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Old 08-25-2016, 09:51 AM
 
Location: Florida -
10,213 posts, read 14,789,658 times
Reputation: 21845

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
This is completely hypothetical.

The conversation started with a meeting with my attorney. But it was later fueled when a friend that went on vacation with us complained that he spent his whole paycheck on whatever, while on vacation. I lit him up because, I spent 4 times the amount that week. I paid for the lodging, theme park tickets, some of the food, gas to get there, and other stuff.

It seemed to start that way, but, some of your other posts (#9, #30, etc) have made it seem like more of an actual, personal situation.
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Old 08-25-2016, 10:07 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,018,431 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
It seemed to start that way, but, some of your other posts (#9, #30, etc) have made it seem like more of an actual, personal situation.
It is not at this time. Maybe someday later in the future. I have high hopes of someday meeting a life partner.

But it does make you wonder how I would handle finances with a partner. We would not be building an empire together. Most I have dated, make way more than me but don't have a quarter of what I have.

My last boyfriend and I use to argue about paying out. I never had money to spend, he did. I could stay home for free. He had no expenses. I could not split everything.
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Old 08-25-2016, 10:10 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,415 posts, read 47,402,095 times
Reputation: 47675
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Generally the men I have dated come from limited financial means. Even more limited than my means, which are also slim.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Most I have dated, make way more than me but don't have a quarter of what I have.

???
You can't claim both!
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Old 08-25-2016, 10:22 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,018,431 times
Reputation: 5963
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
???
You can't claim both!
They make way more than me, but don't seem to have any actual assets, savings or money.

What do we call that? I don't call it as having means.
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Old 08-25-2016, 10:30 AM
 
26,181 posts, read 21,481,737 times
Reputation: 22766
I think you should focus more on possibly finding the right person before laying out a road map of steps 2-200. After finding the right person and the relationship advancing then the mature adult thing to do is to sit down and have a conversation with said person before they move in and come to an agreement on things should be handled. I know it sounds crazy but a little communication can go a long way. Who says this made up person would want to live in your house? Or that they wouldn't mind paying all of the bills?
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Old 08-25-2016, 10:47 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,660 posts, read 57,778,624 times
Reputation: 46126
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
This is completely hypothetical.

The conversation started with a meeting with my attorney. ....
continue the conversation with an estate planning attorney who knows your state regs, and your objectives. I presume you are NOT in a community property state.

Can probably accomplish your wishes using a living trust.

incoming partner should share until marriage, and 100% align / respect your wishes for transfer of your assets to your kids. As you mutually acquire assets while married, there are many ways to designate heirs and equally split mutual assets. Set your kids up with access to enough cash to buy out their positions if necessary.

Avoid 'dating' for significant advantages. Find Mr. Right through a mature friendship, rather than 'facade dating', and you will establish the relationship much farther down the road to mutual reality.
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Old 08-25-2016, 10:54 AM
 
Location: SoCal
20,160 posts, read 12,713,073 times
Reputation: 16993
Quote:
Originally Posted by SaucyAussie View Post
What if he was paying $3K/month for a luxury apartment? He should now pay that to share a house??


Why should living costs be split down the middle? Aren't a portion of those living costs attributable to the kids? Should he be paying the kids portion also?
Why not? I get rid of men who pinch pennies like that. My daughter's best friend college tuition was paid by her step dad. Her real dad didn't have any to give her.
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Old 08-25-2016, 11:16 AM
 
26,181 posts, read 21,481,737 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
Why not? I get rid of men who pinch pennies like that. My daughter's best friend college tuition was paid by her step dad. Her real dad didn't have any to give her.
Did your daughter's best friend's mother segregate her premarital assets away from the husband/stepfather? It's a slightly different twist we are talking about if that's not the case
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Old 08-25-2016, 11:19 AM
 
3,050 posts, read 4,984,973 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
Why not? I get rid of men who pinch pennies like that. My daughter's best friend college tuition was paid by her step dad. Her real dad didn't have any to give her.

Oh I agree but she can't have it both ways. She either has to commingle finances or keep them separate.


So she can't, on one hand say that she doesn't want to support another dependent, she doesn't want her husband to benefit from her home ownership, and on then on the other hand expect the new husband to help financially support her kids.


But now that we know this is just an imaginary husband, kind of makes it all moot.
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Old 08-25-2016, 11:24 AM
 
Location: SoCal
20,160 posts, read 12,713,073 times
Reputation: 16993
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lowexpectations View Post
Did your daughter's best friend's mother segregate her premarital assets away from the husband/stepfather? It's a slightly different twist we are talking about if that's not the case
Who knows? I don't really have the specifics. But her step father is a successful executive and her mom works. So I think they must commingle finance after the marriage, but I don't know if her mom had any money. She was a single mom with 2 kids.
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