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Oh yeah. I have a friend with whom I like to hang out, but I always have to think before I speak because she is nosy as all get-out and likes to know everyone's business. She tells me things about other friends' finances, so I have no doubt she would tell mine. I am retired, but made a pretty decent salary for a person without a college degree. However, I know that telling people what I make automatically brings judgment into the picture (what is she doing with all that money? Why is she in debt if she makes THAT?)
Last year when I was contemplating taking retirement and finding a more local job, she said, "I see jobs advertised or hear of certain things from time to time, but I don't know if they'd be right for you because I don't know how much money you make." Followed by an expectant stare. I just laughed and changed the subject.
She and another woman buy the software and do taxes for some people in the neighborhood for a modest fee. She asked me who does my taxes. I told her I do my own using TurboTax. Never in a million years would I let this woman see my personal finances. I pretty much know all the details of the finances of all the other people she does taxes for, and I've never even met some of them.
First of all, if your friend is doing peoples taxes and then revealing their clients personal info to other people I think she could get into some trouble at some point. I would hope so. Please tell her so next time she tells you what she knows about someone else. Tell her out of concern for her getting into trouble. I think if you word it that way she may stop telling you at least and maybe think about what shes doing to other people that are trusting her and paying her money for that trust. You would be doing them a favor because shes horrible and I'm sure all those people have no idea shes betraying them.
I have a previous post in this thread describing where I was on a ski lift with a friend doing this so I couldn't leave. I don't care how many times you change the subject he just keeps trying.
But sharing in a forum is different than face to face. I understand what you're saying in a way because at one point I picked up a book that can't remember the title of now, wish I could. It advised above all else that if you want to improve your life look into increasing your wealth. Went on to explain how the belief that money is the root of all evil is really backward. It's true. Poverty is the root of all evil and if everyone could manage their finances better there would be less crime. Good book. Written by someone who shared. I know it helped me.
Our own personal experience in sharing with people hasn't turned out so good for us. So what am I doing wrong?
i have no idea what you are doing wrong or the context and root of the conversation .
To me there is a difference between salary and financial status.
To me as well, but the OP's original post was referring almost exclusively to salary. And that's the one part of a person's overall financial situation that is is genuinely hard to conceal. (And as I mentioned with the Lily Ledbetter case, there are some strong arguments for why it actually shouldn't be completely concealed in many cases.)
Like you, I think common sense, basic manners, and a reasonable amount of discretion are better than a blanket "never talk about money!" rule. I've never been in a social situation where the topic would have been appropriate conversation, but my very close friends and immediate family do have a pretty good idea of where I stand financially, and I think that's fine.
She's a woman talking to other women. That's what it is.
Wrong. The worse case of this was my husband talking about real estate investments with someone we know. Also a man. In fact, he's more likely to give it away than I am because he loves talking about what he does and he's a lot more trusting. You have no reason to insult me. I've done nothing to you.
But sharing in a forum is different than face to face. I understand what you're saying in a way because at one point I picked up a book that can't remember the title of now, wish I could. It advised above all else that if you want to improve your life look into increasing your wealth. Went on to explain how the belief that money is the root of all evil is really backward. It's true. Poverty is the root of all evil and if everyone could manage their finances better there would be less crime. Good book. Written by someone who shared. I know it helped me.
Our own personal experience in sharing with people hasn't turned out so good for us. So what am I doing wrong?
The expression that is often (mis)quoted is that, "the love of money is the root of all evil." I think that is more accurate than, "poverty" being the root. There are many upstanding and moral poor people. Bernie Madoff certainly wasn't impoverished (or even close).
In reality there are also a lot of moral people who are focused on increasing their wealth who aren't necessarily either. The most accurate expression might be that "greed is the root of much of the evil in the world" - can't even say "all."
Wrong. The worse case of this was my husband talking about real estate investments with someone we know. Also a man. In fact, he's more likely to give it away than I am because he loves talking about what he does and he's a lot more trusting. You have no reason to insult me. I've done nothing to you.
I wasn't insulting you. I was projecting based on my own experience (female here too).
It's probably more accurate to say that personal finance and wealth are sensitive subjects for many people.
The expression that is often (mis)quoted is that, "the love of money is the root of all evil." I think that is more accurate than, "poverty" being the root. There are many upstanding and moral poor people. Bernie Madoff certainly wasn't impoverished (or even close).
In reality there are also a lot of moral people who are focused on increasing their wealth who aren't necessarily either. The most accurate expression might be that "greed is the root of much of the evil in the world" - can't even say "all."
Not even close, many people with little to no money are not evil and I don't think Ted Bundy lacked money........
If you had to walk through a strange neighborhood at night would you feel safer in a rich more affluent place or the poorest ghetto neighborhood?
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