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...or rather, I should say, my inability to control how much I spent during these outings is what killed my budget this week (gotta take some ownership here)
Event 1 (5 days ago): Friend in town for her birthday
$30: card and gift
$12: paid for my friend to valet her car since she picked me up and drove
$10: alcohol
$60: dinner (yes, $60...and it should have been less--why does it seem I always pay more than my share in big parties??)
Event 2 (2 days ago): Ex boss visits from out of town on business (and it happens to be her bday too)
$10: card/gift
$30: dinner
$15: drink @ bar #1
$15: drink @ bar #2
I also had another friend in town for a wedding one day after Event 1. She wanted to go out for brunch, but thankfully her hubby overslept so we skipped the brunch thing.
I'm going on a cash budget for entertainment/dining out/etc next month. Looking at the above, I spent almost $200 going out just 2 times!! Ideally, that would be my budget for the entire month!
At least now I'm making strides to comb through expenses like the above with a small tooth comb...it's becoming obvious that going out can put a major dent in the budget. I think I need to do better at controlling what I spend...for instance, at Event 1, I should have passed on buying my friend a gift or gotten her a cheaper gift. And probably should have not had any alcohol. I didn't know she was going to be here until 2 days before time.
Event #2: Should have skipped one of the drinks, I guess.
Anyways, I think by writing these things down and using cash for a few months, I'll get a better handle on how much I'm spending on "outings". What REALLY sucks is that I really didn't get much food for what I paid for, and it didn't even taste that great
[RIGHT][/RIGHT]
...or rather, I should say, my inability to control how much I spent...
I'm going on a cash budget for entertainment/dining out/etc next month.
If you really have impulse control issues then maybe you shouldn't go out at all.
As to the amount spent... you could be a homebody for a couple of months
and have the annual expense "averages" sort themselves out.
If you really have impulse control issues then maybe you shouldn't go out at all.
As to the amount spent... you could be a homebody for a couple of months
and have the annual expense "averages" sort themselves out.
Moderation in all things... including moderation.
^I think you're right and it is partially an impulse control issue, but I'm not sure not going out at all would solve the problem...I feel like that's just ignoring it...,
I think partially it's also an issue of not properly budgeting for things; starting next month my "fun" budget is gonna be $200 for the month and that's it period...that's for going out/drinks/gifts/clothes/etc.
If I had done this next month, I would have blown through pretty much my entire fun budget in two days, and that's not good. Because I'm putting a cap on things, that may mean saying 'no' to some fun things...maybe I'm a little worried about having to say no to stuff...
Also, I just moved to a new city 12 weeks ago and I actually thought that I'd be spending less money going out since I don't know many people here. But I've already had 4 people visit me from out of town, 2 more have booked trips here within the next 2 months, and 3 more want to come by the fall...hosting people costs money and I've financial goals this is cutting into. Two coworkers I just befriended wanna start doing weekly happy hours = more money.
I guess I'm having trouble striking a good balance between being social and maintaining a budget. My close cousin and I had lots of convos about this before I left the last city I lived in (we both lived in Atlanta); she was having the same issue. Wanting to save money but finding eating out/socializing/drinks/etc to be hurting the budget. Ironically, she's the same person that invited me out to dinner one night, and when I told her I couldn't go she said "You can't afford some $5 tapas"?!
Lemme also throw a few random questions out here to those reading while I'm thinking about these things:
1. What is the proper etiquette when splitting a large bill with a party and your bill comes out to more than your share? In Event #1 above, my part of the bill was $29. I put in $40. Then the birthday girl (who's doing the tallying) said everyone needed to chip in another $10 each. So that brought me to $50. But then I threw in an extra $10 because I had brought a guest who didn't know the bday girl, and I did not want my guest to have to pay $10 on top of her $20 meal *sigh* I wanted to take the bill from the bday girl and tally it myself cuz obviously someone else didn't pay enough...but I didn't wanna be rude...and this ALWAYS seem to happen in larger parties like this.
2. Do those of you who are on a strict budget often find yourself saying no to social activities that involve spending money? Like dinner, drinks, etc?
You will be FINE because you have a budget and are aware right now that you overspent. You are WAY ahead of other people and can take steps now to be sure your other bills get paid. So good job!
BTW I recently went to the county fair. I thought $50 would do it, but wound up spending $150 (for 2 adults and 1 kid). And that was on free admission day, no cost to enter the fair!
So far as social events and going out. If you can't afford it, just say no!
Also you can go to a restaurant, just drink water, and only order a cheap appetizer or french fries. If they are good friends, you can get away with this!
So far as the ex-boss, if you can't afford to take her out to dinner, then make dinner for her at home. Say you wish you could take her out, but can't afford it. And for a gift, just a hand written card is ok - say nice things about her. I would appreciate something like that a WHOLE lot more than a gift.
It is the thought which counts, not how much you spend. And other people have budgets as well, so they will (should) understand if money is tight.
As for girlfriends if that was the first case... Be honest with her about your finances. If you can't afford valet parking, park down the street and walk. Take her out to dinner, but only as often as you can afford it and only where you can afford it. Maybe it is only every 6 months? Or maybe at a less expensive restaurant and more frequently. Or make dinner for her at home.
Bars are very expensive. A DUI can cost thousands. Best to drink at home and have soda pop/water when going out. Don't place yourself in a position where you or someone else will be driving after drinking. Arrange things ahead of time so you will not have to drive or a non-drinker will drive. Or walk to where you are going / take a taxi.
I had a friend get nabbed for DUI after having only 1 drink! He has paid over $3,000.00 so far for all the fines, alcohol "treatment", etc. That will wreck a budget! (All the more reason to stay home.)
Location: Chapel Hill, NC, formerly NoVA and Phila
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Sometimes I go out to eat with friends and it comes out to an expensive evening, and I think that it totally wasn't worth it, financially, that is. But on the other hand, I do it every once in a blue moon,and I enjoy their company, so it is still worth it to me every once in awhile. To balance it out, my husband and I go out with coupons and eat fairly basically during other weeks. I do pass on some big night events that I don't think will be worth it to me, especially if it's food I don't like, like steakhouses (I'm a vegetarian) or going to bars (I don't drink).
I also suggest or invite people over to do more at home things. For example, one night I had all of my friends over for a fondue party. Even though I spent probably $20 for cheese and wine, it was far cheaper than eating out. My friends brought cut up bread, veggies, dessert, drinks, etc. In other words, we all chipped in, and was much cheaper than if we had all gone out. Another fun, cheap activity is to have a game night at your house or hos-d'oevures. Even ordering take out and watching a movie is cheaper than going to a full-service restaurant and to bars to drink. There are so many fun things you can do at home for cheap to counterbalance the nights you go out and spend a lot of money.
We just moved recently, too. I try to plan my meals in advance of my guests coming. I had a friend and her two kids come for 3 days/2 nights last week. I made homemade mac. and cheese for lunch one day and burritos another day. For dinners I made baked ziti one night and we grilled out another night (burgers/hot dogs, etc.). And I took her and the kids out for ice cream. So overall, I only spent a little bit more than I would have for my own family. Plus the three days were considered entertainment for all of us so just having our friends there, so I didn't spend money finding things for my kids to do.
I find if you stick to your budget most of the time, then the once-in-awhile days that you blow it won't affect it too much.
Location: Chapel Hill, NC, formerly NoVA and Phila
9,766 posts, read 15,721,918 times
Reputation: 10865
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J
BTW I recently went to the county fair. I thought $50 would do it, but wound up spending $150 (for 2 adults and 1 kid). And that was on free admission day, no cost to enter the fair!
Fairs have gotten SO EXPENSIVE lately. Our town fair has tickets for $1, and each ride is 3-5 tickets each! So $3-$5 per ride times 3 kids, which is ridiculous! At our local fair they have a special where you can get 22 tickets for $20 so you get 2 extra tickets, essentially. We figure $40 is plenty to spend at the fair. So we essentially get 45 tickets or 15 tickets per kid. We tell the kids in advance that they can go on 3-5 rides each, and that's it - when we're out of tickets, we're out. Otherwise, we found we were spending too much without giving much thought about whether the rides were even worth it.
For a snack, we try to get something that we can all share like a giant kettle corn. That goes a long way. We balance out the costly activities with the free ones like listening to the bands, magic shows, checking out the 4-H competitions, looking at the various booths, etc. We can usually keep the cost down to about $50 or so that way.
It's also definitely worth it to look at the fair website - a different fair that we go to has a coloring game on their website, where kids can print out the page, color it, and bring it to the ticket booth in exchange for a free ride ticket - any ride even the 5 ticket-ones. For us, that means a savings of up to $15!
I've noticed the more research I do in advance, the more likely we are to spend less.
There seems to be a lot more pressure now to go out and socialize, rather than have people over to your homes. Home entertaining used to be more common but many folks now, young and old alike, are insecure to have people come over. Is the house clean enough? Did I pick the right wine? Do I live in the right neighborhood? Etc.
Start having people come over for cocktails, for coffee, to watch an event on TV, to have a theme party, etc. No need to have a full bar or go all Martha Stewart. Just do what you can and make sure to clean the house.
Alternatively, you can meet people for sports and outdoor activities that don't cost much money. An idea for a restaurant get-together is to find good happy hours with less expensive menus. Call the place in advance and let them know you are having a dozen people come for a party - ask if the restaurant provides any balloons or other party stuff. Some places do.
If you can't really afford an event, just bow out nicely, and invite the person to your home or for a bike ride or something else at a later date.
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