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1 couple is frugal as all heck and millionaires, both people earning a high salary
1 couple has a life and only 1 of them earns a high salary but they have paid off their house and own 2 more in mexico
1 couple has a life and only 1 of them earns a high salary. Not sure how they are financially but they are comfortable and travel to local places whenever they want.
I've got 3 kids and we never got to the point of being able to help them with college. My oldest is now working to pay her way through college and taking loans.
I wouldn't change much except maybe moving out of NY earlier in our lives.
Can you PLEASE break out all of the expenses during this time period so everyone can see how you did this? Also how long did this last, from age 0 - 5 in terms of the kids, or 0 - 12, or 0 - 18?
Please provide the numbers on this, thanks.
We did it with a lot less when our kids were tiny. We were closer to 40 grand. Managed to pay the bills and the house payment on our tiny little older house, bought used cars. We had no credit cards and not a lot of extra money. It required neither of us being selfish or keeping score. If you aren't able to work together with someone else to get through tougher financial times I wouldn't recommend ever getting married and having children. You may have to set aside what you want in order to consider what everyone needs. Divorce happens because of selfishness on the part of at least one partner, sometimes both. It always comes down to that.
So much of the stuff you bring up has nothing to do with white privlege. How is white privlege causing black families to be one parent households? While I would agree its a bad idea to do this, there is a way to prevent it. You can't blame someomes bad choices and lack of planning on other people.
We did it with a lot less when our kids were tiny. We were closer to 40 grand. Managed to pay the bills and the house payment on our tiny little older house, bought used cars. We had no credit cards and not a lot of extra money.
Can you PLEASE break out the numbers on this? Again, you are taking in $40k a year, how much is housing, transportation, child-related expenses (care, diapers, recreation, etc.), food, utilities, insurance, healthcare, etc, etc.
Can you PLEASE break out these numbers? I would really like to see how you guys are doing it with $40k - $60k a year in income from one working person, with a family of 4 or 5.
Quote:
Originally Posted by I love boots.
So much of the stuff you bring up has nothing to do with white privlege. How is white privlege causing black families to be one parent households? While I would agree its a bad idea to do this, there is a way to prevent it. You can't blame someomes bad choices and lack of planning on other people.
I said not a damn thing about white privilege, I'm not a Social Justice Warrior. I said a lot of stay at home mothers are spoiled and privileged with their $150k in a low cost of living area husband, thinking that their "work day" even MEASURES UP to that of a single mother in the inner city with 2 - 3 kids and no help from the Father.
Do you "sweat" when you cook, clean and take care of the babies? I'm sure you do. But to even say that MEASURES up to a single mother who has to cook, clean, take care of babies, AND work two jobs while going to school on the side because she has NO help from the Father....is insane. I cringe when stay at home mothers talk about how "hard they work"....I CRINGE. Switch places with a single mother in the inner city for a month and then report back to me about HARD WORK!
It's BOTH, like I already said. You are so obviously confused and incorrect, I'm not even going to spend time "discussing" with someone who doesn't seem to understand that the cost of living on things TODAY is significantly higher than 50 years ago, and that we have had a very long period of low wage and wealth growth for everyone EXCEPT those in the higher income brackets.
In other words, after I have repeatedly showed you that these things you keep claiming are OBJECTIVELY WRONG, you "don't want to spend time 'discussing'" them.
You first said that "inflation is through the roof", when it is NOT! Yes, "things cost more than they used to", but that rate of increase is near it's LOWEST since World War II. Even if we look at the last 25 years, that rate is awfully low overall. So again, you're totally wrong, no matter how much you want to keep saying the opposite.
Your second point was that wages haven't kept up with inflation. So not only do things "cost more" (although that increase in cost has been very low for quite a number of years now), but people's earning power has not kept up, so the earning power of one "average" person buys significantly less than it used to, hence the need for 2 income.
Unfortunately for you, I also brought up the data showing MEDIAN wages per person (you do know the difference between "median" and "mean", right? Just for clarification, outsized income growth in the higher brackets has very little impact on median. You can see that yes, wage growth has skewed more towards the higher end (again: https://www.ssa.gov/oact/cola/central.html), but even so, just looking at MEDIAN, wage growth has OUTPACED inflation over the last 25 years.
I realize that facts and data won't do a darn thing to change your mind, but it's still worth it to present them to point out where you are making assertions that are wrong.
Can you PLEASE break out all of the expenses during this time period so everyone can see how you did this? Also how long did this last, from age 0 - 5 in terms of the kids, or 0 - 12, or 0 - 18?
Please provide the numbers on this, thanks.
I do not own a child but did my own research to see were that 250k cost per child came from.
Here are the expenses they recommend for children aged between 15 - 17.
Total yearly = $15,830
Housing: $4,880 - Includes the extra amount you'll spend annually on shelter (mortgage interest, property taxes, or rent; maintenance and repairs; insurance), utilities (gas, electricity, fuel, telephone, and water), and home furnishings and equipment (furniture, floor coverings, major appliances, and small appliances) if you have a child. Mortgage principal payments are considered savings and are not included.
Food: $2,730 - Includes the extra amount you'll spend annually on food and nonalcoholic beverages purchased at grocery, convenience, and specialty stores; dining at restaurants; and school meals if you have a child.
Transportation: $2,290 - Includes the extra amount you'll spend annually to buy new and used vehicles, vehicle finance charges, gasoline and motor oil, maintenance and repairs, insurance, and public transportation if you have a child.
Clothing: $1,010 - Includes the average amount you'll spend annually on your child's apparel, such as diapers, shirts, pants, and dresses; footwear; and clothing services such as dry cleaning, alterations and repair, and storage.
Healthcare: $1,300 - Includes the average amount you'll spend annually on your child's medical and dental expenses not covered by insurance, prescription drugs and medical supplies not covered by insurance, and health insurance premiums not paid by your employer or other organizations.
Childcare and education: $2,410 - Includes the average amount you'll spend annually on your child's daycare tuition and supplies; babysitting; and elementary and high school tuition, books, and supplies.
Misc.: $1,210 - Includes the average amount you'll spend annually on your child's personal care items, entertainment, and reading materials.
Elementary and high school tuition? I thought public school is free has that recently changed or something? Also textbooks in public schools are free also, I do not remember having to pay for books while in public school. Someone who is 15 - 18 does not need daycare but for some reason they add it to the calculations.
I feel like categories like transportation, childcare/education, housing can be removed and applied/calculated differently in ones finances.
I said not a damn thing about white privilege, I'm not a Social Justice Warrior. I said a lot of stay at home mothers are spoiled and privileged with their $150k in a low cost of living area husband, thinking that their "work day" even MEASURES UP to that of a single mother in the inner city with 2 - 3 kids and no help from the Father.
Do you "sweat" when you cook, clean and take care of the babies? I'm sure you do. But to even say that MEASURES up to a single mother who has to cook, clean, take care of babies, AND work two jobs while going to school on the side because she has NO help from the Father....is insane. I cringe when stay at home mothers talk about how "hard they work"....I CRINGE. Switch places with a single mother in the inner city for a month and then report back to me about HARD WORK!
I remember reading an article about a women who is a CEO of a major company and has a child. She works full time and has a nanny watch her child. So if she was a single mother she would have no problem raising her child so what is your point, that you need money to raise a child
I said not a damn thing about white privilege, I'm not a Social Justice Warrior. I said a lot of stay at home mothers are spoiled and privileged with their $150k in a low cost of living area husband, thinking that their "work day" even MEASURES UP to that of a single mother in the inner city with 2 - 3 kids and no help from the Father.
Do you "sweat" when you cook, clean and take care of the babies? I'm sure you do. But to even say that MEASURES up to a single mother who has to cook, clean, take care of babies, AND work two jobs while going to school on the side because she has NO help from the Father....is insane. I cringe when stay at home mothers talk about how "hard they work"....I CRINGE. Switch places with a single mother in the inner city for a month and then report back to me about HARD WORK!
Dude.
No one. NO ONE said ANYTHING about "single mothers in the inner city!" Literally you are the ONLY POSTER who mentioned any comparison between stay at home moms and poor single moms.
This doesn't even make any sense. None at all.
I know poor single moms have it tougher than I do. I can't imagine any parent would argue otherwise!! But how does the fact their life sucks mean that I shouldn't stay home to raise my kids??? Where is the logic in this?
You know that cringe-y feeling you mentioned? That's the way we feel when you espouse your opinions on women and marriage as if you've discovered all the answers. When clearly you have no clue what your talking about.
Can you PLEASE break out all of the expenses during this time period so everyone can see how you did this? Also how long did this last, from age 0 - 5 in terms of the kids, or 0 - 12, or 0 - 18?
Please provide the numbers on this, thanks.
30 years of monthly budgets? No. I neither have all of that data. Nor am I willing to invest so many hours into showing you how to budget money.
There are dozens of home budgeting guides available to you.
We have been married for 35 years. During this period of time we have raised five children. We were married in 1981 when I was making around $25k. In 1985 we had our first child. My earnings peaked in the 1995 to 2001 time frame, at around $60k/year. I retired in 2001 and that was when my wife started working.
Can you PLEASE break out the numbers on this? Again, you are taking in $40k a year, how much is housing, transportation, child-related expenses (care, diapers, recreation, etc.), food, utilities, insurance, healthcare, etc, etc.
Can you PLEASE break out these numbers? I would really like to see how you guys are doing it with $40k - $60k a year in income from one working person, with a family of 4 or 5.
I said not a damn thing about white privilege, I'm not a Social Justice Warrior. I said a lot of stay at home mothers are spoiled and privileged with their $150k in a low cost of living area husband, thinking that their "work day" even MEASURES UP to that of a single mother in the inner city with 2 - 3 kids and no help from the Father.
Do you "sweat" when you cook, clean and take care of the babies? I'm sure you do. But to even say that MEASURES up to a single mother who has to cook, clean, take care of babies, AND work two jobs while going to school on the side because she has NO help from the Father....is insane. I cringe when stay at home mothers talk about how "hard they work"....I CRINGE. Switch places with a single mother in the inner city for a month and then report back to me about HARD WORK!
Why are so many of them single parents? Did they have any choice? I think they did. It doesn't have to happen that way. If to begin with the vast majority are taking up with a loser that is no help at all whose fault is that? It isn't that I"m privileged that kept me out of that. Some of us are smarter. We put a lot more thought into choosing who our life partner is. Their problem isn't lack of privilege. You can't blame bad decisions on lack of privilege. Bad decisions can land you in situations where you work harder and end up with much less. I don't care where you live, you don't have to end up like that. Most of the time people are living the life they chose.
When I had tiny kids it was about 20 years ago. Yes things have inflated some since then, but that wasn't a lot of money even then. My husbands job had health benefits and we did manage to pay for all the things on your list. For a few years it took nearly every penny until he worked his way up to job foreman. Pay and bonuses grew. Family of 3 for a couple years, then 4. Too long ago to remember what things cost, but we made it on very little.
No one. NO ONE said ANYTHING about "single mothers in the inner city!" Literally you are the ONLY POSTER who mentioned any comparison between stay at home moms and poor single moms.
This doesn't even make any sense. None at all.
I know poor single moms have it tougher than I do. I can't imagine any parent would argue otherwise!! But how does the fact their life sucks mean that I shouldn't stay home to raise my kids??? Where is the logic in this?
You know that cringe-y feeling you mentioned? That's the way we feel when you espouse your opinions on women and marriage as if you've discovered all the answers. When clearly you have no clue what your talking about.
Well said. He seems to think we are doing something wrong if our life isn't constant drudgery and our family finds enjoyment in the way we are living it.
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