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Old 03-29-2012, 11:35 AM
 
Location: SW Missouri
14,797 posts, read 17,229,096 times
Reputation: 18856
Quote:
Originally Posted by PugDaddyNJ View Post
For the first time in my life, here I am .... No job, No Income, health problems, lots of medical expenses, prescription drug costs, and no
hope for the future. Having now to file Bankruptcy, will Lose my Car,
which means No car - No way to even get to a job if I were offered one.

I don't think I've ever felt so horrible in my life. I woke up this morning
and my only thought was, "I just want to die"......

I'm broken, devastated, sad, depressed and don't know how to begin
putting my life back together.
Many people get depressed and hopeless when there is a lot of stress going on. Unfortunately, focusing on what you DON'T HAVE will not help you. The first thing you need to do is focus on what you do have, be thankful and appreciative and put together a plan of action.

Take a few days off from thinking about it. Go someplace, or do something you enjoy. Do something that makes you happy and laugh and feel good.

Then when you are feeling better, put a pen to paper and get your creative juices flowing about how to fix the problem. Think outside of the box.

I don't know about the area where you live. But there are very few places in this country where there are no jobs. Most restaurants always need bus boys or dish washers. Most hotels always need housekeepers. The turn over for these types of positions is huge and nothing is worse than having someone call in sick on a busy day. Go around to restaurants in your area and talk with THE MANAGERS between 2 pm and 4 pm.

The important thing is to keep positive and upbeat and focus on the fact that YOU WILL GET A JOB. Not on your problems. By focusing on your problems you are attracting negative vibration that will continue the cycle. Focus on positive and positive will come to you.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 03-29-2012, 09:47 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
5,306 posts, read 5,017,575 times
Reputation: 14468
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
I never said anything contrary to what you just said. I said the USA is the worst first-world country in which to be in need of economic assistance. It of little solace to the OP to know that you and most other Americans are going to get a paycheck for thousands of dollars on Friday by virtue of living in what is, for you, the best economy on the planet.

Furthermore, the US social evolution has resulted in a nation in which Family is the least reliable of sources that one can turn to in case of need. Most people who are genuinely in need of economic assistance have no close family that they can turn to. The USA probably has the lowest level in the world of traditional family values.

If you will re-read my post, I said absolutely nothing about Mexico and Malaysia except that a person there with medical needs can get access to health care without incurring crushing debt or having to use assets that could otherwise be used for food and shelter.

As for "no competitor", the USA ranks between 10th and 25th on virtually every global comparison of general well-being. Which puts us, at best, in the middle of the pack among modern industrialized nations. The number or persons in northern or western Europe who are in the situation described by the OP is virtually zero. Yet, I personally know at least three people in the USA who are in similar circumstances.

Here is a challenge for you. Shut off or unplug your phone and hide your car keys, and then try to talk, personally, within the next 48 hours, with a human being who is empowered through any agency to address your need for food, shelter or welfare.

You make very good points. We are a country that celebrates success and ignores lack of success. If we paid the needy among us 10% of the attention we do to the richest among us, we would rate much better on those well-being charts.
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Old 03-29-2012, 10:55 PM
 
Location: None of your business
5,467 posts, read 1,612,384 times
Reputation: 1163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl View Post
You make very good points. We are a country that celebrates success and ignores lack of success. If we paid the needy among us 10% of the attention we do to the richest among us, we would rate much better on those well-being charts.
I can't believe people are buying into this. Don't you get it? Taxing the rich is not going to get anyone a windfall!
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Old 03-29-2012, 11:24 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
24,773 posts, read 27,759,250 times
Reputation: 11615
Quote:
Originally Posted by pvande55 View Post
Think of those who love you. I think your kids would rather have a father with no job than none at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by midatlantic12 View Post
Move back in with your parents.
According to his profile, he has no children and seems to be an older gentleman - so it's quite possible his parents are no longer alive and/or able to care for him.

Not sure what to say to the OP, except to keep on truckin'. I've been there (to a lesser degree), and know how awful it feels... but things can and will get better, so you just have to plug through the bad times somehow. Wish I could say or do something to make everything better NOW, but unfortunately nobody here can do that. The economy is getting stronger, though, so you have to keep hope that eventually something will happen on the job front. Took me 8 months to find a new job following my layoff in 2010, and now I have a job I absolutely love!

Please don't give up, and maybe even find a way to enjoy this "time off." I was living near the ocean during my period of unemployment, and would find peace & solace by simply walking my dog (I see you have two) on the beach 2-3x/week... or I'd find some random new part of the city, and just wander with no particular destination in mind. Walking and enjoying nature/sights doesn't cost a penny, ya know?
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Old 03-31-2012, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,688 posts, read 2,110,460 times
Reputation: 1500
Quote:
Originally Posted by gizmo980 View Post
According to his profile, he has no children and seems to be an older gentleman - so it's quite possible his parents are no longer alive and/or able to care for him.

Not sure what to say to the OP, except to keep on truckin'. I've been there (to a lesser degree), and know how awful it feels... but things can and will get better, so you just have to plug through the bad times somehow. Wish I could say or do something to make everything better NOW, but unfortunately nobody here can do that. The economy is getting stronger, though, so you have to keep hope that eventually something will happen on the job front. Took me 8 months to find a new job following my layoff in 2010, and now I have a job I absolutely love!

Please don't give up, and maybe even find a way to enjoy this "time off." I was living near the ocean during my period of unemployment, and would find peace & solace by simply walking my dog (I see you have two) on the beach 2-3x/week... or I'd find some random new part of the city, and just wander with no particular destination in mind. Walking and enjoying nature/sights doesn't cost a penny, ya know?
This is great advice. I, too, was in a bad way as recently as last summer. Our household income has gone from virtually 0 in early 2011 to way more than zero now. I kept my sanity by just doing things I liked and were good for me- e.g., going to the gym on a regular basis, spending time with my dog, visiting the library and checking out books on anything that interested me at the time, and other low/no cost things. In the meantime, I was experiencing more new and exciting forms and manners of rejection than I knew ever existed. But it eventually worked out. I hope you catch your break sooner rather than later.
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Old 04-02-2012, 07:08 AM
 
3,546 posts, read 3,034,632 times
Reputation: 3200
Quote:
Originally Posted by midatlantic12 View Post
Move back in with your parents.
I would second this. If extended family is not here in times like this...then why even keep in touch with them?

This is, in fact, what family is fundamentally for: support in times of need; parents should never stop being parents regardless of how old the child is. Just like adult children should never fail to help their aging parents, regardless of how difficult theyr become; and sibling should be the second line od defense.

A strong extended family can be close to invincible.
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Old 04-02-2012, 07:28 AM
 
Location: Lehigh Valley, PA
2,312 posts, read 1,640,734 times
Reputation: 5016
A windfall?

No one's asking for a windfall.
This country is well on it's way to absolute failure because we do not take care of our own.
We get what we deserve and it's being played out right in front of our eyes everyday.



Quote:
Originally Posted by eRayP View Post
I can't believe people are buying into this. Don't you get it? Taxing the rich is not going to get anyone a windfall!
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Old 04-06-2012, 10:52 PM
 
Location: Galloway, NJ
1,817 posts, read 2,215,361 times
Reputation: 1520
Quote:
Originally Posted by City Guy997S View Post
... Don't let anything get in your way, buy the paper, look for any job...
Paper? Have you looked at the help wanted section in a newspaper recently? Almost no one advertises in the paper anymore.
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Old 04-07-2012, 02:59 AM
 
529 posts, read 320,910 times
Reputation: 857
PugDaddy, I just want to say how sorry I am that you are suffering......I have been both in physical pain and emotional anquish over these past years, to the point that I have considered ending my life more than once. You are in a very tough spot and it's natural to feel afraid and hopeless.....I have been there. I try to get thru it day by day. One thing that has kept me going is my love for my little dog. i think you have a dog, also, right? I always worry about what would happen to him if I were not here to love him, and care for him, and perhaps that thought would help you, too. He is depending on you. many good people on this forum are kind enough to try to help others who are struggling......I have turned to them, too. There has been some good advice posted.
Do you have an attorney handling the bankruptsy case for you? I would imagine they will have told you exactly what the limitations are in your state....I did some checking myself here in Az. when I was afraid i was headed in that direction, and was relieved to discover what i would be allowed to keep. make sure you know the facts. It is not an easy thing you are going thru,and unfortunately many people who have worked hard all their lives are finding themselves in similar/same situation. Guess that's not comforting, though. Keep in touch on this forum if you have no other people in your life right now to reach out to. Take it day by day. Try to research the help available as others have suggested. Please try not to give up. I hope you can continue to make the effort....I know it's not easy. But you've done it so far. Good luck, God bless you, know that others care. You are not alone, even though it may feel that way. it is good you are reaching out online....it says alot about your courage and perserverience and desire to stay alive. Now, pet your pup for me...I'll go give mine a hug!
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Old 04-07-2012, 08:25 AM
 
265 posts, read 198,306 times
Reputation: 902
Pugdaddy, give us and update! You haven't posted since the first post.
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