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Old 01-30-2015, 08:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondy View Post
I grew up in a culture where it was considered rude to discuss money, so I guess some of that bias remains.

Also, kids grow up so fast today, it seems unnecessary to burden them with adult financial information on top of that.

I think you can use allowances to teach them how to budget, delay gratification etc. I also think its important to teach them not to fall into the trap of using credit. But, that can be done by example.

Also, teaching them the value of work is important imo. But, that can be taught by giving them jobs above whats expected just to help out as a member of the family.

I remember once our youngest wanting something and my husband telling him he didn't have any money and couldn't afford it. Youngest's response was lets just go to the ATM and get some lol. Everytime husband went to ATM, son got to lean out the window and push the buttons, so he thought that was how you got money. Husband had to explain to him how many hours he had to work to get that money and that maybe next month he could have the toy he wanted.

If the family is on hard times due to job loss, etc then maybe involve them in a discussion on how cutting back is necessary, but I still don't think they need all the details.

Once they are old enough to actually comprehend financial info, then setting them up with a savings account and maybe even starting them investing with their money is a good idea imo. But, I don't think that means they need to be privy to the parents financial info.


Far too many people are ignorant about money and I believe it's largely due to the stigma it's rude or taboo to discuss
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Old 01-30-2015, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC, formerly DC and Phila
8,555 posts, read 12,617,038 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondy View Post

Also, kids grow up so fast today, it seems unnecessary to burden them with adult financial information on top of that.
I wouldn't necessarily burden my children child with the info. if they weren't interested in it. But if they show an interest in the topic, I have no problem discussing it with them. I know when I was a kid, I had an interest in the topic and would ask my parents questions. And while they didn't tell me the exact figure of my dad's income, I knew the general figure, as well as that they had savings put away for us for college, and why my dad worked extra hours at night (because it paid good money above his day job), etc. I had a decent understanding of finances and spending.

However, I grew up fairly comfortably. If my parents were in debt and didn't know where our next meal was coming from, I don't think I'd want to know that. That would be a big burden for a child. Although, as the kid gets older, it would be useful for him to have some understanding in general terms of the family's financial situation, if he hasn't already figured it out by then.
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Old 01-30-2015, 08:45 PM
 
6,432 posts, read 3,046,413 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lowexpectations View Post
Far too many people are ignorant about money and I believe it's largely due to the stigma it's rude or taboo to discuss
Possibly, but I don't think it caused me to be ignorant about money.

The rules I grew up with were that you didn't ask people(including your parents) things like how much they made or what their houses or other things cost or were worth. Of course, now, most of that info is easily determined via google.

That didn't stop me from understanding that my father worked in sales on commission so his income was variable. It was obvious when he closed a big deal because he talked about it and we got more stuff.

It didn't stop me from understanding that having a stay at home mom, I had less of the in designer stuff that my friends had who had working moms. Ditto the cost of being a stay at home mom was debating with your husband the cost of what you spent when the monthly credit card statement came in lol.

It didn't stop me from learning the value of money, because I went shopping with my mother and observed how she hunted for bargains and rejected things of poor quality or things she determined not a good value. Also, how she delayed gratification on some things.

As far as more sophisticated things about money, they couldn't have taught me anyway because they didn't know.

I cant see anything I would have learned by knowing how much my fathers salary was.
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Old 01-30-2015, 08:52 PM
 
6,432 posts, read 3,046,413 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michgc View Post
I wouldn't necessarily burden my children child with the info. if they weren't interested in it. But if they show an interest in the topic, I have no problem discussing it with them. I know when I was a kid, I had an interest in the topic and would ask my parents questions. And while they didn't tell me the exact figure of my dad's income, I knew the general figure, as well as that they had savings put away for us for college, and why my dad worked extra hours at night (because it paid good money above his day job), etc. I had a decent understanding of finances and spending.

However, I grew up fairly comfortably. If my parents were in debt and didn't know where our next meal was coming from, I don't think I'd want to know that. That would be a big burden for a child. Although, as the kid gets older, it would be useful for him to have some understanding in general terms of the family's financial situation, if he hasn't already figured it out by then.
Well kind of what I said in my last post. Its not that hard imo to figure out.

It was obvious to me without knowing how much my father made that we were comfortable and not in danger of going hungry but that we didn't have money to throw away either.

I'm not sure knowing what he made would have told me anything else.

I don't think a kid of any age under 18 or one who has never really worked really understands what $30,000 or 50,000 or 100,000 really means. And, I don't really think talking about it will make much difference in that understanding until they experience it themselves as an adult.
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Old 01-30-2015, 08:52 PM
 
18,719 posts, read 13,492,794 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondy View Post
Possibly, but I don't think it caused me to be ignorant about money.

The rules I grew up with were that you didn't ask people(including your parents) things like how much they made or what their houses or other things cost or were worth. Of course, now, most of that info is easily determined via google.

That didn't stop me from understanding that my father worked in sales on commission so his income was variable. It was obvious when he closed a big deal because he talked about it and we got more stuff.

It didn't stop me from understanding that having a stay at home mom, I had less of the in designer stuff that my friends had who had working moms. Ditto the cost of being a stay at home mom was debating with your husband the cost of what you spent when the monthly credit card statement came in lol.

It didn't stop me from learning the value of money, because I went shopping with my mother and observed how she hunted for bargains and rejected things of poor quality or things she determined not a good value. Also, how she delayed gratification on some things.

As far as more sophisticated things about money, they couldn't have taught me anyway because they didn't know.

I cant see anything I would have learned by knowing how much my fathers salary was.

you can't see education increase possibility for your parents if they openly discussed money with their parents?
And you couldn't see it between you and your parents? Well it's certainly possible if money was open and talked about kore that eduction levels would be higher. The silence and hiding is problematic

http://www.russellsage.org/blog/nest...sehold-economy
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Old 01-30-2015, 08:53 PM
 
Location: Vallejo
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Originally Posted by Lowexpectations View Post
I'm confused, they were only willing to pay "x but if you knew they had 5mm you'd have gone for more?
Yeah, likewise.

It kind of implies the stick the hand out after graduating with a pile of debt, which I'm pretty sure isn't what was meant to be inferred based on posting history. Nonetheless, it does seem to imply it.
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Old 01-30-2015, 09:12 PM
 
6,432 posts, read 3,046,413 times
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Originally Posted by Lowexpectations View Post
you can't see education increase possibility for your parents if they openly discussed money with their parents?
And you couldn't see it between you and your parents? Well it's certainly possible if money was open and talked about kore that eduction levels would be higher. The silence and hiding is problematic

Nested Silences and the Household Economy | RSF Review
Like what? Other than the basics I already discussed my parents, nor my grandparents had much to share. The basics of living within your means, saving, delaying gratification, hard work to earn money, etc I learned from their modeled behavior or in the case of a grandparent the lack thereof.

They didn't know anything about stocks/bonds, 401K's, IRA's when I was a child.

We discussed things as adults. And, as my parents through necessity in preparing for their own retirement expanded their own financial sophistication.

What would knowing their income as a child have contributed further. I cant think of anything.

I cant think of any way I have been short changed by not discussing these things with my parents other than having parents that didn't have knowledge that might have been more useful about investing.

If anything, financial education should occur in the schools imo rather than from parents who have a mixed bag of info across different levels of society.
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Old 01-30-2015, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Portal to the Pacific
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lowexpectations View Post
I'm confused, they were only willing to pay "x but if you knew they had 5mm you'd have gone for more?
My mother had so severely instilled in me the saying "children are to be seen but not heard" that I simply couldn't express and advocate for my needs. My older sister had been the "difficult one" growing up, but she flourished at university, so clearly and absolutely the same would happen to me, the "easy one". They were so confused and blind-sided when I failed to adjust to living away from them and my very close high school friends.... but they kept sending me back for 2 years until finally after a family therapy session (to be precise: after a family therapist pointed out that I wouldn't become an adult if I wasn't given opportunity to act like one such as defining my needs and voicing them...) that's when they finally asked me if I would like to switch schools... by which point I was a junior, finally settling in and getting my academics straightened out. They ended up paying for 6 years of living expenses and tuition.

My mom will sometimes comment to me (especially when I'm talking about my own kids) that it was a huge mistake not letting me be a part of that decision.
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Old 01-30-2015, 09:19 PM
 
18,719 posts, read 13,492,794 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondy View Post
Like what? Other than the basics I already discussed my parents, nor my grandparents had much to share. The basics of living within your means, saving, delaying gratification, hard work to earn money, etc I learned from their modeled behavior or in the case of a grandparent the lack thereof.

They didn't know anything about stocks/bonds, 401K's, IRA's when I was a child.

We discussed things as adults. And, as my parents through necessity in preparing for their own retirement expanded their own financial sophistication.

What would knowing their income as a child have contributed further. I cant think of anything.

I cant think of any way I have been short changed by not discussing these things with my parents other than having parents that didn't have knowledge that might have been more useful about investing.

If anything, financial education should occur in the schools imo rather than from parents who have a mixed bag of info across different levels of society.


You are clearly missing the concept. Knowing ones exactly salary doesn't provide a benefit however not keeping things hidden or secret does. The idea of open communication works to produce a better learning environment where kids are introduced to how things work, can ask questions and in the process both sides can be educated. This concept compounds generation after generation. If you are still having trouble piecing it together I'm not sure what else to tell you.


No the education should NOT come from schools rather than parents. It is a parents responsibility to educate their children and raise them properly. The school could also cover this but the mindset that a school should handle this instead of parents only shows and even further divergence between your opinion and mine
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Old 01-30-2015, 09:20 PM
 
18,719 posts, read 13,492,794 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingsaucermom View Post
My mother had so severely instilled in me the saying "children are to be seen but not heard" that I simply couldn't express and advocate for my needs. My older sister had been the "difficult one" growing up, but she flourished at university, so clearly and absolutely the same would happen to me, the "easy one". They were so confused and blind-sided when I failed to adjust to living away from them and my very close high school friends.... but they kept sending me back for 2 years until finally after a family therapy session (to be precise: after a family therapist pointed out that I wouldn't become an adult if I wasn't given opportunity to act like one such as defining my needs and voicing them...) that's when they finally asked me if I would like to switch schools... by which point I was a junior, finally settling in and getting my academics straightened out. They ended up paying for 6 years of living expenses and tuition.

My mom will sometimes comment to me (especially when I'm talking about my own kids) that it was a huge mistake not letting me be a part of that decision.


What does this have to do with you knowing or not knowing your parents were worth 5mm?
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