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View Poll Results: Two Choices; $30K wedding or invest that money instead
Spend the $30K on the nice wedding, tomorrow is not guaranted 14 25.93%
Invest the $30K in the stock market and use it 30 years from now 40 74.07%
Voters: 54. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 11-29-2018, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,293,466 times
Reputation: 25941

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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingsaucermom View Post

I think the fact that this woman already has the money in an account speaks very well of her. Many people go into debt for weddings and honeymoons. It's not the way I do things, but if she's got the money she should do with it as she pleases. It's her big day, not yours.
If she's in her 20s and has 30,000 in cash, she's doing better financially than most people her age. My guess is that she has a really good job and has invested money already.
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Old 11-29-2018, 06:50 PM
 
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
9,352 posts, read 19,947,480 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mizzourah2006 View Post
Doing anything for less than $10-$15k nowadays at any venue is pretty unheard of unless it’s really small. We rented a place for a day that only cost $750 and they let us do whatever we wanted. My father-in-law cooked all the food and bought all the booze, but when you start throwing in a tux, a wedding dress, shoes, invitations, flowers, etc. add in food and drinks for 125-150 people and $10k is extremely easy to hit even if it’s from Costco.



Apropos of nothing, really.....


my first wedding at age 24, I wore the dress my mother wore to marry my dad..... a new veil and a few alterations were all that was needed......


for my second wedding at age 38, I wore an off the rack, $100 Ivory colored cocktail dress...... wish I could still fit in it..... my shoes cost about $60.....


I have watched episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress" and am absolutely stunned by how much these women will spend for a dress they will wear ONE TIME.........
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Old 11-29-2018, 07:50 PM
 
37,442 posts, read 45,636,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
I believe when my kids get married, it will be more than $30k. I spent almost more than $20k, 30 years ago, for about 50 people, small wedding. I think for an average wedding, not luxurious, it would be at least $50k for 100.
That's insane. My sister's wedding, 27 years ago, was for 300 people, and was no where NEAR $20k. It was about 5k.
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Old 11-29-2018, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Ohio
24,624 posts, read 19,044,948 times
Reputation: 21733
Quote:
Originally Posted by mizzourah2006 View Post
Doing anything for less than $10-$15k nowadays at any venue is pretty unheard of unless it’s really small. We rented a place for a day that only cost $750 and they let us do whatever we wanted. My father-in-law cooked all the food and bought all the booze, but when you start throwing in a tux, a wedding dress, shoes, invitations, flowers, etc. add in food and drinks for 125-150 people and $10k is extremely easy to hit even if it’s from Costco.
You can get 1,000 business cards for $19.99 so how much do invitations cost?

You don't need a tuxedo. The Harrison VFW rents out to weddings all the time, and they charge less than $750.

Inviting family members you see once a year or less, and friends you're not really friends with is rather obtuse.

All you need is a small venue indoors or outdoors, close family and friends, cater some food, have a family member or friend DJ and buy some alcohol.

It's about being together and celebrating, not trying to wow and razzle-dazzle people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke View Post
A big wedding is really important to some people.
Usually people with bizarre expectations that often fail in life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
A wedding isn't "an experience"? ...or I guess just not for you.
I take it you've never been to a Serbian wedding. Probably costs $100-$200 dollars. Nobody wears tuxedos and the bridesmaids aren't in the same dress and they don't do the Chicken Dance, but they have a damn good time.

And they're always out-doors.
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Old 11-29-2018, 08:22 PM
 
4,985 posts, read 3,918,002 times
Reputation: 10145
same ol' same ol'.....

what if you "invested" in Apple stock instead of buying the 2007 iPhone?
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Old 11-30-2018, 03:35 AM
 
105,757 posts, read 107,736,740 times
Reputation: 79380
there will always be these silly comparisons by those who don't see the point or value in purchasing something or doing something .

there are basically 3 reasons we want more money mentally once our basic needs are met .

the first group are those who to them money represents , security ,financial independence and accomplishment . THIS GROUP LOVES LOOKING AT THEIR NET WORTH SHEET . they like earning more money and looking at it more than spending it . they like looking at money more then the things money can buy .


the 2nd group likes earning more money for the things money can buy . they enjoy all the things money can do or buy . they enjoy spending money more than looking at a balance sheet .


the 3rd group is like the owner of the company i worked for . he likes earning money and growing the business and is basically in it for the art of the deal . he grew a 2 million dollar business in to what is now 113 million dollar a year business . he has his savings , he has everything he wants that money can buy , yet he is still motivated by growing that business more and more and that is his passion .


the 3 groups will never understand each others reasons nor will they understand each others financial situation well enough to pass judgement .

in the case of our son , he owns a very successful auto leasing company and invested a lot that he made in the real estate venture we embarked on years ago and is a partner in our holding company . so he was in his 30's and already had more saved than 90% of the population .

while my wife and i would never do it , if he wanted a big wedding , which was really a bash for all their family and friends , and it did not increase the size of the contributions anyone was going to give them wedding or not , then you know what , go for it if that is what you want .

so why should people here judge them living the dream of throwing a big party for everyone ? which was an experience for us too . they actually had the lead singer from tower of power at that time , brent carter , who is currently lead singer with the average white band , playing the wedding . they had the party bus shuttling all the guests , and of course the affair at the sky land castle was magnificent .

so yeah they spent a lot , but at the end of the day it was an experience everyone remembers forever .

on the other hand my daughter had so many friends that the guest list was over 300 people . they could not afford a wedding for so many nor would the gift we gave come close to covering it .

so they threw a destination wedding in punta cana in the dominican republic . only the closest family and friends went so that cut the guest list by almost 2/3's without slighting anyone and not inviting them . only the closest people went so it was a good way of inviting everyone and letting them make the choice and most usually won't go . so it really let them work very well within their budget .

our other son just is not in to parties and being the center of attention . he is a partner in a large national law firm and his wife is a cpa and head of the tax dept at a huge hedge fund .

they could well afford a huge wedding but they are just not in to it .

so there you have 3 kids , all with various means and 3 ways of handling their weddings based on priorities and resources

Last edited by mathjak107; 11-30-2018 at 04:35 AM..
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Old 11-30-2018, 04:32 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
31,343 posts, read 14,085,427 times
Reputation: 27849
Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
there will always be these silly comparisons by those who don't see the point or value in purchasing something or doing something .

there are basically 3 reasons we want more money mentally once our basic needs are met .

the first group are those who to them money represents , security ,financial independence and accomplishment . THIS GROUP LOVES LOOKING AT THEIR NET WORTH SHEET . they like earning more money and looking at it more than spending it . they like looking at money more then the things money can buy .


the 2nd group likes earning more money for the things money can buy . they enjoy all the things money can do or buy . they enjoy spending money more than looking at a balance sheet .


the 3rd group is like the owner of the company i worked for . he likes earning money and growing the business and is basically in it for the art of the deal . he grew a 2 million dollar business in to what is now 113 million dollar a year business . he has his savings , he has everything he wants that money can buy , yet he is still motivated by growing that business more and more and that is his passion .


the 3 groups will never understand each others reasons nor will they understand each others financial situation well enough to pass judgement .

in the case of our son , he owns a very successful auto leasing company and invested a lot that he made in the real estate venture we embarked on years ago and is a partner in our holding company . so he was in his 30's and already had more saved than 90% of the population .

while my wife and i would never do it , if he wanted a big wedding , which was really a bash for all their family and friends , and it did not increase the size of the contributions anyone was going to give them wedding or not , then you know what , go for it if that is what you want .

so why should people here judge them living the dream of throwing a big party for everyone ? which was an experience for us too . they actually had the lead singer from tower of power at that time , brent carter , who is currently lead singer with the average white band , playing the wedding . they had the party bus shuttling all the guests , and of course the affair at the sky land castle was magnificent .

so yeah they spent a lot , but at the end of the day it was an experience everyone remembers forever .

RE: hiring Brent Carter to play the wedding....

Reminds me of Jeff Spicoli at the end of Fast Times At Ridgemont High. "Saves Brooke Shields from drowning…..blows reward money hiring Van Halen to play his birthday party"...LOL
Enjoy this clip.... profanity warning!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbG2vEYHwkw

Last edited by BeerGeek40; 11-30-2018 at 04:42 AM..
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Old 11-30-2018, 04:39 AM
 
105,757 posts, read 107,736,740 times
Reputation: 79380
as a drummer , for me it was a fabulous experience , the music was amazing for a wedding .

the funny thing is i mentioned here i was going to do some playing with a famous group on their 50th anniversary tour coming up . i had so many guess tower of power who just hit 50 years or more . but nope not them lol . i could never replace david garabaldi who is a drumming legend .

Last edited by mathjak107; 11-30-2018 at 04:59 AM..
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Old 11-30-2018, 06:53 AM
 
5,901 posts, read 4,387,241 times
Reputation: 13416
Some of you need a reality check about living life. I spent more than half a decade getting degrees and financial licenses. I spend 50 hours a week doing finance at the highest level. I would never reduce my life events and fun activities down to a money calculation.

$30,000 is chump change in the long run of life. That type of money gets pissed away in property taxes or some random insurance I don’t use (and hopefully won’t have to). That’s a federal tax bill going who knows where. I enjoyed my wedding. Granted, not as much as my wife probably did. Or my mother. Or my grand parents. These are life defining moments. Would I have taken this day away to pad my stock portfolio for 50 years down the line? Lol...

It was one of the best days of my life. The honey moon was the best trip of my life.

Do I envision myself getting divorced? No. I choose my wife for a reason. We have similar backgrounds, ambitions, interests, goals. Our marriage gets stronger over time. I don’t envision getting divorced even an option above trying to work things out. A marriage is supposed to be a life partner.


I don’t do a present value calculation to know how much my vacations cost. Or my wedding. When I die, I will think of the places I went. I don’t sit around and think that $70 dinner and movie with my wife was really $1,300 from my retirement.
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Old 11-30-2018, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
31,343 posts, read 14,085,427 times
Reputation: 27849
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thatsright19 View Post
Some of you need a reality check about living life. I spent more than half a decade getting degrees and financial licenses. I spend 50 hours a week doing finance at the highest level. I would never reduce my life events and fun activities down to a money calculation.

$30,000 is chump change in the long run of life. That type of money gets pissed away in property taxes or some random insurance I don’t use (and hopefully won’t have to). That’s a federal tax bill going who knows where. I enjoyed my wedding. Granted, not as much as my wife probably did. Or my mother. Or my grand parents. These are life defining moments. Would I have taken this day away to pad my stock portfolio for 50 years down the line? Lol...

It was one of the best days of my life. The honey moon was the best trip of my life.

Do I envision myself getting divorced? No. I choose my wife for a reason. We have similar backgrounds, ambitions, interests, goals. Our marriage gets stronger over time. I don’t envision getting divorced even an option above trying to work things out. A marriage is supposed to be a life partner.


I don’t do a present value calculation to know how much my vacations cost. Or my wedding. When I die, I will think of the places I went. I don’t sit around and think that $70 dinner and movie with my wife was really $1,300 from my retirement.
Sorry but $30,000 isn't chump change if you're a middle class average person and just starting out. $30K
could put a kid through two years of college a reasonably priced college.


Let's say instead of doing the $30K you cut it down to $10K. You cut down your guest list, you get a DJ instead of a band, you get rid of extra nonsense, etc. You still have a nice day.


Here's the way I look at it. $20K of savings
I like to do a bit of travelling and have made a 4 day hiking trip each of the past two fall time periods. That's $1300 a pop (airline, hotel, rental car, food and miscellaneous stuff). I could make an annual hiking trip every year for the next 15 years with that money. You tell me what is the better deal?

Last edited by BeerGeek40; 11-30-2018 at 07:55 AM..
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