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Old 01-15-2015, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,273 posts, read 35,818,552 times
Reputation: 62619

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bUU View Post
To be fair, the world has changed since we were children. (Of course, the world has changed between we were children and the time our parents were children.) While older generations have always complained about younger generations in this way, each generation faced different realities. For example, today's older generation, when it was the younger generation, faced a better situation than their parents faced, when their parents were the younger generation. And that had been the case generation after generation for centuries.

It isn't true for today's younger generation. Instead, today's younger generation faces a situation with less promise, less degrees of freedom leading to success, and less overall cause for optimism. And they are the first generation in recent history for which this has been true. That shapes the way they should be expected to see the world in a manner similar to how a terminal diagnosis shapes the way someone would see the world, or how losing one's nest egg to a market downturn shapes the way someone would see the world.
Even if I did agree with all this (and that's debatable), it's all the more reason not to spend $200 - $300 a week on eating out and partying, which is what the OP was describing. $200 a week on eating out, drinking and partying comes to over $10,000 a year - or $52,000 in FIVE YEARS of young adulthood.
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Old 01-15-2015, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Vallejo
13,982 posts, read 15,980,160 times
Reputation: 12603
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Investor View Post
My kids, who are in their 20s, don't think twice about spending $25 for lunch or $50 for dinner on a regular basis. If they go out to lunch they always have to get an appetizer, the main course, a desert and a few mixed drinks or beers. They don't think that is expensive or extravagant. That is just what all their friends spend.

Then if they go out to a bar on Saturday night, they don't think spending $50 on a cover charge and alcohol only is that unusual or extravagant. $12 drinks and a cover charge. That is what all their friends do.

Back when I was their age, we did not have access to credit cards and it was more painful to pull money out of our wallet, so we spent less, adjusted to inflation.

The younger generation is just use to spending lots of money with friends when they leave the house. Agree?
How much do you kids make? I certainly don't spend $25 for lunch or $50 for dinner on a regular basis. I've spent that much on (per person) a few times last year for dinner, all of them on bigger events. Graduations, first career jobs, that sort of thing.
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Old 01-15-2015, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, LA
3,355 posts, read 2,678,639 times
Reputation: 7525
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Investor View Post
My kids, who are in their 20s, don't think twice about spending $25 for lunch or $50 for dinner on a regular basis. If they go out to lunch they always have to get an appetizer, the main course, a desert and a few mixed drinks or beers. They don't think that is expensive or extravagant. That is just what all their friends spend.

Then if they go out to a bar on Saturday night, they don't think spending $50 on a cover charge and alcohol only is that unusual or extravagant. $12 drinks and a cover charge. That is what all their friends do.

Back when I was their age, we did not have access to credit cards and it was more painful to pull money out of our wallet, so we spent less, adjusted to inflation.

The younger generation is just use to spending lots of money with friends when they leave the house. Agree?
I challenge anyone to go to lunch anywhere and have appetizers, main course, dessert, AND a few mixed drinks or beers and spend *only* $25. Anywhere.

By the way, Investor, are you retired now?
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Old 01-15-2015, 10:25 PM
 
Location: Boise, ID
8,043 posts, read 23,589,695 times
Reputation: 9329
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike From NIU View Post
Heck. I'm 35. If someone in their twenties come by, I come storming out my door yelling, "GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"
Ha, I'm 36 and I feel the same way. I signed a lease with someone this week and realized that for the first time, I'm old enough to be the tenant's mother. Holy Heck, how in the world did that happen? I'm not ready to be old enough to be grandma.

I have to say that financial savvy is not taught in most schools, nor was it when I was in school. And my parents were VERY closed mouthed about their finances. When I was leaving for college, I had to sit down with mom and ask: How much is normal for rent, what should I budget for groceries, etc. I had had a job in high school, but didn't have to pay any of that stuff myself, so had no idea what was normal. Many people are in that same boat, especially if their parents helped them in high school and college with an allowance or help with expenses.

If your kids are in their 20s and still asking for money, you are enabling them. Stop it. Sit them down and have the money talk. You should have done before they were 15, but it is never too late. Next time they ask for money, instead hand them a list of some fun activities they could put together with friends that aren't expensive. Besides saving money, they might find something they really enjoy. If nothing else, 20 somethings are usually looking for variety for what to do on date night. Hanging at the bar is one of the most expensive habits the average person has these days. Alcohol is pricey.

And I just realized you are talking $25 for lunch or $50 for dinner for ONE PERSON. I can't remember the last time my husband and I went out to eat that it was more than that for both of us. Water is (usually) free, not to mention healthier. And in our fat nation, no one needs an appetizer and dessert all for themselves. One appetizer and one dessert for the whole table to split is MORE than is needed. I had lunch today at Red Robin with both my parents and our total bill was under $40 for 3 people and we had plenty to eat. We went to Texas Roadhouse last week with 7 people, and the total bill for 7 dinners and 2 appetizers and a few sodas (most of us had water) was just over $150 for 7 people and we took food home. Your kids are being wasteful.

Having grown up in a family who was lucky enough to be well off, I didn't have to worry about money as a child or teenager. If I needed something, I got it. Most of the time, if I wanted something, I got it. Fortunately for me, I am frugal by nature, so I've been ok. If your kids don't have the value of a dollar drilled into them at some point, unless they are naturally frugal people (which they obviously aren't), they will end up in trouble at some point. You aren't doing them any favors by letting this continue.
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Old 01-15-2015, 11:04 PM
 
11,780 posts, read 8,560,865 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lacerta View Post

If your kids are in their 20s and still asking for money, you are enabling them. Stop it. Sit them down and have the money talk. You should have done before they were 15, but it is never too late. Next time they ask for money, instead hand them a list of some fun activities they could put together with friends that aren't expensive. Besides saving money, they might find something they really enjoy. If nothing else, 20 somethings are usually looking for variety for what to do on date night. Hanging at the bar is one of the most expensive habits the average person has these days. Alcohol is pricey.
I always found bars to be the cheapest option. $60 is enough to keep 2 people entertained all night - especially if you hit up $1/$2 drink special nights. That translates to $5/hr if you stay for 6 hours.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lacerta View Post
And I just realized you are talking $25 for lunch or $50 for dinner for ONE PERSON. I can't remember the last time my husband and I went out to eat that it was more than that for both of us. Water is (usually) free, not to mention healthier. And in our fat nation, no one needs an appetizer and dessert all for themselves. One appetizer and one dessert for the whole table to split is MORE than is needed. I had lunch today at Red Robin with both my parents and our total bill was under $40 for 3 people and we had plenty to eat. We went to Texas Roadhouse last week with 7 people, and the total bill for 7 dinners and 2 appetizers and a few sodas (most of us had water) was just over $150 for 7 people and we took food home. Your kids are being wasteful.

=
Portion sizes are so large that I don't think anybody is eating an appetizer, main course, and a dessert unless they are taking a lot home.
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Old 01-16-2015, 01:49 AM
 
11,894 posts, read 20,298,522 times
Reputation: 19215
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Investor View Post
My kids, who are in their 20s, don't think twice about spending $25 for lunch or $50 for dinner on a regular basis. If they go out to lunch they always have to get an appetizer, the main course, a desert and a few mixed drinks or beers. They don't think that is expensive or extravagant. That is just what all their friends spend.

Then if they go out to a bar on Saturday night, they don't think spending $50 on a cover charge and alcohol only is that unusual or extravagant. $12 drinks and a cover charge. That is what all their friends do.

Back when I was their age, we did not have access to credit cards and it was more painful to pull money out of our wallet, so we spent less, adjusted to inflation.

The younger generation is just use to spending lots of money with friends when they leave the house. Agree?
Back in the day, how many of your friends cashed their paycheck and blew most of it on the weekend? At 20, I couldn't imagine how crazy that was, and almost ALL my friends did it. If they had half a brain, they might put some back for bills, but often -- they were constantly running short.

This isn't a new thing because of credit cards. This is just normal behavior, and it will catch up to them. Hopefully, you laid the groundwork when they were younger and they WILL get it. But -- I'm 55, and I STILL know people that consistently have more month than money.
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Old 01-16-2015, 02:35 AM
bUU
 
Location: Georgia
11,904 posts, read 8,616,714 times
Reputation: 8359
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Even if I did agree with all this (and that's debatable), it's all the more reason
How would we know? We didn't live through life that way. It is easy to judge others when we don't have to deal with their reality. The closest analog we have seen in our lifetime is a time where some countries have seen runaway inflation. If you cannot buy hard assets and investments are simply evaporating, people rationally figure that spending is the best use for money.

We risk having a "futility problem" if we don't reverse some trends.
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Old 01-16-2015, 03:28 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
16,249 posts, read 10,254,420 times
Reputation: 28168
I don't think all 20 yr olds spend like that.

The 'everyone does it' mentality is no justification.

(Just because everyone does it doesn't make it right. Just because nobody does it doesn't make it wrong.)


If that's really the going rate for meals and such in your area, so be it. Maybe they should not go out as often.


As for your 'helping' them: just say no. That's the best but not the easiest way.
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Old 01-16-2015, 05:32 AM
 
4,015 posts, read 5,046,435 times
Reputation: 3897
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Investor View Post
I care because I am their father and they always complain about being broke and ask for money now and then. When I try to give them advice they tell me all their friends spend that type of money when they go out and it is required to be part of the group.
I'd tell your kids to start thinking for themselves or they're to have a very rude financial awakening if they start living even more beyond their means.
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Old 01-16-2015, 06:18 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,215 posts, read 7,879,432 times
Reputation: 7740
Good thing the OP is Retired Now (I'm guessing).
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