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I don't really give true gifts anymore, nor do I get them. My father will usually send me a check, but the last few years I have asked him to add whatever he was going to send me, to my brother's check as he needs the money much more than I do.
Last year my father went to my sister's in Santa Fe. She had a full house with her (adult) children and my father, so I sent a big gift basket from Zabars that contained bagels and salmon and salamis and pastrami and coffee and chocolate and breads and lots of other stuff. It went over very well, they had Christmas breakfast with it, with plenty of stuff left over for sandwiches and snacks for everyone to pick at throughout the week. I think I'll probably do that again, since it was useful, appreciated and not something that is adding more needless junk to someone's space.
I don't really give true gifts anymore, nor do I get them. My father will usually send me a check, but the last few years I have asked him to add whatever he was going to send me, to my brother's check as he needs the money much more than I do.
Last year my father went to my sister's in Santa Fe. She had a full house with her (adult) children and my father, so I sent a big gift basket from Zabars that contained bagels and salmon and salamis and pastrami and coffee and chocolate and breads and lots of other stuff. It went over very well, they had Christmas breakfast with it, with plenty of stuff left over for sandwiches and snacks for everyone to pick at throughout the week. I think I'll probably do that again, since it was useful, appreciated and not something that is adding more needless junk to someone's space.
^Great idea. One of the few friends with whom I exchange has everything she needs, but she lives in the DC area and can't get really good bagels. I sent her a gift basket with bagels, cream cheese and lox plus black-and-white cookies from a real bagel place in NYC. She loved it.
My family stopped the gift-giving a couple of decades ago. It used to be fun to shop at one time for everyone's gifts when we were younger, but as we got older we changed it to the adults doing a $25 gift thing where we picked names and then everyone bought for the kids in the family.
Eventually some family members were having a difficult time financially, and the $25 was too much for them, so we got it down to doing funny $10 gifts and playing that game where everyone takes a number and can trade off their gift, etc. The family gathering, which is always in January, is now more centered around food, but some of my family members now have health problems and can't attend. I think once my mother is gone, the family party will dissipate altogether, but she just turned 90 last week and is running around telling everyone she wants them to come to her 100th birthday party, so we'll see.
I still buy something for my mother and for my daughter, but my daughter is a perpetual student so I get her some small things and give her a check.
I don't really give true gifts anymore, nor do I get them. My father will usually send me a check, but the last few years I have asked him to add whatever he was going to send me, to my brother's check as he needs the money much more than I do.
Last year my father went to my sister's in Santa Fe. She had a full house with her (adult) children and my father, so I sent a big gift basket from Zabars that contained bagels and salmon and salamis and pastrami and coffee and chocolate and breads and lots of other stuff. It went over very well, they had Christmas breakfast with it, with plenty of stuff left over for sandwiches and snacks for everyone to pick at throughout the week. I think I'll probably do that again, since it was useful, appreciated and not something that is adding more needless junk to someone's space.
I love food gifts. They're tasty and I don't have to dust them.
I have several friends who would get upset if I didn't buy gifts for their kids, and with one of these people, the mom actually stopped talking to her BFF when her BFF stopped giving her son gifts at Christmas. Even though the mom can well afford to buy her son whatever they want, on their own. So we fork over every year, but I've actually had to cut way back on what I give my own children (they get very little) so I can afford to buy gifts for these other people. It feels like extortion and emotional blackmail every year.
I had an ex-boyfriend (we were still on civil terms) who insisted I buy gifts for his two little girls. I cut the cord completely over that. And then he denied he had ever asked me to buy them presents. Some people are loco.
I put up a tree--really my son did--three years ago and I loved it! There were four little wrapped gifts under it. I think you should do it.
Oh, the drama. I think my husband felt the same way. If we weren't eating his mom's ham or his nona's ravioli, he was in some sort of emotional pain.
Do what you want to. I liked a tree, white lights around doorways, cookies, and holiday music on Christmas Eve. That's what I got because I put it together.
Atta girl.
My sister-in-law is a holiday overachiever, so in years past when we got to my MIL's place days before Christmas the tree would be fully decorated, dozens of cookies baked, all gifts wrapped, etc. Truly she left nothing for anyone else to do.
I remember someone wanted cantaloupe one day, so I took it out of the fridge. She took it away from me and got out a knife. I said, "L, honestly I've been checked out on cantaloupe. I passed the test. Let me do it." She sat down at the table but I could feel her eyes boring into the back of my skull.
Well, DH is just going to have to deal with his holiday issues. I know he doesn't like flocked trees ("My family never had them"). I'm going to get a flocked tree, because I want one.
My sister-in-law is a holiday overachiever, so in years past when we got to my MIL's place days before Christmas the tree would be fully decorated, dozens of cookies baked, all gifts wrapped, etc. Truly she left nothing for anyone else to do.
I remember someone wanted cantaloupe one day, so I took it out of the fridge. She took it away from me and got out a knife. I said, "L, honestly I've been checked out on cantaloupe. I passed the test. Let me do it." She sat down at the table but I could feel her eyes boring into the back of my skull.
Well, DH is just going to have to deal with his holiday issues. I know he doesn't like flocked trees ("My family never had them"). I'm going to get a flocked tree, because I want one.
Does she enjoy getting everything ready for the family or is she being pressured into it? I enjoyed years of a family member who eyeballed everything with raised eyebrows and had to show me at least once per visit that she was in charge. One year I lost my temper when they were in uninvited approach and threw a KitchenAid across the kitchen. SO repaired the floor after the holidays.
If you want to decorate the tree - tell her. Suggest doing it together. Have a giggle and a glass of prosecco. Offer to bake some of the cookies, run errands, pick up last minute things.
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