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Depending on how SIL was listed on the accounts, 100% of the money could be legally her money now. That is a good reason why all of the adult children (expected inheritors) need to be aware of exactly what is going on in their elderly parents finances.
Amen to that. When my own grandmother turned over her banking to the kids, my dad wrote the checks and my uncle signed them. I don't know how the account was actually set up, but when she passed, it was split among all her children equally.
The OP legally deserves half. From what we have been told about the value of the house and the savings account the OP has $100,000 coming to her family.
She should just say no thanks you keep it all? That’s insanity
No, the OP's husband deserves half. This isn't the OP's mother.
I think my own brother said it best last week when he said my SIL was a moron and a crook and spent all the money, time to move on. Yep.
What we know for sure is that out of the parents' checking account that started with $25,000, that there is only about $7,000 left. If she would've followed my husband's wishes to buy a cheap $500 carpet for one room and list the house right then, that account would still have close to $24,000.
We know that she did the opposite of everything they discussed, she overpaid for items that she shouldn't have bought in the first place. She disrespected his wishes, offers to help and good sense and has not been open and honest with him. And this is all legal, so now it's really a relationship issue.
And that relationship is over, he is done and wants nothing to do with her, he suspects strongly that she and his niece spent the money over the years. We can't prove it, it doesn't matter now. I have only written off one other person in my life and my SIL is the second. I'm so angry at how she treated him and stole from him and didn't include him in any of her decisions. The house is supposed to close this week, she lied to him about it being a cash sale, he never saw the offer or contract, we probably won't even see the sales price until it's public record. Supposedly she is going to wire his proceeds to our bank, I'll believe it when I see it.
I told her weeks ago that I would take care of filing the taxes instead of paying someone to do it. If she actually lets me do it, I would probably be able to get more info out of her. I'm not holding my breath, she'll probably hire someone and pay them the last $7,000 in the account.
The good thing is that I've been sharing this experience with my brother, sister and mom and we have already committed to sharing all responsibilities and info when the time comes that mom moves or passes away. We are committed to working as a team with full transparency, making sure one person doesn't have full control.
A couple things to consider is that if the sister in law is trustee over a trust or executrix over an estate she is not obligated to take advice from, follow the direction of or do what your husband wants. Also if she was an owner on the checking account as in it was 2-3 parties listed as jtwros(I think that was mentioned earlier as a possibility) then that money was her.
She can still be a total moron and mishandling this
Last edited by Lowexpectations; 09-11-2018 at 07:59 AM..
A couple things to consider is that if the sister in law is trustee over a trust or executrix over an estate she is not obligated to take advice from, follow the direction of or do what your husband wants. Also if she was an owner on the checking account as in it was 2-3 parties listed as jtwros(I think that was mentioned earlier as a possibility) then that money was her.
She can still be a total moron and mishandling this
Truth. My husband has no power.
So the house closed yesterday and she never called, so strange, why wouldn't she call her brother on the biggest money transaction they've ever had together. He just called her and supposedly half the proceeds will be wired to us tomorrow. Almost over.
I think my own brother said it best last week when he said my SIL was a moron and a crook and spent all the money, time to move on. Yep.
What we know for sure is that out of the parents' checking account that started with $25,000, that there is only about $7,000 left. If she would've followed my husband's wishes to buy a cheap $500 carpet for one room and list the house right then, that account would still have close to $24,000.
We know that she did the opposite of everything they discussed, she overpaid for items that she shouldn't have bought in the first place. She disrespected his wishes, offers to help and good sense and has not been open and honest with him. And this is all legal, so now it's really a relationship issue.
And that relationship is over, he is done and wants nothing to do with her, he suspects strongly that she and his niece spent the money over the years. We can't prove it, it doesn't matter now. I have only written off one other person in my life and my SIL is the second. I'm so angry at how she treated him and stole from him and didn't include him in any of her decisions. The house is supposed to close this week, she lied to him about it being a cash sale, he never saw the offer or contract, we probably won't even see the sales price until it's public record. Supposedly she is going to wire his proceeds to our bank, I'll believe it when I see it.
I told her weeks ago that I would take care of filing the taxes instead of paying someone to do it. If she actually lets me do it, I would probably be able to get more info out of her. I'm not holding my breath, she'll probably hire someone and pay them the last $7,000 in the account.
The good thing is that I've been sharing this experience with my brother, sister and mom and we have already committed to sharing all responsibilities and info when the time comes that mom moves or passes away. We are committed to working as a team with full transparency, making sure one person doesn't have full control.
Thank you for the update. I am so sorry that this worked out the way that it did.
At least your family, and maybe others reading this thread, will learn from the mistakes (of not having more accountability in the years before his mother's death and after her death). It is sad that his mother trusted his sister and niece to be fair and honest and it is likely that was not the case. If there were more "checks and balances" such as having the granddaughter write the grandmother's checks and have another person, such as her uncle, review them every month (or even once a year).
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