Quote:
Originally Posted by wazee712
115 Months 4 Weeks 13hours 47minutes and 14seconds
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Wazee:
This counting down, anger, and bitterness is doing nothing to your STBX, but it is certainly tearing you up inside. Try to let it go and to focus on re-building your life.
I am a woman (I mention that only because some people think the system is rigged in favor of women). At the time I divorced my ex for his infidelity,we had also been married twenty-two years. We had two children. I made more than he, so I paid both spousal support and child support. He got the house, furniture, and all but $10,000. That money was for me to rent and furnish an apartment with a little left over for an emergency fund.
My ex immediately married his girlfriend and she and her numerous children moved into the house with him, so most of what I paid went more to supporting them than it was used for our children. So I also ended up not only teaching them to drive, but helping them to get their first vehicles. I helped them with trade school and college. As a parent, I saw that my children had what they needed, whether or not it was “fair.” It seems that you also do this, for which I commend you.
The funny thing about the whole business was that my parents, his parents, and he himself had all tried to pressure me into becoming a stay-at-home spouse. I resisted that and continued to work and further my education. I am glad I did. I remain convinced that it is better to be the person capable of earning more, even if it means having to pay for a few years, than it is to be the person who doesn't have the ability to earn much.
For the next couple years, I worked extra—a lot extra. I channeled my energy into re-building my financial situation. Was it “fair” I had to do this? No. But that was the reality of the situation. It wasn’t “fair” in my opinion that my father helped the boys with college but not the girls, either, but it was his money and that was just the way it was. It made things more difficult but didn’t stop me.
The whole point here is that I re-built. I have been comfortably retired more than four years now. He is nearly seventy years old and still working because he can’t afford to retire. I hope you will be able to channel your anger into improving your financial picture as well. It seems you have the capability.
Best wishes.
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19 Months Later
Too many people get away with unethical behavior in our society without repercussion. It's up to the individuals in question to be their own moral authority, in my opinion.