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I don't claim to know it all but I have several friends who let their children dive into high school without letting them get part time jobs or any responsibilities except for school and they have failed miserably their first year out going to an away from home college. These are children who had pre paid or full ride scholarships.
Now this isn't always the case but it seems not all can handle the first two years away from home. These are basically cores the first year out so I really don't think it hurts having them stay local.
Just my two cents.
That could have been me. My sister did exactly that -- even though she worked. My parents realized that I was very like her, and made me wait a year before going to college, and then I went to a community college and commuted.
My parents sort of sheltered us -- not completely, but our non parental outings were church based and community based, so there was no real chance to go wild -- there were always lots of adults to corral us. So when we graduated from high school we may have been 18.... but we were a YOUNG 18.
And college was ... an eye opening experience. That scared my sister from straight A's to flunking out. I didn't get that chance.
So by the time I went away to college, I was 21, dating the man I would marry, and thought drinking and being crazy was pretty stupid.
I went to land grant U as it was much more affordable than a private college. There was no charge for credit hours between 14-18 a trimester (essentially a fourth class). So I tried to add a 'free' non-core class each trimester....all while working part time and getting loans to help with expenses. (I was debt free at 30).
Tally makes a good point. I had part time jobs in high school, so working/balancing time was not a big issue for me. I was shocked at how many students didn't have the discipline to mind their studies without parental supervision.
What ever happened to making the kid pay their own way through college. That's what I did. I was a B- student in high school and a straight A student in college, The difference was, I was paying for it. A pretty good motivator.
I worked full time to learn the money to pay to go to college full time (yes it was very tough). Back when I was doing this most of the other students were also paying their own way.
When did it become socially the norm for the parents to pay? Most students now see college as a place to get away from the parents and party, very few take college seriously.
What ever happened to making the kid pay their own way through college. That's what I did. I was a B- student in high school and a straight A student in college, The difference was, I was paying for it. A pretty good motivator.
I worked full time to learn the money to pay to go to college full time (yes it was very tough). Back when I was doing this most of the other students were also paying their own way.
When did it become socially the norm for the parents to pay? Most students now see college as a place to get away from the parents and party, very few take college seriously.
Agreed I was a B/C student in HS now I'm an A/B. I fully pay for my college, and work part time. Its not easy, but its better than grinding away at a low wage job my whole life.
First of all I believe it is a parent's responsibility to help put their kids through college. I don't understand why you would have kids if you're not planning on seeing it all the way through and these days that includes college. However that does include a great deal of responsibility on the part of the child/student, good grades, effort, results, staying out of trouble.
We are using the Parent Plus Loan program to put 3 kids through college. However unlike this family, my total for 3 kids will be less than $120K, no where near 500K. Oldest had the choice of several SUNY's or privates with attractive scholarships, opting for a SUNY where she dorms; next one is looking at a private but with a significant scholarship; and the last is looking to stay at home and commute to a top notch SUNY.
The thing is we are aware of what we're doing, we're not just borrowing without an exit strategy. The funds are there, we've decided to leave them alone and borrow for now and when the last one graduates either continue with the monthly plan or pay it all off.
We're also paying off the kids Stafford loans too. We don't want them graduating in debt.
I think it's fine to help one's kids go to college, but if, and only if, the parents have fully funded their own retirements. Going into debt for the sake of the kids' education is folly, and incredibly risky. Going into debt 6 figures and more is borderline lunacy. The best gift one can give their children is not to be a burden on them in old age. There are many ways for a kid to pay for college, be it loans, or military service. I recommend the latter--that's what I did, and the GI Bill saw me through grad school debt-free. Luckily, I am able to contribute to my child's 529 AND fully fund my retirement savings. But if I could only fund one, you better believe it would be my own retirement security.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Q44
First of all I believe it is a parent's responsibility to help put their kids through college. I don't understand why you would have kids if you're not planning on seeing it all the way through and these days that includes college. However that does include a great deal of responsibility on the part of the child/student, good grades, effort, results, staying out of trouble.
We are using the Parent Plus Loan program to put 3 kids through college. However unlike this family, my total for 3 kids will be less than $120K, no where near 500K. Oldest had the choice of several SUNY's or privates with attractive scholarships, opting for a SUNY where she dorms; next one is looking at a private but with a significant scholarship; and the last is looking to stay at home and commute to a top notch SUNY.
The thing is we are aware of what we're doing, we're not just borrowing without an exit strategy. The funds are there, we've decided to leave them alone and borrow for now and when the last one graduates either continue with the monthly plan or pay it all off.
We're also paying off the kids Stafford loans too. We don't want them graduating in debt.
First of all I believe it is a parent's responsibility to help put their kids through college. I don't understand why you would have kids if you're not planning on seeing it all the way through and these days that includes college. However that does include a great deal of responsibility on the part of the child/student, good grades, effort, results, staying out of trouble.
I would agree with the term "help". Parents should help their children with their education.
However, among many of my family members and colleagues, the entire burden seems to have shifted onto the parents. Some of these kids are leaving college without having to actually work a part time job along the way.
I read the article and thought, wait a minute, no, student debt didn't nearly destroy the family -- their choices, and their kids' choices, were simply not particularly good from a financial perspective. For example:
- The parents had apparently saved nothing for college, even though they had 4 kids that they wanted to PUT through college.
- Three out of the four kids decided to go to private colleges. Sometimes private colleges are actually less expensive than public ones -- IF the family gets financial aid, but this family didn't.
- The parents refinanced their house (after almost losing it when the dad lost his job) to pay for a daughter's wedding.
- The parents say they have no retirement savings. SERIOUSLY???
- And on a more basic level, they chose to have FOUR kids. Sorry, but kids are expensive. If you choose to have 4 kids, please don't complain later about how expensive it is to support them. (I know that may sound harsh, but come on!!)
Am I nuts, or are those just not very smart financial decisions?
No, you are not nuts, these parents are. I will say their kids sound like they are responsible, as much of their $500,000 in debts have been paid.
By the year 2000, I thought it would have been obvious that the increasing cost of tertiary education would necessitate some saving. Amongst white collar families, I thought it was practically instinctual knowledge that federal assistance doesn't exist for married professionals pulling in salaries commensurate with that demographic designation.
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Honestly, this was prevalent as far back as the late 1980s when I went to college. I don't know what planet people have been living on for so long
Last edited by mysticaltyger; 05-27-2014 at 07:15 PM..
The American dream.....live for today and worry about tommorrow later.....and then act like a shocked victim when your tomorrow sucks.
Addition by me in red.
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