and I got a prenup and maintained separate finances after marriage. Never had any issues and enjoyed the last laugh when many of our friends complained about what a <spendthrift / tightwad / insert nasty adjective> their spouse was with money.
My spouse and I have never argued about money (housework - that's another story). I guess this is somewhat unusual. But we're both pretty conservative/careful with money.
All our income goes into one pot and we have joint checking and charge accounts to spend as we see fit. We handle finances jointly - basically whoever has the time, pays the bills and communicates it to the other person. If someone wants to make a bigger purchase (e.g. a new TV), we'll discuss it beforehand. I can't even imagine either of us giving the other an allowance, dictating how it could be spent, or lying about money. We just have this mutual understanding. But neither one of us is the type of person who'd blow thousands on gadget/clothes shopping sprees.
I can't even imagine either of us giving the other an allowance, dictating how it could be spent, or lying about money. We just have this mutual understanding. But neither one of us is the type of person who'd blow thousands on gadget/clothes shopping sprees.
A little bit of background on the allowance thing. We both have "allowances" or "fun money" or anything other cool name you'd like to insert here. That money is for whatever that person wants (electronic gadgets, movies, fast food, anything else not considered a need). No judging, no questioning about that money. Whatever he or she wants to spend the money on has to be ok with the other person and vice versa. If we didn't give each other "allowances", it would be too much to try to figure the budget and stay out of the red. At least that's the way the hubby and I do it. Just makes life a little less stressful.
DH does not have a "healthy" relationship with money. Never has in fact. When I inherited a substantial real estate holding, he was a bit ticked that I wouldn't put his name on the deed. He saw it as a "relationship" issue instead of the tax and business issue it really was. When a professional explained it to him, he finally hushed up.
At the beginning of our dating I knew our attitudes towards money were very different. I knew he was in debt after a divorce and 3 kids to pay child support to as well as alimony. One day he showed up with a very expensive calculator announcing he was going to get really serious about a budget. It just didn't make sense.
The first 2 years of our marriage, we had separate checking accounts as well as 1 shared account for paying household expenses. We cut up his cc's and determined to get him out of debt.
Over the years, I took over everything and he was extremely relieved. He had no qualms about calling me to see if a certain purchase could be made. It wasn't his getting permission, rather it was finding out from me where we stood financially. He never knew what the mortgage or regular bills were and doesn't seem to care.
In 1994 I was in the hospital for 4 months and home in recovery in wheel chair for more than a year. He had no idea how to handle our finances, where anything was, what was in the budget, etc. It took forever for me to straighten things out. It reminded me of the flip side of how my parents handled the finances during their marriage. Father made all decisions, mother had to ask permission, get allowance. I knew I never wanted to live like that but it doesn't seem to bother my husband. Frankly he is happy to be out of the loop.
I have tried to get him involved and informed but his eyes glaze over just like mine do when he talks about his engineering career. It worries me if I die first but our son has a good grip on the situation and I think he would help DH out.
Too many times finances in a marriage represent control and power issues. If partners could look at it as who has the better understanding and better skills this might not be so. While I Manage the money, all decisions are made mutually.
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