Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This seems to be the best section to post this. I'm engaged, but have a couple of questions re: debt & health insurance:
1) One person has a lot of debt (about $85K in student loans, another $25K credit cards). The other has NO debt. If we marry, the one w/ debt doesn't want the other's salary tied into this to determine loan repayment. If we marry, it automatically would & there's no way around it, correct?
2) Both of us have a health issue or two, in which it more than likely won't improve as we age (most health issues don't). The one w/ more health probs gets govt assistance due to not making much on the job. How would our current health insurance change if we marry. What if one person doesn't want to be under the other's job's health ins. OR what if that person's job won't cover it all? Who can anonymously answer questions about this kind of thing?
Any other input, comments, links, etc. related to these topics? I don't know who to turn to w/ these kinds of questions. TIA.
I don't have enough knowledge to answer your questions with any degree of certainty but have you thought of doing a prenup agreement? I know it's not the most romantic thing to do but it can save you a lot of grief down the road. It'll not only help with the issues you present but also other financial issues as well (ex. any assets owned before marriage), if you two separate. I don't care how both of you feel now, people change over their lifetime. You and your partner may very well be together happily to the very end but you really don't want to have added financial strain in addition to emotional strain if you ever go through a breakup, trust me on this.
1) One person has a lot of debt (about $85K in student loans, another $25K credit cards). 2) Both of us have a health issue or two... 3) The one w/ more health probs gets govt assistance due to not making much on the job.
Any other input, comments...?
They say that love can conquor all.... but they lie.
Finance problems alone are the root of at least half of divorces
and will play a part in most of the others as well.
This seems to be the best section to post this. I'm engaged, but have a couple of questions re: debt & health insurance:
1) One person has a lot of debt (about $85K in student loans, another $25K credit cards). The other has NO debt. If we marry, the one w/ debt doesn't want the other's salary tied into this to determine loan repayment. If we marry, it automatically would & there's no way around it, correct?
2) Both of us have a health issue or two, in which it more than likely won't improve as we age (most health issues don't). The one w/ more health probs gets govt assistance due to not making much on the job. How would our current health insurance change if we marry. What if one person doesn't want to be under the other's job's health ins. OR what if that person's job won't cover it all? Who can anonymously answer questions about this kind of thing?
Any other input, comments, links, etc. related to these topics? I don't know who to turn to w/ these kinds of questions. TIA.
1. Your wages can be kept separate. The loan repayment can strictly be paid from the person who has the loan. Your name won't go on the loan the other person has. Unless you refi and get the loan under both names. My buddy had 40k in student loans, when he got married his wife had nothing to do with his loans repayment
2. Your current health insurance won't change. You simply don't add the other overs on to your policy. My wife is retired and I'm still working and she's on my health ins. Her Medicare picks up what my insurance doesn't.
When we got married we united everything. Neither of us had debt but what we did have we paid off together
The insurance we put each other on our respective policies.
My advice to you is don't get married. It sounds like you're more worried about your finances and possibly having to pay off the other persons debt and paying for their health insurance.
Thanks so far for everyone's helpful input! (Some sections of this thread are just filled w/ non-serious posts, sarcasm, &/or unnecessary lecturing.)
This is what I was afraid of. So if we're not married by law, nothing's technically on paper to be combined or be held accountable for the other person. I don't care about a pre-nup really at this point, but it's still something to think about. Oh well, I guess we'll just stay together forever & do everything like married couples do like Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell who never got married. Also, I live in a state (California) that doesn't acknowledge common law marriage.
ContraPagan, like you said, I also know about that Income-Based Repayment program for student loans.
There is a question on there that definitely takes TOTAL household income into consideration.
Another question: So we rent where we're living now, but if we want to buy a house, does one person buy it under their name (& can add the other's name on later) OR can both people's incomes be considered or what?
Recognize that marriage licenses are from the government, designed by and for the government. They have absolutely no standing regarding love and nothing to do with commitment, other than the way the government decides you are legally entangled.
My first mate had expensive health issues while I was struggling financially myself and in absolutely no position to cover the costs. The situation is far worse today, with "retail" health charges multiple times more pricey that what government programs allow and providers accept. We were unable to marry, and legally I was a tenant and paid her a stipend for room and board. There were ethics questions I had to wrestle with, but the bottom line was that she would have died without the aid she was getting, meaning I would have been party to murder by proxy had we married, the government managing medical costs using its immense power made the aid she got stretch, and nowhere is it written that people who receive aid have to live miserable lives. If that were the case, the CEOs of the auto companies that were bailed out should be living in shacks and eating Ramen, Wall Street bankers should be living under bridges like the trolls they are, and a certain person in high power should be on the streets panhandling.
Financial discord is the most common reason for divorces. Not saying this is going to happen in your case, but something to think about.
How old you are and whether there are other extended family/kids to care for would also make some difference.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
