Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I just did that and you're probably right. If hubby likes his alcohol and playing on the computer/phone for long hours he could be spending big bucks doing online stuff that costs money, continuous flow of money.
And OP has no access to husband's checking account so is not aware of the money flow.
It's concerning to me that she doesn't have any idea about his spending. I do wish she'd come back and clarify how they deal with their household bills. And the other thing that worries me is that she's in her forties, married nine years, and has only $20k in savings. I'm crossing my fingers that she's funding a separate retirement account; otherwise, YIKES!
Good for you for wanting to know where the money goes.
Here's what I would do.
1) Pay off the 7K debt on the credit card from savings.
2) Return the 2 leased cars asap and buy 2 decent used cars. Keep them. Buying new cars and paying for full insurance is like throwing money away.
3) Negotiate a fair allowance per month for both of you. That goes in your individual accounts and all other money goes in the joint accounts. Fair may not necessarily be equal. I use this money for things like birthdays/holidays/etc. You need to discuss what you will use this money for.
4) All bills are to be paid from the joint accounts. In just a few months you will know exactly where the money is going.
5) Research things like cheaper phone, internet, cable that could meet your needs but still save you some money.
6) Pay the 7K back into your savings account.`
7) Have some real discussions about retirement and where you want to be 5 and 10 years from now. And how to get there.
8) Discuss what you are willing to give up to meet your financial goals. Are both of you willing to cook? Brown bag lunches?
9) Agree to confront the issues and solve the problems together.
2) Return the 2 leased cars asap and buy 2 decent used cars. Keep them. Buying new cars and paying for full insurance is like throwing money away.
im curious, what car do you (and wife if you are married and both have cars) have and what is your expense on them (finance payments or cash expense)? i get new cars and i think i do pretty good and not really sure it would yield much savings to buy a decent used car.
now, i have a subaru forester and my wife has a lexus gx460. clearly i could save money just by lowering her level of car (and mine but i want an suv & awd for safety). but what if we just started looking at a used equivalent. if me and my wife bought new toyota yaris's then i doubt a used equivalent is going to be much of a savings over time.
You think pets are that expensive? I have 2 dogs, we pay about $30/month for food (a combination of Petsmart resold gift cards and Petsmart online sales) and then 2 checkups a year. That's about $600-$650/yr.
I have had 19 dogs in my life and I rescue old dogs (usually Dobermans) that no one wants. My bills have run from $600 - 900 a month for YEARS on end! With 3 older dogs now, food, meds and vet bills average $500 - 600 a month. Don't forget your maintenance nexguard and heartguard. That alone is $20 a month per dog.
first if your marriage is failing, you have my sympathy.
Second, you need to sit down with hubby ( when he's sober) and habe a long talk and lay it on the line: if things don't change, D-i-v-o-r-c-e IS going to happen. Don't sugar coat it, don't be afraid of the separation.
Third: you need to keep track of EVERY EXPENSE for a period of three months, categorize it and see where your spending habits lie. This you may not get cooperation from hubby but YOU can see where YOUR spending faults lie.
Fourth, if you do this for 3 months you will notice it's the LITTLE THINGS , LITTLE expenses that add up big. It's the casual coffee on the way to work, the extra $50 "spending money" you may take out 3 times a week which just end up being blown money. It's the afternoon pickmeup that you get, the eating out or order in lunch at work etc. THAT'S where you find missing chunks of money. Ask for a receipt for everything you buy.
Make a budget. Armed with that info, you should be able to make a budget.
As othershave said you can reduce auto python by buying a used model. You really should pay off that $7 k in c.c . debt, that would leave $13k for a good used car PAID FOR free and clear. That would leave you broke, but you'll know where you can cut back at the end of 3 months and can save more.
For example, I take 2 BOTTLES of water, a sandwich and a 1oz bag of chips to work with me every day. Costs pennies compared to eating out or ordering in.
If your husband doesn't cooperate, then YOU can set up a separate savings account for just you, and save. Then when divorce happens you'll be ready.
One final note: people tend to spend what they bring in
It's a habit. I'd be saving about $60k of that income, but that's just me. And we save AT MINIMUM 10% of our income regardless of how "broke" we may be otherwise.
Get into that habit at Minimum, and you'll have savings grow before you know it. Get hubby onboard and you'll really have some savings.
Personal Capital is my preference, to track investments and everything else, to the last dime were I so inclined. They don't do budgets, nor do I need one, but OP does.
I think that would iron it out for OP in about three months of typical expenses. Cost = 0.
im curious, what car do you (and wife if you are married and both have cars) have and what is your expense on them (finance payments or cash expense)? i get new cars and i think i do pretty good and not really sure it would yield much savings to buy a decent used car.
now, i have a subaru forester and my wife has a lexus gx460. clearly i could save money just by lowering her level of car (and mine but i want an suv & awd for safety). but what if we just started looking at a used equivalent. if me and my wife bought new toyota yaris's then i doubt a used equivalent is going to be much of a savings over time.
Captain....You can get a good used car with average to below average mileage for about HALF it's new price, and it's only 3 or 4 years old.
We decided to buy my OH a brand new car. We paid $20,800 for it. 3 years later, we can buy it for around 10k.
My OH has NEVER had a brand new car, and does ferry special needs clients around for one part time job, so we decided to get a new car.
Also, the length of time you keep a car had value in a decision. I'm driving a 2006, its 11, years old now, and don't plan to replace it for another 4 or 5 years at minimum
I paid $11k for it( minivans aren't cheap- it was $19,500 new), and if you spread that over the 15 or 16 years in going to keep it, it's what, $76/ month. Even with the recent repairs ( new axle, ignition switch, new oil pan, etc...just did it, and I'm firmly in salted roads deep potholes rust belt) it's about $100/ month for the vehicle. I CANNOT get a new car lease or purchase for only $100 / month!!!! ( of course that doesnt include maintenance items, a cost unless you lease you will have on any car)
So to me it's worth it to buy used and keep it for many years.
You might feel different, but you're asking, so I think you are reevaluating your purchases.
Bybtge time a vehicle is 3 or 4 years old, there are also many reports available on them and you can evaluate Which vehicle to buy.
I've done nothing until just 3 months ago except routine maintenance and a couple recalls, covered by the manufacturer. The axle I broke hitting a huge pot hole, the oil pan was rusting through, the ignition switch was just worm out, the rear spring cracked probably due to a pothole again, and was a surprise and have to buy a pair to replace one. The valve cover gasket was a surprise. That's all the odd repair costs I've had besides fluids, tires and brakes.
Subarus are noted for needing head gasket replacement at 100k mules. Just to alert you. Also timing belts.
Try a used vehicle for your next one and see what you think. It can't hurt.
I make 45K and my husband 65K. We have no kids, just 2 dogs.
Our mortgage with taxes escrowed in is $1550 a month. We have 2 car payments and then all the regular bills (cable and internet, cell phones, electricity, groceries etc....). Only debt is 7K on a credit card.
We have about 20K saved but we always seem to be dipping into it. We don't spend a lot or go on lavish vacations. The only thing we might spend to much on is restaurants. I tried a monthly expense report and we should have plenty left over. My husband and I have separate checking accts and I don't know his log in so it's possible he is spending something I don't know about. I am not sure what else since we make over 6 figures combined.
I figured it out in your first three sentences.
High mortgage.
Two car payments.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
