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Yeah, I've heard of some people leaving their unworthy children a small amount (maybe like $100 each) and giving the rest to charities or more deserving heirs. This way the children can't claim they were entitled to a portion of the estate but left out of the will due to a lawyer's negligence.
Or you could just give a shout out in the will to them specifically saying you have chosen not to include them and save the $100.
I wonder about this exact same topic. Hubby and I don't have any kids, and don't intend to. Until recently, we had a negative net worth, and we are in our 30s and healthy, so we don't have a will yet, but at some soon point, we probably should make up a will, as our net worth is no longer negative, and should continue in that direction from now on. I have a sister, who intends to have children, but doesn't yet. Hubby has a sister and a couple of half siblings, with a myriad of children between them. Hubby and I are both older than our siblings.
I'm very close to my sister, and she is an extremely responsible adult, with a masters degree. Hubby isn't at all close to any of his siblings, none of whom are very responsible, and all of whom barely graduated from high school. Both of us know my sister would be the best person to give the money to, for long term use. Our problem is that she is also the one who will likely need it the least. Any of hubby's 3 siblings would benefit in the short term from it, but go through it very quickly and it would be gone. His siblings aren't terrible people. He doesn't dislike them, none of them are on welfare, they aren't whiny, they've never asked us for money, he just isn't close to them, and realistically knows that the money wouldn't last with them.
We haven't decided yet what we will do. Maybe some sort of trust that pays out dividends and 1/10th of the principal each year, split among them, over the course of 10 years. But then someone has to manage it, which can cost a decent chunk of change. My grandma died about a year ago, with significant assets and 6 children, and my mom is the trustee, and she is doing something sort of similar. She paid out the cash assets first, immediately, and is paying out proceeds from various other things as CDs/bonds mature or properties are sold. Some of the rental properties, they decided to keep, so every 6 months, she sends them all a check for 1/6th of whatever the profits were for that half year. Some of her siblings are not so good with money, and this keeps them from going overboard.
In the end, though, we'll probably end up willing it all to my sister, and let her decide what to do with it after that. If she chooses to give some share to hubby's siblings, or set up a college fund for them, that would be her choice.
Parents also have problems. They may love their daughter, but she marries a jerk. The parents die and leave everything to the daughter. She divorces and the jerk ends up with half of what the parents worked for all their lives.
My money goes to my 2 sisters. If they predecease me it all goes to Make A Wish. I'll be damned if some cousin gets to buy a boat because I'm dead. My sister has step kids, I like them, but not enough to leave them money. That is why my will says "natural children born of their bodies".
The earlier post about the grandmother leaving the money to her 2 daughters and her dead sons kids. Her sons wife is not a relative, hence the words in-law. I am sure her attorney mentioned that to her. My uncles widows were upset when they were by passed for the kids when a childless uncle of mine died. I been in lots of argument with people that don't believe you need a common progenitor. They like to call people relatives that aren't.
If I had kids it would be divided equally. If one was an idiot I would set up a trust for that one.
My money goes to my 2 sisters. If they predecease me it all goes to Make A Wish. I'll be damned if some cousin gets to buy a boat because I'm dead. My sister has step kids, I like them, but not enough to leave them money. That is why my will says "natural children born of their bodies".
The earlier post about the grandmother leaving the money to her 2 daughters and her dead sons kids. Her sons wife is not a relative, hence the words in-law. I am sure her attorney mentioned that to her. My uncles widows were upset when they were by passed for the kids when a childless uncle of mine died. I been in lots of argument with people that don't believe you need a common progenitor. They like to call people relatives that aren't.
If I had kids it would be divided equally. If one was an idiot I would set up a trust for that one.
If a child were born genetically incapable of caring for himself, that's one thing. Some are just lazy or too proud to take jobs that they consider are beneath them.
I know a woman who lives with her husband and their sons who are in their early twenties in her families generational home. She works as a medical assistant. The husband was fine when he got all those construction jobs, but fell into a depression and will not take other jobs that are beneath him. The sons are educated but cannot find jobs in their fields - I don't know what that would be. She is the sole supporter of the family and is fearful of losing the home.
If you had money and were related, would you leave money to these clowns?
There are lots of people like this. Times are tough. Sometimes you must take what you can get. I'd kick those kids out and divorce the husband if he sat home all day feeling sorry for himself. What a lousy example for his kids.
Some are just lazy or too proud to take jobs that they consider are beneath them.
Well let's be careful about generalizations. We hear a lot, today, about how many jobs are going unfilled. Dig deeper, and while there are some legitimate jobs, many of those jobs are concentrated in areas where there aren't a lot people looking for work, or are jobs for which a substantial amount of higher education and substantial experience doing the job previously is expected, or are actually jobs that wouldn't pass an OSHA sniff-test.
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain
I know a woman who lives with her husband and their sons who are in their early twenties in her families generational home. She works as a medical assistant. The husband was fine when he got all those construction jobs, but fell into a depression and will not take other jobs that are beneath him.
Anecdotes are fun to post, but they're easily debunked with contrary anecdotes: I've got over twenty-five years of experience, on two levels (technical and business). I get a listing of available jobs every Sunday morning, and with almost no exception, each job that has either of my skill-sets as applicable have a substantial amount of job requirements that go beyond anything anyone with these skills would generally have or have reason to obtain. I thank my lucky stars that I'm pretty secure in the job I have now, because the reality of the situation, especially as it pertains to so many of these so-called "available" jobs, is that employers are simply unwilling to hire anyone who isn't Superman, and they're only willing to pay Superman a fraction of what such a wide range and depth of skills would warrant. They'd rather shift the work onto a shrinking team rather than incur reasonable cost for a reasonable level of resourcing. (As someone involved in the hiring process where I work, I know from an insider's perspective, that this is routine.)
I don't doubt that there are some lazy people out there, but the vast majority of people we're talking about are conscientious people willing to work hard in reasonable conditions for a living wage, but such opportunities are grievously scarce in today's labor market.
Or you could just give a shout out in the will to them specifically saying you have chosen not to include them and save the $100.
Well, that may work, but lawsuits may entail in the end.... To be on the safe side, I left $1 to all the relatives (and their grandchildren), so that no one is explicitly left out. Between that and trusts and direct beneficiaries (that circumvent the will), everything is clear (and there will be one rich dog, much to the SO's chagrin, but legally binding). ;-)
Well let's be careful about generalizations. We hear a lot, today, about how many jobs are going unfilled. Dig deeper, and while there are some legitimate jobs, many of those jobs are concentrated in areas where there aren't a lot people looking for work, or are jobs for which a substantial amount of higher education and substantial experience doing the job previously is expected, or are actually jobs that wouldn't pass an OSHA sniff-test.
Anecdotes are fun to post, but they're easily debunked with contrary anecdotes: I've got over twenty-five years of experience, on two levels (technical and business). I get a listing of available jobs every Sunday morning, and with almost no exception, each job that has either of my skill-sets as applicable have a substantial amount of job requirements that go beyond anything anyone with these skills would generally have or have reason to obtain. I thank my lucky stars that I'm pretty secure in the job I have now, because the reality of the situation, especially as it pertains to so many of these so-called "available" jobs, is that employers are simply unwilling to hire anyone who isn't Superman, and they're only willing to pay Superman a fraction of what such a wide range and depth of skills would warrant. They'd rather shift the work onto a shrinking team rather than incur reasonable cost for a reasonable level of resourcing. (As someone involved in the hiring process where I work, I know from an insider's perspective, that this is routine.)
I don't doubt that there are some lazy people out there, but the vast majority of people we're talking about are conscientious people willing to work hard in reasonable conditions for a living wage, but such opportunities are grievously scarce in today's labor market.
This is a family of five. The house is owned outright. If each of them had a menial job or two they could pool resources and hold their heads above water. I don't think I am being unfair.
This is a family of five. The house is owned outright. If each of them had a menial job or two they could pool resources and hold their heads above water. I don't think I am being unfair.
The point is that you don't know the innermost details of their lives, and beyond that, as an anecdote, it doesn't provide any useful insight into the general condition, i.e., information which others could to address their own related circumstances. That's why I started my comment by saying, "Well let's be careful about generalizations."
My grandmother passed away 6 months ago. Her estate was around $2 million. She had two daughters living. My dad passed away 3 years ago. She gave 1/3 to daughter #1, 1/3 to daughter #2, and the remaining 1/3 split with my dad's three kids. She wanted to kept the money in the family. It hurt my mom's feelings initially, mainly because one of my dad's kids denounced the family, changed his last name, and hasn't spoken to anyone in the last 25 years.
She wanted the money kept in the family. That means that she didn't think of your Mom as family. I can understand why her feelings were hurt.
Well, that may work, but lawsuits may entail in the end.... To be on the safe side, I left $1 to all the relatives (and their grandchildren), so that no one is explicitly left out. Between that and trusts and direct beneficiaries (that circumvent the will), everything is clear (and there will be one rich dog, much to the SO's chagrin, but legally binding). ;-)
I mean you may know more about this then I do, but even if you leave them a dollar they can always claim you were incompetent, or some BS. Writing the "why left out of will" clause is just a method to show you were you didn't forget them.
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