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Their basic needs include cruises, vacations, car payments, lots of designer bags, clothing, dinners at steakhouses. Car payments for both of them to drive nice cars. And buying lots of gifts and things for his wife's adult kids and grandkids, including a very large, expensive wedding for her daughter. And helping paying expenses for problems due to alcohol and drug addiction of one of the adult children. I'd like to help my dad but basically, none of these other people are related to me and one of the wife's adult children won't speak to me and my spouse (for reasons that we aren't aware of and we've racked our brains trying to figure it out). I see no reason to give my dad money that would inevitably be funneled towards them, and would directly or indirectly enable them to continue living the lifestyles to which they have become accustomed.
He's asked for money, we've said we'll think about it. At this point, even though broke, he has a roof over his head, social security and medicare, and a lot of people don't even have that to fall back on. I'd be willing to give him a $20 bill here and there, but told my husband I don't feel we should give large amounts of money. My husband thinks we're being mean by not forking over big money. I feel like, no matter how much you give these people, it would never be enough anyway.
I think, for us to even consider giving my dad money, his family needs to work on better relationship with his. And his wife's daughter that won't speak to us, maybe needs to be a little more cordial and work on mending the fences with us. That is, whatever we supposedly did to offend her, she needs to speak up about it. Otherwise, I see no reason to help these people by giving my dad money.
By basic needs I am thinking of a roof over their heads, food and medical care.
By basic needs I am thinking of a roof over their heads, food and medical care.
Yes. That's what basic needs are. But their definition of basic needs is much more than that.
They are lucky in that, they have a place to live - moving in with my dad's own elderly father in his 90s. And of course, will they will both inherit that house and other assets, after his dad passes. A lot of people who are in their 70s don't have living parents who can help them, and/or won't receive any inheritance. But they will and they're lucky to have this.
Then use your money to make them to what you want. Make them grovel for it, all of them, not just your dad, and make his wife's daughter talk to you. Money can be useful that way.
Pretty sure money won't fix all that. You give once. It's not enough, they need more. You say no, they get angry and won't speak to you. They tell all the others how terrible you are.
If you want to help, maybe give things they need, but no cash.
Then use your money to make them to what you want. Make them grovel for it, all of them, not just your dad, and make his wife's daughter talk to you. Money can be useful that way.
They would also need to include us in their family holidays. We had been excluded for many years, due to my dad's wife's daughter not wanting to see us. We learned to accept it. Just like they need to accept that they are broke and the fun is over.
They would also need to include us in their family holidays. We had been excluded for many years, due to my dad's wife's daughter not wanting to see us. We learned to accept it. Just like they need to accept that they are broke and the fun is over.
You want to pay to hang out with them?
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