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I believe in taking care of my debts which I do in full every month. However if they're not my technically my debts than I don't see how I would have a obligation to pay and from my research the individual debts from before the marriage would not combine.
We have been together since high school and I fully agree with what you said. We have discussed this alot recently and she has been able to stick to a budget. We have agreed that I would just add her as an authorized user to one of my cards with a limit that would allow for household expenses and a reasonable amount for shopping.
My thing right now is if she has no official income is there anyway it would affect us as a family.
People make logical decisions for emotional reasons.
While you probably (or shouldn't) marry someone for the money, you probably shouldn't not marry someone despite the money. But I agree with others, you're going to have some challenges when it comes to finances.
Trust me, we just went from 2 incomes down to 1 and it's tough.
If people are married there are no financial problems that only affect one. It only takes one person to make both broke. This thread reminds me of one I started a long time ago that asked the question, "Would you marry someone that was flat broke and had been for a long time?" People thought I was wrong in my opening post when I said there was no way no how. I think the only exception to that is if it is a very young adult just starting out in the world. If you have some age on you and are still like that I think its a red flag.
To the OP, no one on an internet forum can really tell you what you should do. It's pretty easy to hand out advice sometimes when you aren't the on having to live with the consequences. No one else on here loves her like you do, but it is naive to think that a spouses financial problems and habits won't be a problem for both of you.
Debt should never interfere with love. If you love a person, then her problems are your problems. You take them on like Jesus Christ took the problems of the world on his shoulders. That is what love is about!
now how could someone bring the nonsense of 'god' or 'religion' into this thread???
ps. nobody asked for "jesus christ" to sacrifice himself for 'my' sins.....i take full responsibility for 'my' wrongdoings in the court of law.....no need for a fairy tale to go along with it.
TO the OP,
Don't get married. It's that simple.
Marriage is irrelevant now anyway, with DNA test for children.
Why ruin your relationship? Then you can live like a single person
with her, and not be responsible for her debt.
You should encourage her to finish some kind of educational program
also, so she feels better about her student loan debt, and she can auctaully
pay off her debt instead of ignoring it, which is stupid!
So she never finished college, owes money for that, owes on racked up credit cards, is content to fly under the radar for the rest of her life and essentially be a dependent child that gets an allowance from her husband.
If one is irresponsible with money, they do not become responsible unless they get some help with apportioning, budgeting, etc. They don't just say "I'm no good with money, you do it." What if you divorce? What if something happens to you and she has to get a job? Employers run credit checks now and the college debt will haunt her forever.
It surprises me that someone with the OP's level of fiscal responsibility would think it is okay to enable someone to hide out at home to avoid paying back their debt. That the person that owes the money is willing to drop off the map and sit home to avoid paying it back is telling as well.
You sound like two very different people. You--responsible, good job, debt free. She--irresponsible, unemployed, up to her eyeballs in debt. She is a user.
You will resent each other if you marry. You will grow frustrated with her financial irresponsibility and attitude of entitlement, and she will feel that you are cheap, selfish, and have a superior attitude. You may be in love now, but all the frustrations and resentments will turn into hatred very quickly.
I don't think you should get married.
But if you insist, let her get a job and pay off her debts first.
TO the OP,
Don't get married. It's that simple.
Marriage is irrelevant now anyway, with DNA test for children.
Why ruin your relationship? Then you can live like a single person
with her, and not be responsible for her debt.
You should encourage her to finish some kind of educational program
also, so she feels better about her student loan debt, and she can auctaully
pay off her debt instead of ignoring it, which is stupid!
It seems some people think not getting married is some kind of magical cure that will make relationships wonderful and harmonious. Not that long ago, people used to think getting married (or having kids) would automatically make relationships wonderful. Neither extreme is correct. In this case, the seeds of future discontent are already there and if he has a kid with someone who is financially irresponsible, he will be dragged down by her forever.
Student loan debts are almost impossible to get rid of, even in bankruptcy. I won't even get into how unethical it is to just blow off your debts (which it is).
Besides the above issues...are you really sure you want to marry someone who bad credit? Money is one of the biggest issues people fight about and it sounds like you two probably have very different attitudes toward handling money that could lead to a lot of conflict. I also think walking out on financial commitments is a bad sign for your marriage. When people walk away from smaller commitments, they are also apt to walk away from bigger ones.
OP, you had better listen to this statement. This statement is your near future, if you decide to go forth with the marriage. You're about to lose more than your rear end. Don't walk, RUN from that woman!
Student loan debts are almost impossible to get rid of, even in bankruptcy. I won't even get into how unethical it is to just blow off your debts (which it is).
Besides the above issues...are you really sure you want to marry someone who bad credit? Money is one of the biggest issues people fight about and it sounds like you two probably have very different attitudes toward handling money that could lead to a lot of conflict. I also think walking out on financial commitments is a bad sign for your marriage. When people walk away from smaller commitments, they are also apt to walk away from bigger ones.
why is this any of your business? Why does it matter to you who he marries?
The OP was asking about financial implications regarding his future wife's bad credit. He wasn't asking you for relationship advice.
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