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Old 04-25-2016, 10:40 AM
 
4,369 posts, read 3,699,135 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kwong7 View Post
I would say that hasn't been my experience, but I've been with the woman who is now my wife since we were 18 and 16. I've been frugal all my life and have been investing since 15. My wife started working was she was 14 and earned below minimum wage at the local water park. She's now an attorney, which is a field where the pay discrepancy isn't nearly as bad as in other fields, yet the promotional track shows favor towards males. I retired from the workforce at 28 and have been an individual investor focusing on our passive income. I have no problem saving money and don't feel pressure at all to spend money on cars, expensive clothes, or jewelry. Don't get me wrong, we spend way more than I ever intended to on leisure, but we have to balance work and fun. We are members of 4 vineyards, have box seats at the Hollywood Bowl, go sailing on the weekends, and get a stamp in our passports every year.

To address your original question, I'd say women have it much harder than men as they typically earn 70 cents on the dollar and face a more expensive cost of living ("pink tax"). Furthermore, the cost of rearing children and the potential for divorce leaves women in a less favorable position compared to men. Thinking about things through if I were to date someone, I would take them out for an average night out so we can get to know our real selves. I would forego the expensive dinner or theater and just go somewhere that's nice and normal. I would attempt to impress them with my charm, wit, and conversation skills. I'd offer to pay, but she'd score bonus points if she wouldn't expect me to or offered to pay herself. The fancy meal would come on the 3rd date, which is pretty much the ratio my wife and I enjoy. Frankly, I don't see the point in spending a bunch of money on prospects that won't go anywhere…but I've been an investor for the majority of my life!

I don't know if my advice would give you the results you're looking for, but I guarantee you'll have an easier time saving money. My wife jokes that my perspective might be quite unique since I've never been starved for…let's just call it affection (if there's kids in the room).
Women usually make out like a bandit from divorces. In fact attractive women never need to work, they just need to lure in a rich man.
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Old 04-25-2016, 10:52 AM
 
Location: In the outlet by the lightswitch
2,306 posts, read 1,691,471 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perma Bear View Post
Women usually make out like a bandit from divorces. In fact attractive women never need to work, they just need to lure in a rich man.
Only a few women make out like bandits. Most are worse off financially after divorce--especially if they end up as the custodial parent. After Divorce, Women Rebound Faster But Stay In Poverty Longer

Quote:

a typical woman endures a 73 percent reduction in her standard of living after a divorce. Her typical ex-husband enjoys a 42 percent increased standard of living.

That’s largely because raising children is expensive and time consuming, and mothers still raise children more often than fathers do. According to a 2009 analysis by the U.S. census bureau, just 17 percent of fathers have sole custody of their minor children.

Non-custodial parents are typically ordered to pay child support, but ordering that child support and actually collecting it can be quite different things. Only 61 percent of court-ordered child support is ever paid.
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Old 04-25-2016, 11:41 AM
 
462 posts, read 546,197 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
UFB!! That is a notion that is right out of the early part of the last century.


I take it you are not married and not sharing living arrangements.

Yes I am married as a matter of fact. Of course not every expense is cut in half, but your home expenses are. Women who are not stay at home moms work nowadays, I think you are the one stuck in the early 1900s here.
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Old 04-25-2016, 01:49 PM
 
7,898 posts, read 7,077,930 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madbach View Post
Yes I am married as a matter of fact. Of course not every expense is cut in half, but your home expenses are. Women who are not stay at home moms work nowadays, I think you are the one stuck in the early 1900s here.
Not even counting raising kids, I don't see a great deal of savings for two people living together. We save some on housing, but I am not sure how much. People need some space and our apartments and houses have always been bigger than either of us would need. We don't eat any less. I don't use my wife's cosmetics or clothing. We have two cars out of necessity. When we worked that was really necessary. Now that we are retired I find that also the case. We don't do the same things or go the same places and one of us would be stranded if we only had one car. We each have our own photography and other hobby gear.


I would guess if we figured it out in detail, we only save at best 20% over what is would take to live separately.
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Old 04-25-2016, 02:02 PM
 
1,212 posts, read 2,242,533 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
Not even counting raising kids, I don't see a great deal of savings for two people living together. We save some on housing, but I am not sure how much. People need some space and our apartments and houses have always been bigger than either of us would need. We don't eat any less. I don't use my wife's cosmetics or clothing. We have two cars out of necessity. When we worked that was really necessary. Now that we are retired I find that also the case. We don't do the same things or go the same places and one of us would be stranded if we only had one car. We each have our own photography and other hobby gear.


I would guess if we figured it out in detail, we only save at best 20% over what is would take to live separately.
Saving on shared living space has been the greatest and easiest method for us to save money, assuming that each person makes enough to share the expense equally. We also eat at home and stay in to watch movies, which saves $$ on dining out and entertainment.
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Old 04-25-2016, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,875 posts, read 6,780,396 times
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I always saved WAY more when I was single and dating vs. having a girlfriend.

When you have a girlfriend you have to buy Christmas and Birthday Gifts. You also tend to go out more because I am never going to go out to eat alone. I typically travel more with a girlfriend because we want to do cool things and again, I would never travel alone for leisure.

My girlfriend is amazing and I definitely don't feel like we NEED to do these things but they are fun! Plus she pays her full half of any of the vacations we went on, which is awesome. Still, I vacation quite a bit more now that I am dating her.

When I was single and dating I would usually go out for drinks during the game to some dive bar with my buddies. Cheap night when you're only paying for yourself. The occasional date I did go on it was expensive but lets face it, I didn't go on THAT many dates for it to concern me. At best, you're probably only dating once a week. If you are going on that many dates and not finding a girlfriend, then there must be something wrong....
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Old 04-25-2016, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Suburban wasteland of NC
354 posts, read 279,359 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brendan-lyle/after-divorce-women-rebou_1_b_1970733.html
a typical woman endures a 73 percent reduction in her standard of living after a divorce. Her typical ex-husband enjoys a 42 percent increased standard of living.
Sure, but that little blurb could be horribly misleading. Say I married Krysten Ritter, keep working the job I have now during the marriage, then later she divorces me. Whammo, even if I kept my current job throughout the marriage and divorce I'd still be showing a X% reduction in my standard of living post divorce.
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Old 04-25-2016, 09:21 PM
 
4,369 posts, read 3,699,135 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary View Post
Only a few women make out like bandits. Most are worse off financially after divorce--especially if they end up as the custodial parent. After Divorce, Women Rebound Faster But Stay In Poverty Longer
A woman divorcing me would take half my assets and (if I have a kid) force me to pay for something monthly I'd rather trade my rights away for. That would not make me happier at all, it would ruin me.
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Old 04-26-2016, 07:36 AM
 
Location: In the outlet by the lightswitch
2,306 posts, read 1,691,471 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happygeek View Post
Sure, but that little blurb could be horribly misleading. Say I married Krysten Ritter, keep working the job I have now during the marriage, then later she divorces me. Whammo, even if I kept my current job throughout the marriage and divorce I'd still be showing a X% reduction in my standard of living post divorce.
Read the article for more info, but in a nutshell what happens is where, when married, the cost of children was split pretty evenly. When divorced, a lot of men don't support their own children, so the woman ends up paying for all the cost of raising children and the man suddenly doesn't have that expense any more.

Granted, this can work the opposite way too since it's mainly the parent who ends up with custody who gets hit harder economically. A buddy of mine has full custody of his daughter and the ex-wife has visitation. This is because his job as a teacher allows for better child care than her job as a sales rep. She has been slacking on child support lately and he's barely scraping by because of it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Perma Bear View Post
A woman divorcing me would take half my assets and (if I have a kid) force me to pay for something monthly I'd rather trade my rights away for. That would not make me happier at all, it would ruin me.
This is what I don't get. Who are these guys going around marrying women with no assets and no job? If you marry someone who is pretty much your equal, then when you marry, you double your income and assets. If you happen to divorce, things are split and you just go back to where you were before. And since you had a wife who worked, no alimony. And when married you always pay "support" for your kids, why should that stop when you are no longer married to their mother unless, like the wife above, you are some kind of selfish deadbeat who doesn't care for one's own kids?

Although that said, the legal costs of marriage are pretty expensive even in the most amicable of splits. And I'd imagine for most people, living alone ends up costing more than living with someone (you can cut so many costs in "half" by living with someone as opposed to two separate households) and that "Feels" harder than when you were single because you got used to living a little more cheaply.
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Old 04-26-2016, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Suburban wasteland of NC
354 posts, read 279,359 times
Reputation: 361
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary View Post
Read the article for more info, but in a nutshell what happens is where, when married, the cost of children was split pretty evenly. When divorced, a lot of men don't support their own children, so the woman ends up paying for all the cost of raising children and the man suddenly doesn't have that expense any more.

Granted, this can work the opposite way too since it's mainly the parent who ends up with custody who gets hit harder economically. A buddy of mine has full custody of his daughter and the ex-wife has visitation. This is because his job as a teacher allows for better child care than her job as a sales rep. She has been slacking on child support lately and he's barely scraping by because of it.
I did read the article, the problem is being the Huffington Post it was rather vague, click baity, and didn't say if my hypothetical scenario was the case, what you put in the paragraph above, some combination, who knows.

Another issue with their little blurb; standard of living doesn't equal household income. If a couple is making $50,000 each then their household income is $100,000. When they divorce they both experience a 50% drop in household income. Now whether they change their standard of living is a whole other thing. The HP article didn't touch on this.

I'm not trying to bash men or women btw, I'm bashing the HP and their misleading blurbs. That and their ad laden articles.
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