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has anyone had a wedding around 10-12 grand in a big city like New York, LA or San Francisco? How big was it and how many people attended it? Why do people think they need to have $20k or $30k weddings these days when they don't have enough saved up for a home, planning to start a family and have other financial priorities?
What you posted is still way to much to spend on one event in my opinion.
My entire wedding cost right around $1200.00 and a lot of that was gasoline and the hotel because we drove to, got married and stayed for 2 days in Tennessee.
The only reason weddings are so expensive is because humans make them so expensive. When we renew our wedding vows if we decide to go ahead and do that it may be a bit more cost because we will actually have people at that ceremony and will plan on a reception however, we probably won't be driving to Tennessee.
I agree...10-12 grand is tooooo much, unless you've got lots of money to burn. I agree with the above that weddings are only as expensive as we want them to be. There really is no need for it.....
too expensive? eh? what if you want to have a ceremony where people are actually invited to celebrate?
Most weddings that I have been to recently cost about $25,000-40,000 and these were hosted by people of very average means and little savings. I know this is the stupidest thing to do but people do it because it is a buy now pay later attitude. People feel entitled to it because it's their once in a lifetime special day and justify that the expense is a one time exception.
Infact, here are two official statistics... the average United States household has over $15,000 in debts (more if you take into account student loan debt) but the average wedding in the United States costs $28,427.
Far too many young people (and their parents) invest more in an extravagant, one-day wedding (designed to make the bride feel like a princess-for-a-day) ... than they do in making the associated marriages work over the long run.
I already told my daughter I'm not giving her any money for a WEDDING, I think they are stupid when it probably costs under $100 for a MARRIAGE license. There is a difference between getting married and throwing a wedding. People just want the SHOW, and they are willing to pay for it apparently. I'm happy to give my kids money to pay for school or car maintenance or help with rent once in awhile, that's how I choose to spend my money, but never on a party.
My own wedding was cheap and would probably come in under $5k in todays dollars. We only did that because our moms wanted some traditional brouhaha. People should just get married in their house or backyard or something if they don't want a courthouse ceremony. But even a dinner party or a blowout of some kind doesn't have to run into 10's of thousands.
One of my daughters friends just got engaged and is planning her wedding now for next year. Poor, underemployed, student loans up the wazoo...we had dinner and she was telling me all about how this was "her year" and the cake tastings, dress shoppings, venue searchings, favor choosing, color coordinating, etc. 9 bridesmaids...and she picked "colors" has a specific type of dress in mind for them and now the pressure is on to FIND one they all look good in and can afford..... Oh my god how backwards. On top of that there is, of course, a bachelor/bachelorette party trip to Vegas being planned and multiple parties and expenses for them all. WTH is engagement parties and photo shoots all about anyway? They admitted they are already fighting with family and friends over details and may not even be on speaking terms with some of them soon. I honestly couldn't believe it and told her so. I suggesed they elope.
Get married at a house instead of a venue. Outdoors or indoors depending on the weather. Don't serve dinner, just finger foods. Don't have a bar. Don't have a band. The fewer people in the wedding party the less expense. Don't buy a new wedding dress, the markup on those is ridiculous, buy one at a second hand shop or even rent one. No limo. Flowers are also overpriced, use different decorations (candles are cheap!) and only a small bouquet instead of a huge one.
Our whole wedding cost less than $2K. I got my dress for only $300 - it was a sample dress and it just happened to fit me perfectly without alterations. I only had one bridesmaid. We got married in a chapel on a college campus (rental $100) and it was very nice. The most we spent was on the reception, around $1k for the space and food.
I already told my daughter I'm not giving her any money for a WEDDING, I think they are stupid when it probably costs under $100 for a MARRIAGE license. There is a difference between getting married and throwing a wedding. People just want the SHOW, and they are willing to pay for it apparently. I'm happy to give my kids money to pay for school or car maintenance or help with rent once in awhile, that's how I choose to spend my money, but never on a party.
EXACTLY how I feel as well. Unfortunately this is a hugely minority opinion. I told my GF that if we were to get married I would like to not exceed a budget of $10k and that would mean a simplistic wedding. I feel this budget is PLENTY to have a gathering, minister and invite people and feed them. There is no need for all this show etc. I don't want expensive venues, ridiculously indulgent food, flowers marked up 1000% etc. I refuse to pay for any of that nonsense. This has resulted in arguments between us. She has a hugely different philosophy and says if I contribute $10k then it's fine and she will find an additional $10k elsewhere - perhaps from her mom or she will save up for it. But she has debts to pay off as well (car and student loan) so it's a misuse of money in my opinion. Besides, even if the additional $10k is not coming out of my pocket I still am not agreeable for my potential partner to be squandering money on this when there is much better use for the money.
As I said $10k is plenty and I have been generous enough to absorb the total cost. In addition there is already the ring ($3k) and honeymoon which will be $3-4k so it's still quite an expense for just one event. All her friends have had $20-30,000 weddings so my hunch is that she feels a pressure to keep up - she will not admit this but that is my gut feeling, and that is a really bad sign in itself. I am a pretty simple guy, I make 6 digits yet drive a 10 year old truck that is worth only $5k when in reality I could be driving a brand new Porsche. I spend my money on things that are useful to me, mostly learning new things, my hobbies etc. I never spend money on show and flash and I am vehemently opposed to display of wealth for the purpose of vanity.
My philosophy is that having a $20k+ wedding is for pure vanity purposes because it's not necessary for a celebration with 100 people to cost that much, $10k is plenty. But people laugh when I say a 100 person wedding can be done on $10k even in Southern California. Well, I know someone who threw a birthday party recently in a good venue and invited 100 people and it cost them only $2k. So $10k is 5x that, I am at a loss why a wedding cannot be done for that figure? As I said everything is ridiculously marked up the moment you mention wedding, the industry is rigged and the whole thing is for nothing but vanity.
I'm glad there are some people here that agree with me, because I am constantly made to feel by people here that my philosophy on this is bizzare and ridiculous.
See, the problem is that even if she agrees to have a $10k wedding she may be very resentful that I didn't go the extra step to make her special day the way she wanted and that dynamic would not be good to start a marriage on... that do you think?
You see, if I had my choice I would just get married in a courthouse and then throw a party later at my place... so for me having a $10k affair itself is fancy, not imagine someone saying even that is not enough and it has to be double that and then saying that $20k is actually a cheap wedding since most of her friends' weddings were in the $30k range.
Last edited by redrocket2; 01-04-2014 at 12:32 PM..
See, the problem is that even if she agrees to have a $10k wedding she may be very resentful that I didn't go the extra step to make her special day the way she wanted and that dynamic would not be good to start a marriage on... that do you think?
I agree with you and you should really get on the same page about this stuff BEFORE getting married. It's YOUR day too.
I'm female and I understand the whole wedding mentality and girls are bombarded with it throughout their lives. It's a real blind spot for many people and rationality flies out the window. That "special day" should be special, because of the marriage, not because of the cake, flowers, dress colors, venues, etc. Thankfully I've always received more pleasure by seeing $$ in my bank account than in decorations and stuff that won't be there tomorrow! Memories? You have a lifetime to make those.
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