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False. What you call heckling about the culture is actually great advice. Giving in to cultural norms is stupid, especially if it means going into 50k worth of debt when one is already 80k in the hole.
Ps. Stop instigating. It's easy to see through it.
He's already shown he doesn't need the heckling part of the advice, and that clearly, for whatever reason, this marriage is very important to him, and that's how it's done there. A lot of your cultural norms probably look foolish to him, too. I know my wife is worth more than $50K to me.
Ps. Stop trying to give condescending, dismissive orders. It opens you to the question of who appointed you the boss here.
He's already shown he doesn't need the heckling part of the advice, and that clearly, for whatever reason, this marriage is very important to him, and that's how it's done there. A lot of your cultural norms probably look foolish to him, too. I know my wife is worth more than $50K to me.
Ps. Stop trying to give condescending, dismissive orders. It opens you to the question of who appointed you the boss here.
HMM.....so, your wife is "worth more than 50k to you"? how much exactly is she worth to you, since you're objectifying her like that....55k? 60k? 63.5k? (i think what you wanted to say was that your wife's worth can't be measured in dollars...bla bla...)
just because "that's how it's done there", doesn't mean that it's the 'right' thing to do, given OP's financial situation, and if you or anyone else fails to see that, well, then that's very short sighted.
ps. it's not condescending and it's certainly not an 'order' to the OP. it's "advice", which he kinda asked for by starting this thread on the INTERNETS. go read my response in full, and pay attention this time.
it's easy to take our value system here in the US and arrogantly believe that everyone else in the world should follow it as well. for example, a $50k wedding here is a lot and considered excessive but in the culture and custom of the OP, it is normal. if he wants to get married, it will cost him $50k+. getting married for free is ideal but i know many cultures where the girl's family simply won't allow their daughter to get married to a man who doesn't provide proper dowry, etc. of course we can say "if she truly loves you, she'll marry you anyway" but family is more important to many cultures and a girl may love you but she also loves her parents, etc. hard for us to understand.
as for the OP, he should stay as far away from money as he can for the rest of his life. he has a gambling addiction and mentality where his greed always wants more. he doesn't have the patience to invest in the stock market because it requires a lot of time...and boring time at that.
my only advice at this point is to cut your losses where they are today. use your money from your job to pay back everyone except for your dad. save money towards and wedding. borrow what you can get to get married. create a budget and stick to it. and if it makes you feel better, pay back your dad but pay him back last because you have more pressing needs and your dad seems cool about it.
and don't ever gamble again. even low stakes is bad...you'll get bored after you win a few bucks saying "gee, i should be gambling with a lot more money..."
ps. it's not condescending and it's certainly not an 'order' to the OP. it's "advice", which he kinda asked for by starting this thread on the INTERNETS. go read my response in full, and pay attention this time.
It would be even less worth the energy a second time than it was the first, especially since your own comments show that you do not even follow your own advice in regard to careful reading. At least, that is the most charitable interpretation that comes to mind.
I just told my parents and they are both disappointed in me. My mom thinks Im a failure, my dad I dont know what he thinks. Ive never seen my mom look at me and talk to me the way she did. I wish I could just end my life.
It would be even less worth the energy a second time than it was the first, especially since your own comments show that you do not even follow your own advice in regard to careful reading. At least, that is the most charitable interpretation that comes to mind.
You still haven't told us how much your wife is really worth to you! We do know that it's more than 50k, but we'll need your help in putting a more accurate monetary value on her :rolleyes
You still haven't told us how much your wife is really worth to you! We do know that it's more than 50k, but we'll need your help in putting a more accurate monetary value on her :rolleyes
If you cannot get over your addiction to deliberate misconstrual of a literary device as a puerile means to make fun of someone who didn't just let you frame the 'discussion,' and take your unwarranted ridicule, I decline a share in ownership of that problem.
If you cannot get over your addiction to deliberate misconstrual of a literary device as a puerile means to make fun of someone who didn't just let you frame the 'discussion,' and take your unwarranted ridicule, I decline a share in ownership of that problem.
The point is that i think most people gave the OP great advice, including those who commented on the wedding situation. that wedding and the 50k is indeed relevant to his situation. For you to dismiss those pieces of advice and instead attack those who gave them as "hecklers" is nothing short of someone attempting to fuel a fire that doesn't need to exist.
The hard truth is that you have no business doing a $50k wedding. Sorry, but you'll have to scale it back. You want honest advice, first thing is to talk to your fiance about having a more humble ceremony.
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Not to mention this kind of speculative/gambling behavior doesn't bode well for the OP's marriage. I don't know if they have support groups for gambling addicts where the OP lives, but it sounds like that's what he needs most of all.
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