Anyone Else Embarassed by Their Salary? (pay, rates, credit, savings) - debt, loans, credit cards, banks, insurance... - City-Data Forum

Miss Crabcakes · 03-31-2011, 08:49 AM

Long story short, I was hit bad by the economy, lost my highest paid job and the house I had under contract. Took 9 months to secure a temp job but 18 months total before I was offered a permanent position but making $15k less than before. I am grateful for the job and its grown on me and it also gives me the opp to build a new skill; proposal writing and coordination which I believe could pay more money down the line, so may strategy is to stick with it.

But with life in general is getting so much more expensive, its been hard at times. My biggest fear/anxiety at the moment is that at 33, with a master's degree and savings I've been building since high school, I still can't afford to buy a home, hang out with friends more than once a month and when me and the hubs does get preggers (the goal is this year), we may become completely broke. We do fine but I hate that single girlfriends of mine are doing so much better than I am married and after my 10 years post-college experience and education, this is the best I've done; as far as I have gotten. I sit home every weekend, because of lack of money and it looks like I'll have to cancel a night out with the girls tomorrow because of gas prices (I'm at $45-50 a week now).

Can anyone relate? I am soo thankful to have a job but I feel soooo behind in life financially and after all the planning I'd done to prevent that, its just soooo frustrating!

Charles · 03-31-2011, 08:54 AM

You shoulda married a richer guy.

OK, so you got a job, husband has a job, you're going to have kids, you have a big future in front of you.

Also, a lot of people think it is still a good idea to be renting and not buying even though interest rates are at historical lows.

las vegas drunk · 03-31-2011, 08:55 AM

Try being 36 years old and making $9.50 an hour.

I hope that made you feel better.

Miss Crabcakes · 03-31-2011, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charles

You shoulda married a richer guy.

Yeah. I married for love and studied something I thought I'd enjoy in college (mass comm). Boy, would I do things differently. Namely study something for the money! I did not think things would be this way.

manderly6 · 03-31-2011, 08:59 AM

How are you going to afford a baby if you can't even afford to go out more than once a month?

Miss Crabcakes · 03-31-2011, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manderly6

How are you going to afford a baby if you can't even afford to go out more than once a month?

Well, I try to only spend on what is neccesary and I don't consider movies, dinners or clubbing necessary. I have enough for $300 monthly in childcare and should be ok with food. I consider those things essential. Fancy dinners with pricey drinks, I can do without.

jkcoop · 03-31-2011, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes

We do fine but I hate that single girlfriends of mine are doing so much better than I am married and after my 10 years post-college experience and education, this is the best I've done; as far as I have gotten.

How do you know that they are doing much better than you - do you all discuss how much money you make, etc? Or is it what you perceive as they are doing better than you because they can go out more often, drive certain cars, etc?

You really can't compare yourself that way because most likely you really don't know their TRUE situation. They may be heavily in debt, living off of credit cards, etc.

I know when my DH lost his job, the biggest thing we got out of it was learning we could live on so much less. We cut things back to the bone - things that most people think are must haves, but really aren't.

As as a result, now that he is working again, we haven't added all those things back. It was an eye opening experience for sure. You really have to just appreciate the small things along the way, and not compare you situation with others.

I would also rethink the getting pregnant. If you are that tight on money and feeling that low about not being able to do anything - it will be 10x worse once you have a child. You think you don't spend time with your single friends now.....most likely your entire friendships will change once you are the one with a baby.

peppermint · 03-31-2011, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes

Well, I try to only spend on what is neccesary and I don't consider movies, dinners or clubbing necessary. I have enough for $300 monthly in childcare and should be ok with food. I consider those things essential. Fancy dinners with pricey drinks, I can do without.

I agree. Also, with babies, you can breast feed (free!) and use cloth diapers. My best friend just had her first (at 32), and she uses a brand called Thirsties, which are super-easy, she says. There are ways to keep costs low with kids. You don't have to buy all the stupid toys out there.

Back to your OP, my husband makes enough money to support both of us so I don't work, but I never thought that I wouldn't work. I have my masters too, and my last job was as a teacher making $14,000/year. Ridiculous! I know what you mean about being ashamed of your paycheck. You're doing the right thing though - working hard and keeping your head up.

jkcoop · 03-31-2011, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peppermint

I agree. Also, with babies, you can breast feed (free!) and use cloth diapers. My best friend just had her first (at 32), and she uses a brand called Thirsties, which are super-easy, she says. There are ways to keep costs low with kids. You don't have to buy all the stupid toys out there.

That's true - way back when, I used cloth. It was a huge thing to buy a disposable diaper (we would if we were traveling). I also breast fed and I made my own baby food. I don't think I ever bought a jar of baby food.

I think they get more expensive the older they get though! Ours is 17 now.

Miss Crabcakes · 03-31-2011, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jkcoop

How do you know that they are doing much better than you - do you all discuss how much money you make, etc? Or is it what you perceive as they are doing better than you because they can go out more often, drive certain cars, etc?

You really can't compare yourself that way because most likely you really don't know their TRUE situation. They may be heavily in debt, living off of credit cards, etc.

Its a little of both. But I know I shouldn't compare myself to others buts its so hard not to.

I think most of us when we were younger picture ourselves financially comfortable by age 30 and ready for a house and kids. I thought if I went to school, got the degrees, saved up planned smartly, I surely would. Surprise, not there yet.