Discussing an inheritance before it happens?

[lmw36]

Originally Posted by Briolat21

That's the thing about inheritances - they don't have to be "fair" - they just have to carry out the decedent's wishes.

Want to ignore all blood/adopted relatives and leave it to the animal shelter? Perfectly okay.

Wnat to leave it to the cute aide who helped cooked dinner for you in your twilight years? Perfectly okay (as long as you were competent when the will was drafted).

That's why you generally don't *plan* for an inheritance, because its chancey whether or not it will actually occur.

Unless of course your lucky enough to be part of a family with many many millions, then generally there are trusts and you're likely to become beneficiary at a relatively young age.

Yup, don't plan on an inheritance.

Live your life as you normally would with YOUR income. Save for rainy days, kids college, etc. If the inheritance happens, it'll just be icing on the cake. You never know what will happen in the future. Someone could get injured, ill, pass away, go broke for some reason, etc. Don't live your life like you will come across money that hasn't even come across yet.

This is how people go into debt.

[TuborgP]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

This is true. My father predeceased my grandparents. So my father's half of his estate bypassed my mother and was divided among my father's four children. We all decided to give Mom a portion of what we received so that the five of us all came out even.

Even this scenario can be countered by putting the childrens money in a trust to be dispersed at various adult age points like 25, 35, 45 etc. This will help the Grandparents bypass any influence and control the mom might have and leave it to the grandkids when they are hopefully more responsible. It is what our intent is as written by the attorney to best implement it.

[bbnetworking]

imagine yourself in their shoes, will you be offended if your son in law one day come to you and ask you about what they going to get after you die?

To me it sounds like, a gold digger who is after my money, and I am deciding if I want to marry her.

It's their money until they die, and has pass it to you. otherwise it's not your money.

[marcopolo]

Originally Posted by lenniel

Wow, I'm actually surprised at the level of agreement between posters on this topic. I didn't expect that. I know that our financial planner wants to discuss this simply because there may be some current tax implications of my spouses current ownership in some land and I imagine it will sort of come out in that conversation.

As far as keeping the inheritance (if any) separate, my spouse and I don't work that way. We have shared accounts etc. To me, that's akin to getting a prenup, which basically throws the whole "for better or worse, for richer or poorer" (those words actually mean something to some people) out the window.

There is a big step between current tax implications for shared family ownership of land and planning on a potential inheritance that is decades away. The issue with your original post is that if you do factor in a contingent possibility, what effect does that have? Do you stop saving for retirement since the inheritance is coming? How do you account for unanticipated changes? Discount the inheritance 50% to reflect the idea that is might not come in? How foolish would all that be?

I think it is unproductive and more than a little "off" to even frame the question. Are you going to buy a pile of life insurance on your wife, since if she dies prematurely you might get nothing? I'd like to hear you explain that idea to her.

[Linda_d]

Originally Posted by mizzourah2006

Maybe I'm weird, but I have never considered anything of my parents to be mine. I don't deserve any of the wealth they have accumulated. If they want to give it to me that is awesome, but if my sister has kids and I don't and my mom thinks a good idea would be to help her kids go to college I would be all for it.

^^^

Originally Posted by mizzourah2006

What do you mean fair is fair? This implies the kids are entitled to their parents' money. I'm not sure why people believe this.

What part did the son or daughter have in creating the wealth the mother currently has?

I'm with you. Parents don't "owe" their adult children an inheritance. I think parents do have a responsibility to provide for their minor children, and that includes both financially if they have the $$$ as well as legally (ie, appointing appropriate guardian/guardians).

Originally Posted by longnecker

What a terrible thing to say. I have plans for my winnings Friday night on the $400 million MegaMillion JackPot!!

Sorry, but you'll have to share with me.

Originally Posted by marcopolo

I think it is unproductive and more than a little "off" to even frame the question. Are you going to buy a pile of life insurance on your wife, since if she dies prematurely you might get nothing? I'd like to hear you explain that idea to her.

Or to the police if the wife were to die mysteriously shortly afterward.

[Ivan Putski]

I'm in a similar situation where my wife's family is extremely wealthy and as curious as I may be, I could never ask my father-in-law nor would I have my wife ask him about any sort of inheritance.

I totally see where the OP is coming from as far as incorporating a potential inheritance into their financial planning but I just can't go there. I'm comfortable where we are financially and we plan as though there's nothing coming.

1 exception: We did make a financial decision recently with respect to our term life insurance policies where we decided to take my policy out to 20 yrs (I'm in my late 30s) and hers to 30 yrs (she's in her early 30s) given the potential inheritance she may receive and to reduce the amount of premiums we pay.

The thought process was that if I pass after my policy expired in 20 yrs, my wife would have the assets we've accumulated plus the potential inheritance/support from her family to cover lost income and other expenses (our mortgage would have approximately 7-8 yrs left at that point).

Vice versa: I would only have the assets we've accumulated since I wouldn't expect to receive any sort of inheritance/support so we decided to go 30 yrs on her life.

[lenniel]

Originally Posted by Ivan Putski

I'm in a similar situation where my wife's family is extremely wealthy and as curious as I may be, I could never ask my father-in-law nor would I have my wife ask him about any sort of inheritance.

I totally see where the OP is coming from as far as incorporating a potential inheritance into their financial planning but I just can't go there. I'm comfortable where we are financially and we plan as though there's nothing coming.

1 exception: We did make a financial decision recently with respect to our term life insurance policies where we decided to take my policy out to 20 yrs (I'm in my late 30s) and hers to 30 yrs (she's in her early 30s) given the potential inheritance she may receive and to reduce the amount of premiums we pay.

The thought process was that if I pass after my policy expired in 20 yrs, my wife would have the assets we've accumulated plus the potential inheritance/support from her family to cover lost income and other expenses (our mortgage would have approximately 7-8 yrs left at that point).

Vice versa: I would only have the assets we've accumulated since I wouldn't expect to receive any sort of inheritance/support so we decided to go 30 yrs on her life.

Basically, it's a family farm that's going to be split among my wife and her sibling. My wife already outright owns a portion and we'd be inheriting another % when my MIL passes.
On the other hand, I do agree with posters that a lot can happen between now and then. One of those things being long term care for my MIL which is expensive and would probably force the sale of some of the land to fund that care.