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My mom and dad set up an Irrevocable Trust years ago when they had plenty of assets to make it a "good idea". Dad passed away and Mom went through the money like a wildfire, mostly spending on her youngest son and 'helping' different family members here and there. She bought my sister a nice mobile home to make sure she always had a home. She bought, and paid cash, for a car for my brothers wife and paid his mortgage/car/truck/taxes for quite a while. Even set him up in a business that failed. Now I'm finding out, through the grapevine since my brother doesn't communicate with me, that she and he did some 'illegal' things with the Trust.
For whatever reason it is stated in the Trust that any homes purchased have to be considered rentals? I've never heard of such a thing and I haven't personally even seen a copy of the Trust so only know what I hear. My sister's home is considered a rental? My brother had to co sign with Mom for ALL the activities involving the Trust and now says he may "go to jail" for some things. He has been a complete jerk ever since Mom had her stroke and passed away so I don't know everything he's done. The things I'm aware of, if not illegal, have certainly been immoral when it comes to the rest of us.
I've been living in Mom's 'guest house' for nearly six years and now I find out it's not a legal rental. Oh boy. Found out they never got permits, etc. when they built it. That's not a problem though because I have bought a house and will be closing in a few weeks...fingers crossed!
Should I get a lawyer and ask them to look into all this or just let it go? Since I will be moving soon I'm tempted to just let him sink in his own slime and let it go. I want nothing from the 'estate' but should I look into it for the other siblings? I still want to see a copy of the Trust but he's not at all forthcoming. Is that legal? I don't know. I really can't afford a lawyer but maybe my other brother could help me out with that.
My mom and dad set up an Irrevocable Trust years ago when they had plenty of assets to make it a "good idea". Dad passed away and Mom went through the money like a wildfire, mostly spending on her youngest son and 'helping' different family members here and there. She bought my sister a nice mobile home to make sure she always had a home. She bought, and paid cash, for a car for my brothers wife and paid his mortgage/car/truck/taxes for quite a while. Even set him up in a business that failed. Now I'm finding out, through the grapevine since my brother doesn't communicate with me, that she and he did some 'illegal' things with the Trust.
For whatever reason it is stated in the Trust that any homes purchased have to be considered rentals? I've never heard of such a thing and I haven't personally even seen a copy of the Trust so only know what I hear. My sister's home is considered a rental? My brother had to co sign with Mom for ALL the activities involving the Trust and now says he may "go to jail" for some things. He has been a complete jerk ever since Mom had her stroke and passed away so I don't know everything he's done. The things I'm aware of, if not illegal, have certainly been immoral when it comes to the rest of us.
I've been living in Mom's 'guest house' for nearly six years and now I find out it's not a legal rental. Oh boy. Found out they never got permits, etc. when they built it. That's not a problem though because I have bought a house and will be closing in a few weeks...fingers crossed!
Should I get a lawyer and ask them to look into all this or just let it go? Since I will be moving soon I'm tempted to just let him sink in his own slime and let it go. I want nothing from the 'estate' but should I look into it for the other siblings? I still want to see a copy of the Trust but he's not at all forthcoming. Is that legal? I don't know. I really can't afford a lawyer but maybe my other brother could help me out with that.
Any suggestions as to what I should do??? Thanks!
Don't try to help them if they clearly do not want your help. This will ruin your relationship. It's fine to offer to do some legwork if they ask, but only then. Never impose.
My mom and dad set up an Irrevocable Trust years ago when they had plenty of assets to make it a "good idea". Dad passed away and Mom went through the money like a wildfire, mostly spending on her youngest son and 'helping' different family members here and there. She bought my sister a nice mobile home to make sure she always had a home. She bought, and paid cash, for a car for my brothers wife and paid his mortgage/car/truck/taxes for quite a while. Even set him up in a business that failed. Now I'm finding out, through the grapevine since my brother doesn't communicate with me, that she and he did some 'illegal' things with the Trust.
For whatever reason it is stated in the Trust that any homes purchased have to be considered rentals? I've never heard of such a thing and I haven't personally even seen a copy of the Trust so only know what I hear. My sister's home is considered a rental? My brother had to co sign with Mom for ALL the activities involving the Trust and now says he may "go to jail" for some things. He has been a complete jerk ever since Mom had her stroke and passed away so I don't know everything he's done. The things I'm aware of, if not illegal, have certainly been immoral when it comes to the rest of us.
I've been living in Mom's 'guest house' for nearly six years and now I find out it's not a legal rental. Oh boy. Found out they never got permits, etc. when they built it. That's not a problem though because I have bought a house and will be closing in a few weeks...fingers crossed!
Should I get a lawyer and ask them to look into all this or just let it go? Since I will be moving soon I'm tempted to just let him sink in his own slime and let it go. I want nothing from the 'estate' but should I look into it for the other siblings? I still want to see a copy of the Trust but he's not at all forthcoming. Is that legal? I don't know. I really can't afford a lawyer but maybe my other brother could help me out with that.
Any suggestions as to what I should do??? Thanks!
So did you rent the guest house? If not...not sure what the problem is.
Don't try to help them if they clearly do not want your help. This will ruin your relationship. It's fine to offer to do some legwork if they ask, but only then. Never impose.
The relationship is already "ruined" with my brother. I'm mainly concerned for my siblings and want him to do the 'right thing' for them. You have no idea the stress he has put on the entire family the last couple of months. He's a druggie who will take all the cash he can get to go gamble it and then complain there's "no money" to pay the gas bill. I woke up this morning to no heat. Yay. I gave him the money to pay for that, and the electric...for both houses...two weeks ago.
So did you rent the guest house? If not...not sure what the problem is.
Yes, I've been renting the guest house for nearly six years. The problem is that my brother is not being forthcoming about ANYTHING to do with the Trust and I think all involved are entitled to know what's going on. I'd also like to know if the things he's done is really "illegal" and how it will affect everything and everyone. I personally do not care one whit about any money, etc. but don't want him cheating the others. He's already hocked all Mom's good jewelry and extensive coin collection to finance his gambling and drug habit. He hasn't paid the past due utilities and I have no heat today. Wonderful. He's also been using my mom's house as a 'flop house' for his down and out druggie friends and I don't feel comfortable with that either.
The relationship is already "ruined" with my brother. I'm mainly concerned for my siblings and want him to do the 'right thing' for them. You have no idea the stress he has put on the entire family the last couple of months. He's a druggie who will take all the cash he can get to go gamble it and then complain there's "no money" to pay the gas bill. I woke up this morning to no heat. Yay. I gave him the money to pay for that, and the electric...for both houses...two weeks ago.
You may want to talk to an attorney if the trust is being accessed illegally or not according to the terms. I would, since other family members are at stake.
And from now on, pay the bills yourself, don't give them money to do it.
You may want to talk to an attorney if the trust is being accessed illegally or not according to the terms. I would, since other family members are at stake.
And from now on, pay the bills yourself, don't give them money to do it.
I gave my mom the money to pay the bills in Dec. for the Nov. charges but he had access to the money and gambled it all away while she was in the hospital. Then in Jan. cutoff notices came in the mail and I paid them too. He got mad that I didn't give him the money directly, changed mom's mailing address to his so I couldn't see it and now I don't know what's going on. As for the money I gave him for Feb., he still hasn't cashed the check. I don't think it's fair that I have to pay for both houses since he's there a lot and his friends are 'camping' there but I do it to keep MY utilities on. I am in the process of buying a house and I can't keep 'bleeding' money to him. He and his wife both work and have good paying jobs but money pours through their hands like water.
I gave my mom the money to pay the bills in Dec. for the Nov. charges but he had access to the money and gambled it all away while she was in the hospital. Then in Jan. cutoff notices came in the mail and I paid them too. He got mad that I didn't give him the money directly, changed mom's mailing address to his so I couldn't see it and now I don't know what's going on. As for the money I gave him for Feb., he still hasn't cashed the check. I don't think it's fair that I have to pay for both houses since he's there a lot and his friends are 'camping' there but I do it to keep MY utilities on. I am in the process of buying a house and I can't keep 'bleeding' money to him. He and his wife both work and have good paying jobs but money pours through their hands like water.
Are you buying the house to live in? If so, then you won't have to continue to pay utility bills on the other one "just to keep the lights on". Just leave it to them, if they choose to stay in the dark so be it. You will be paying YOUR utility bills.
If, on the other hand, you are buying that house as a rental, then the tenants will be paying the utilities.
In neither case do you pay more than one house's bills. You cover yourself first.
I gave my mom the money to pay the bills in Dec. for the Nov. charges but he had access to the money and gambled it all away while she was in the hospital. Then in Jan. cutoff notices came in the mail and I paid them too. He got mad that I didn't give him the money directly, changed mom's mailing address to his so I couldn't see it and now I don't know what's going on. As for the money I gave him for Feb., he still hasn't cashed the check. I don't think it's fair that I have to pay for both houses since he's there a lot and his friends are 'camping' there but I do it to keep MY utilities on. I am in the process of buying a house and I can't keep 'bleeding' money to him. He and his wife both work and have good paying jobs but money pours through their hands like water.
Sounds like your brother is headed for disaster.
If you were to bring legal actions what would that do? Doesn't sound like there is any money...it's not going to bring your parents back.
Why are you not paying utilities directly?
I would quit paying and move out ASAP...even if it's a temporary housing (think motel) until you close on your house.
Resign the fact that there is nothing left for you and move forward.
Was the trust set up by an attorney? Is that attorney still in practice? I would start there, by either asking for a copy of the trust documents or alerting the attorney that the terms of the trust may have been violated. Don't know how far you will get with all the privacy laws nowadays. Good luck!
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