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I sometimes wonder how people can justify having children when they don't have any money in the bank, meaning no savings for emergencies or possibly not even enough money for rent, yet they are perfectly content planning to start a family. I'm not wired to think that way, but in some respects, I envy that the fear of having no money is not holding them back from their personal goals.
I know its been said that you can never save up enough to have kids, but how does one find the balance?? I don't want the fear of not having enough for retirement stop me from having children if we want them. Yet, I want to be responsible.
Kids aren't actually nearly as expensive as studies like to suggest. Alot of them assume that people would buy smaller houses if they didn't want kids and sort of assume a percentage of 'rent' applicable to the children. I'm not sure that's a realistic assumption. IE, a couple who doesn't want children would buy a $100k 1 bedroom condo whereas a couple who does would buy a $300k house with 4 bedrooms. I think most people would buy an equally expensive (better location) condo with fewer bedrooms rather than one out in the suburbs so the housing expense would be essentially the same.
They also budget saving for college expenditures, but very few parents statistically have 18 year college funds for their children.
In any case, to mitigate the major cost (daycare!!!!!!!!!!!!!) many people move close to a retired parent or grandparent who can help be a provider. Beyond daycare children really aren't that expensive on a month-by-month basis. I would say that my 2 year old daugher is about $150 a month if you exclude daycare. That's also why so many young high schoolers can become relatively functional moms.
Kids aren't actually nearly as expensive as studies like to suggest. Alot of them assume that people would buy smaller houses if they didn't want kids and sort of assume a percentage of 'rent' applicable to the children. I'm not sure that's a realistic assumption. IE, a couple who doesn't want children would buy a $100k 1 bedroom condo whereas a couple who does would buy a $300k house with 4 bedrooms. I think most people would buy an equally expensive (better location) condo with fewer bedrooms rather than one out in the suburbs so the housing expense would be essentially the same.
They also budget saving for college expenditures, but very few parents statistically have 18 year college funds for their children.
In any case, to mitigate the major cost (daycare!!!!!!!!!!!!!) many people move close to a retired parent or grandparent who can help be a provider. Beyond daycare children really aren't that expensive on a month-by-month basis. I would say that my 2 year old daugher is about $150 a month if you exclude daycare. That's also why so many young high schoolers can become relatively functional moms.
Sure, if you only provide them with the bare necessities. However, if you factor in college, the cost skyrockets.
College? My older son joined the Army Reserve, worked extra at the Reserve when he could, and with scholarships managed to put himself through college and at 35 with a wife and two kids, he has never needed a cent from us. We are living in a college town right now and those graduates are "gainfully" employed selling real estate and insurance so.............. I think the cost of raising child is grossly overstated. We raised two boys, the "Major" and our son with Down syndrome (and that took money management!) on salaries that were not that high and often I had no income or only part-time since I homeschooled our son with DS. Too often parents fill in the gaps in the time they can spend with their children with "things" to make up for it and that is where the bill starts running up, well, that and trying to impress others by using their children and what they can do ($$$) for them, give them, etc.
I sometimes wonder how people can justify having children when they don't have any money in the bank, meaning no savings for emergencies or possibly not even enough money for rent, yet they are perfectly content planning to start a family. I'm not wired to think that way, but in some respects, I envy that the fear of having no money is not holding them back from their personal goals.
I know its been said that you can never save up enough to have kids, but how does one find the balance?? I don't want the fear of not having enough for retirement stop me from having children if we want them. Yet, I want to be responsible.
Best advice I've gotten regarding children came from my dad. He said "If you wait till your ready and can afford them to have Kids, you'll never have any Kids."
That being said, we did save up an extra cushion of savings, and had our 1st a little over a year ago. Honestly kids aren't as expensive as I'd been led to believe. Of course a lot depends on if your ok with hand-me-downs and less than brand new toys/etc. We were gifted a Crib, car seat, tons of clothes from friends and co workers which also helped a lot.
Best advice I have is if your planning a kid, study your heath insurance carefully, if might make sense to up your coverage to a better plan over the year of the pregnancy/birth, and help save you some money.
Thank you for your realistic replies, much appreciated!
Yes, I've heard the saying "If you wait till your ready & can afford to have Kids, you'll never have any Kids." That is true, the problem with that is that love & cuddles don't pay the bills. So there has to be some kind of plan.
Oddly enough, college funds don't scare me that much. We will put a little away each month, but I want my future child to learn the value of hard work, so there will be no free rides there.
I see nothing wrong with buying gently used furniture and toys for babies. After all, they will only use them for a couple of years. A baby will not know the difference between a brand new toy or one passed down from a friend. And even if they did notice a difference, its a good teaching point.
We live a decent life now, we are frugal where we need to be and that has allowed us to enjoy rewards here and there. Hopefully if we have children one day, we will continue on in the same way.
If you have friends with slightly older babies, a baby can be almost free.
TONS of baby clothes often come your way. Cribs, strollers, high chair take just a little asking around. The only thing I "believe" in buying new are car seats (safety device and most people don't read their manuals or actually care for them properly e.g. you can't machine wash straps.) Breastfeeding and cloth diapering are really inexpensive if you can keep a parent at home for 6 months. If not things start to creep up (breast pump & disposable diapers & day care.)
I do see older kids with crazy bills for sports, etc. My daughter's DCP has a teenage son who plays hockey at some kind of national level, and it about $800 dollars a month for gear, fees, travel expenses, van maintenance to haul the team.
If you are interested in seeing this topic beat to death, head over the Parenting Forum....
When we had our one and only 19 years ago, we used cloth diapers, shopped used, etc. We didn't have much extra and we got by fine.
They get more expensive as they get older, without a doubt.
Our son is in college now. Scholarships are very competitive and not easy to come by - especially if you are a male, middle class person. He's going to a state university and the only loans he qualifies for are the Stafford Loans. We are helping with the rest. He has joined AFROTC and is hoping he might qualify for a scholarship next year, but again, those are VERY competitive. His next step is if he gets the spot in boot camp summer after next. Then he'll sign a contract and get a stipend of some sort. He works. Has since he's been 14. But I can say, there is no way he could work full time and carry the load and do the major he is doing. So just a word of advice - and of course this is dependent on what major you child may be interested in - if college is even for them - if you are figuring they'll figure out how to pay for it on their own, it will be tough and they will be burdened with a lot of debt.
We had friends recently think they could just not claim their son on their taxes and he'd then qualify for more loans, grants, etc. Big surprise when they found out that is NOT the case. Until they are 24, parents income is the determining factor whether you want it to be or not.....
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