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I am in a situation. I never brought up bank stuff since the last time I did, which was a while ago. Today my mom remembered that I never brought it up and said on my day off this week on Friday I should open a savings account like I wanted to that day a while ago. Then she said I had to go with my dad to bank because savings accounts get confusing on which one to open, so that's why I need another person to go with me. It sounded like she was up to something so I just said that no one needs to go because its not that hard to figure out - I just go to bank and tell them my preferences, and then they tell me what account to open up. It is really not that hard or anything. For me at least, I don't have much money to put in savings account, so its not like I can open up a fancy account or an account with high amounts (until the future to see if I can switch accounts based on money I saved up), which I would say.
Then it was obvious that she was up to something because then she says that she wanted my dad going because she wanted him on the account with me and if he goes to the bank with me and he says he wants to be on the account with me, then I can't say anything because he is there. Then I tried telling her that I don't need him on the account with me, and then she tries to convince me I am doing something illegal by not having them on there (she literally came out and said I wanted to do something illegal by only having me on the account and not one of them) and then she tries to tell me the bank requires another person name, and I knew she was BS'n me, so I came right out and said she was lying to me because banks don't require another person to be on the account. Then she told me that's why they wouldn't give me permission to open my own account (with them going to bank with me to tell them they give me permission to open my own account) because I can't be trusted because I don't know the legal way to do things.
Then she said it was the same thing with my brother because he has savings account and they had to go to bank with him to open account because he can't open one without another person, which would be them. Then she started going on about how my aunt (her sister) did something wrong by opening up a savings account with her name on it only and she doesn't know how because they require another person on account, and doesn't know how she was able to open it without another person. Then she said how she was doing something wrong, and then something wrong because only she can access her money and not another person.
Then she said if I don't want them on account and try to open one myself, then they will find a way for me not to go to bank, even if it means taking my car just so I don't go because then then I won't have a way there to do something illegal. That included work because she would drop me off and then pick me up just to see I don't go to bank after work to open up the account.
Now I have no clue what to do because I know they are going crazy and at first I tried telling her, but then it was pointless trying to talk to a literal brick wall. So now I have no clue what to do with the account. Like I said earlier, I tried telling her I knew she was lying and I can open it by myself without them on it, and like I said, I know I can open account with just me on it. Now I know how crazy her/they are getting, and now I have no clue what to do. I know I can move out, but don't have money yet (obviously) because I have been working only 2 months.
Just go to the bank and deal with it like a responsible adult would do. They will explain to you different plans, and help you with all your questions. It's their job, and they do it every day. No need for your dad to come along. Don't even mention which bank and what time you are going there.
Your parents have some serious issues with letting you to be an adult, but you have to tell them less, and start to do your stuff by yourself. Otherwise you would look like some impaired school kid, who needs mommy's and daddy's help. No one will take you seriously. You need to learn how to run your own life! Mistakes might happen, but that's a good thing - you are gaining life experiences.
You can always get some advice here, at least no one will want to go with you, and hold your hand
Open the account with 100 and forget about it as long as there are no monthly charges. It sounds like she does not know what she does not know.
You could go with her (or your dad if she declines) and tell the bank person the account is for you but you understand you need another person on the account so your mother/dad agreed to be on the account. The banker should say you are wrong and it can be in just your name and you can be surprised and OK.
It's hard to live with a controlling parent. When I moved out on my own, I struggled to make ends meet for several years. It did get better when my salary was higher.
One thing I had to do was stop telling my mom everything I did because she would criticize everything I would say or pick it apart.
I think when you grow up with a controlling parent, you learn to doubt your own abilities because that person makes you feel that your decisions are wrong or you don't know what you are doing and need help. But, it does get better. If you make a mistake or a decision that you regret, learn from it. That's what life is all about. Nobody every popped out of their momma's womb knowing everything.
You also gain self confidence when you make your own decisions and it feels good.
Are you over 18? If yes then you can open the account with just your name on the account.
Yes, she is. This is the third thread she's opened on this same subject.
I'm glad to see she called Mom on lying to her about needed another name on the account but, until the day the OP really decides to take real control of her life and MOVE OUT ON HER OWN, this BS is going to continue.
BTW, OP, there are two main types of savings accounts, passbook and statement. Statement savings means you get the usual statement at a set interval like a checking account does (my bank does them quarterly). I don't know how many banks still do passbook savings accounts, but a passbook is like a register, where all of the transactions are recorded - interest payments, deposits and withdrawals. You don't get a statement with those, because the book itself is your statement.
Some banks charge you a periodic fee if your balance drops below a certain amount. My bank charges $3.00 a month if the balance drops below $200. I started mine with more than $200, though, so I never got charged.
When you go in to open the account, the branch manager, or CSR who is working with you will explain everything to you. You don't need to bring your father with you. Although, if he does start spouting his version of fiscal legalese, they can correct his misinformation. Maybe he'll learn something.
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...she wanted my dad going because she wanted him on the account with me and if he goes to the bank with me and he says he wants to be on the account with me, then I can't say anything because he is there.
And NO, he can't just insist on putting his name on your account "just because he is there" in the bank with you. The bank official will set him straight on that point really fast once you tell them you are of age. If he starts insisting don't be surprised if they throw him out of the branch.
~ Former bank teller here, BTW.
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Then she said if I don't want them on account and try to open one myself, then they will find a way for me not to go to bank, even if it means taking my car just so I don't go because then then I won't have a way there to do something illegal. That included work because she would drop me off and then pick me up just to see I don't go to bank after work to open up the account.
Then you tell them that, if they do that, you will have them arrested for kidnapping and/or Grand Theft Auto (if your car is in your name and not theirs).
Are you in the United States? Or another country where sexism against the female population is the cultural and legal norm?
Last edited by ContraPagan; 06-15-2017 at 12:39 PM..
Are you in the United States? Or another country where sexism against the female population is the cultural and legal norm?
How can it be sexism if it is her mom doing it? Unless her mom is a man, not sure how this all works these days... Or maybe her mom is enforcing her dad's sexists views because he isn't man enough to do it himself...
Sounds more likely that her mom is very controlling.
Good luck OP, Rg
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