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the thing is like some folks tell me their in debt, and they know that i am doing well. they tell me that theyre in debt. I can be mean and ignore it, switch topic, or i can ask them and see where their doing wrong by getting into details. and thats what folks get offended by it. its like, dont tell me your in debt if you expect me to help you or not. and also, i can talk about % with them, such as their household net income per month and how much % of that are they paying for debt, rent, insurance, etc. but to be honest, the general population dont know about %, its much easier to use dollar amounts. Its easier to ask how much they can save per month, vs what % the can save per month, that way i can help them figure out what to do, since theyre the one that started it.
heck, just being on this forum and reading posts, my money skills gets better. im pretty sure some of the stuff on these forums, the way people talk here, its very taboo to some folks in society.
I think it's because money issues (especially money problems) are usually symptoms of emotional issues that people don't want to deal with. A lot of times people don't even understand why they handle money the way they do because they really don't know or understand themselves and their underlying motivations.
i do not agree much with suzie ormann but her "I SPEND MORE THAN BECAUSE I THINK LESS THAN" is spot on.
how you deal with your finances is a reflection of who you are . those with financial issues usually have other issues causing it.
we have friends for many years who never spoke finances, lived in a house on the water in nyc and drove a benz. they would eat out a few nights a week spending hundreds a week on restaurants.
well they got ready to pull the retirement trigger and asked me to project what they could draw.
i was blown away to see they only had about 400k to their name even after they sold that house .
they had to leave nyc eventually for florida as they just could not survive here on 16k plus social securiy..
that is why most keep their finances quiet, they live a lie or are embarressed.
I have had some very candid money conversations among friends. Some people are open to it, some people don't want to hear bad news/criticism. One interesting conversation I had was with a distant uncle. He had a mansion/yacht and was retired. Everyone assumed it was all free and clear, after all who would get loans on flashy stuff you don't need in retirement. Well long story short, the stuff was leveraged to the moon and he was trying to borrow low/invest for higher return but that wasn't happening (slow market, high operating costs). Yacht is gone, house is for sale and he wants to downsize.....Smart guy, just had a bigger retirement dream than he could afford in reality.
I spoke with a small business owner yesterday, 51 years old and put 2K in an IRA for the first time (and was complaining about it). He has an interest only loan on his home (no principle being paid) and he believes he will be fine when the real estate market roars back (umm yeah). He is anti-equities/stock market and thinks it is going to get taken from everyone like Greece did at their banks. I asked what he invested in.......response: It is in my IRA, I don't know what they did with it!
I suspect he is going to be in for a surprise in 15 years or so.......
Yeah, here's your problem. You're trying to get personal numbers. I'm perfectly happy to say that my mortgage payment is 17% of my household income. I will not however tell you what I paid for my home or what my household income totals. We can have a conversation about what percent of income a mortgage payment should ideally be, but I wouldn't divulge my personal finances and I suspect most others would not as well.
You do know deeds are public record and can be pulled by anyone to see the purchase price of any property? You tell me a percentage of your income your monthly mortgage is and I can do a rough estimate of what you make.
That is why most keep their finances quiet. They live a lie or are embarrassed.
^^This^^
The other reason is they may actually have more than most others would guess and they don't want those from the clueless majority hitting them up for money.
out of all the possible scenerios i think the one that would play out the least is suddenly someone is going to hit you up for money. if they have not been doing it all along odds are that is not changing.
a family that is disfunctional will be disfunctional regardless.
Indians are taught from teenage about money. They love to have good deals and maximum profit
But what's not being taught to Indians is how to manage the wealth or how to supplement the income or passive income
Though Indians are willing to help and offer sound advice on finances. They won't get offended even if you narrate your stories
It all depends where this discussion and why it is taking place ..... in other forums like the early retirement and financial independence forum actual numbers are discussed all the time ..those who are there ,are there to learn , cherry pick ideas and see how others are doing .
No one is pulled down in to the mud for bragging ...but in forums like here , not everyone is there to learn or do better .. you have a mixed bag of people here and not all want to do better ....some rather hear how poorly others are doing so any talking of actual numbers is met with negativity or claims of just bragging ..
So it really depends to who and why numbers are being discussed
I'm quite willing to discuss how I got to where I am, but I hesitate to put a dollar figure to it when discussing with others. Part of the reason is that we live a very quiet life in a lower middle class neighborhood. We could have spent more on housing, but didn't see a reason to do so. One of our neighbors brags to everyone about how much he has and we don't care to be seen in that same light.
My niece did ask me what to do about the 401(k) plan at her first job out of college. I gave her my recommendations and explained why I was making them. She's doing a good job socking away money, so I don't worry about her. My other adult niece is a different story. She's back in school now working on a nursing degree, so maybe she'll pick up some better habits later in life.
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