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I don't like the fact that you are saying you are terrible at school. You sound more than intelligent enough to do it and with the amount of discipline you've had to have just to keep afloat, you are already demonstrating that you absolutely could organize yourself to get your homework done. I never worked after I graduated college and eventually I refused to believe that I could go on to grad school --or anywhere-- because I was "bad" at math. I spent 3-5 years believing this until finally, two years ago I started studying again. I took 3 courses before I started on my maths again. I have to have 4 maths to get into my nursing program and last year I got an A in three of them! Just one more to go!
The way I see it, you don't have many options. You or your husband needs to have a more viable skill set and the only way to develop that is to go back to school... community college is a great option (that's where I'm at). I would check to see if you can apply for scholarships first, and then see if family can help you out. Many community colleges have a daycare for when you are in class. Either you or your husband has to figure out a way to get retrained. What is your strongest academic/professional strength? Take just ONE class in that area. Talk to the teacher/instructor the very first day and tell them your concerns and most of the time I have found them to be supportive. One the other hand, you have to keep up with your work and show up to class. I swear if you just do these two things you will at least get a B. We all know exceptions to this, but the reality is the more education you have, the better chances of a stable future.
That's about right.
In most communities $50,000 is about the minimum for two adults to maintain.
??? One-fourth of all jobs in this country pay $10/hr or less. The most I have made in a year is $17K. They get by and I get by - and couples making $50,000 are merely eking out a living? The math isn't working out here, how come 'we' can make $8/hr work and 'they' cannot?
Location: 23.7 million to 162 million miles North of Venus
22,848 posts, read 12,021,610 times
Reputation: 10153
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoIdeaForAName
Dh works really long hours to eek out barely a $50k salary, in a labor intensive position. He is tired, frustrated and just overall miserable. ... he is tired and working 12-16 hour days, every day ..... His body is breaking down.
two kids ... in a hcol area.
Please do not suggest we move. I am very close to my friends and family and could never live far away. Moving would be detrimental to my well being.
Wow, I've read some 'me, me, me' threads on here but this one takes the prize.
You're husband is literally working himself to death. He and your children do without so that you can live in an area that you cannot afford because that is where your friends and family are. Moving is out of the question because it would be "detrimental to your well being"?!? How detrimental will it be to your well being when your husbands body finally gives out, from working in a labor intensive job for up to 16 hours a day 7 days a week, and he keels over from a heart attack?
You cannot afford to live in the same area as your family and friends. Stop being selfish. Think of your husbands and kids well being - cut the cord and move to an area you can afford.
We are in a hcol area. $85k does not stretch far when housing is a small fortune (over 50% of our net income). Daycare consumes at least another 10 percent. Cutting little things is not helping the big picture. We get a manageable budget and expenses go up else where, like our health insurance went up in cost this year. Our income has been stagnant for the last 3-4 years.
It is not true that i am wanting to work him to death. I am fine with him working less but our wants and dreams are going to have to become much less. We are going to have to cut his hobbies (I don't have any) and slash our budget more. He is going to have to cut back his spending in order to make ends meet at our base incomes, without overtime. I already pack lunches, don't buy cigarettes, or anything else really. Diapers, but only until our baby is potty trained.
I want to be comfortable without having anxiety about money every time I have to buy groceries, diapers or gas. Forget about anything fun. Surely this is not living, I just want to be comfortable.
I don't have a suggestion for increasing your household income, but here's an idea for not decreasing it any further: No more kids. Make double-sure you're using double-contraceptives. I'm not joking about this.
discounting moving somewhere cheaper i think you answered your own question . without skills or ideas the only thing left is longer hours and more jobs.
Correct. The more one limits options, and moving to a lower COL as well as more education and training, as well as more hours worked, are all options, the more one creates their own bleak future.
Dh works really long hours to eek out barely a $50k salary, in a labor intensive position. He is tired, frustrated and just overall miserable. I get that he is tired and working 12-16 hour days, every day is not reasonable longterm. This is not sustainable to his quality of life. His body is breaking down.
The dilemma is we are barely surviving with the overtime. I was trying to politely explain that we still need the income. We just need a smarter, less labor intensive way to earn an income. He takes it as a dig that he is not good enough for me. I would love to tell him to stop working so much, but frugalness only stretches so far. We already drive 10 year old cars, wear cheap clothes, buy all generics, have no cable or cell phones, shop insurance, use coupons, etc. I stress daily on how to manage our finances to maximize the money and still keep peace in our relationship.
I am at a loss how to increase income for either of us. I struggle to earn a $35k year salary. I am terrible at school and have tried several times to go to college, without success. I would happily grab another job, but with two kids and running a house, someone has to be there for the kids. Also more money for daycare, to allow me the freedom to get a part time job, negates the value of the job. Yes, $85k is struggling in a hcol area.
What do we need to do to increase income? Working long hours is not a longterm solution. Neither of us have high income careers with transferable, marketable skills. We have a household income of half of what our friends make and they have no idea how we are managing. I suppose we are really not managing. We have not been saving money for retirement and our future and all our income is going to basic necessities. We don't have fun. We don't have toys. We don't go on vacations. We don't have a latte factor. We don't even have a nice house.
Please do not suggest we move. I am very close to my friends and family and could never live far away. Moving would be detrimental to my well being.
MOVE!
Assist your husband by helping him get a job on an oil well rig in North Dakota, a construction job in Alaska, or a construction job in Texas where you two can live off his wages.
It ain't gonna kill you, and at the end of your great adventure you'll have more money, your husband (which you will still have)will still be alive and healthy.
You think moving would be detrimental to your well being (I still have no idea what that means)?
Wait until you see what staying does to you.
Originally Posted by berdee;30469209
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You're husband is literally working himself to death. He and your children do without so that [B
you [/b]can live in an area that you cannot afford because that is where your friends and family are. Moving is out of the question because it would be "detrimental to your well being"?!? How detrimental will it be to your well being when your husbands body finally gives out, from working in a labor intensive job for up to 16 hours a day 7 days a week, and he keels over from a heart attack?
That comes out to around $7,000 per month. That is not bad at all. If you live a frugal lifestyle you can live on that comfortably and still have something left over for fun activities. Many people would find that income more than adequate. Where is all the money going?
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