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time .... i was very active in years i was refining retirement ... but i am pressed for time with my drumming kicking in to high gear over the last year or 2 . ....
so i play , i post here , i play and repeat through out the day on breaks .
i have pretty much reached the level and structure we want and except for a pending real estate deal going through what we have and where we stand are as structured as we are going to be ...
i still copy the mail there but i don't contribute much anymore. i find posting here can be more helpful to others then the impact i give and get there at this stage ..but still a great forum for those wanting to learn about retirement planning. i pretty much steal the thoughts and ideas from there and bring em here .
some of the posters are way more knowledgeable then then me so i like picking their brains . the founder created fire calc .... the author of the book work less live more , is from there ... the withdrawal methods i use yearly cames from his book
Last edited by mathjak107; 04-04-2019 at 03:52 PM..
An acquaintance mentioned to me this morning that he wished his 401(k) were in better shape but he'd had some periods of extended unemployment (he's a architect specializing in sports structures- not a great field during the financial crisis) AND- oops- getting married and fathering a child at age 40. He moaned about recently having to come up with his son's fraternity dues.
Wow- I don't think I was allowed to join a sorority in college. I never asked!
Throw a divorce or two into that personal finance math and then run the numbers. I did "divide by 2 divorce math" at age 40. 20 years later, I've barely gotten back to where I was then.
That's why a prenup is valuable. A good attorney can write a prenup that won't be pierced in any court. I don't really understand the "default position" of marriage and even if I was an average earner, I'd get a prenup for the simple reason that I don't think marriage should ever mean that two incomes are combined into one and then magically half of everything earned is each person's. There's no reason for that and it would, for me, create all kinds of problems that would damage the marriage. The money I earn is my money, to spend as I please, and the money she earns is her money, to spend as she pleases. I'm always weirded out when a couple just throws it all into one giant checking account, because I don't see how that would possibly not create issues. So he buys a video game for himself, she complains that's "our money," or she buys a nice pair of shoes, he complains that's "our money."
If a couple had any good sense whatsoever, they'd have their own separate checking accounts of THEIR money, and one mutual checking account where they each put in half the money required every month to pay the regular bills, plus maybe 10% extra to cover emergency expenses. Heck, they could agree to put in an extra amount each to jointly help save for retirement, but the whole one checking account thing is absolutely laughable.
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
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Well if its for 1 person it's pretty high. I'm about 10% below the number, I guess I'm just average not above average.
If you half it for a single person I'm 90% above the mark.
Doesn't matter, I'm comfortable but its just kind of fun to see these charts.
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
10,350 posts, read 8,567,170 times
Reputation: 16693
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB
That's why a prenup is valuable. A good attorney can write a prenup that won't be pierced in any court. I don't really understand the "default position" of marriage and even if I was an average earner, I'd get a prenup for the simple reason that I don't think marriage should ever mean that two incomes are combined into one and then magically half of everything earned is each person's. There's no reason for that and it would, for me, create all kinds of problems that would damage the marriage. The money I earn is my money, to spend as I please, and the money she earns is her money, to spend as she pleases. I'm always weirded out when a couple just throws it all into one giant checking account, because I don't see how that would possibly not create issues. So he buys a video game for himself, she complains that's "our money," or she buys a nice pair of shoes, he complains that's "our money."
If a couple had any good sense whatsoever, they'd have their own separate checking accounts of THEIR money, and one mutual checking account where they each put in half the money required every month to pay the regular bills, plus maybe 10% extra to cover emergency expenses. Heck, they could agree to put in an extra amount each to jointly help save for retirement, but the whole one checking account thing is absolutely laughable.
That's why a prenup is valuable. A good attorney can write a prenup that won't be pierced in any court. I don't really understand the "default position" of marriage and even if I was an average earner, I'd get a prenup for the simple reason that I don't think marriage should ever mean that two incomes are combined into one and then magically half of everything earned is each person's. There's no reason for that and it would, for me, create all kinds of problems that would damage the marriage. The money I earn is my money, to spend as I please, and the money she earns is her money, to spend as she pleases. I'm always weirded out when a couple just throws it all into one giant checking account, because I don't see how that would possibly not create issues. So he buys a video game for himself, she complains that's "our money," or she buys a nice pair of shoes, he complains that's "our money."
If a couple had any good sense whatsoever, they'd have their own separate checking accounts of THEIR money, and one mutual checking account where they each put in half the money required every month to pay the regular bills, plus maybe 10% extra to cover emergency expenses. Heck, they could agree to put in an extra amount each to jointly help save for retirement, but the whole one checking account thing is absolutely laughable.
How it doesn't create issues is no one here complains at all about what anyone else buys. So simple.
I don't think you get the concept of how family is supposed to work.
Curious as to everyone's thoughts on this. This is a combination of average pre-tax/post-tax savings plus home equity for the "above average person" as defined by the blogger Financial Samurai. This blogger's been cited by CNBC and other credible sources in the past. He's usually aggressive with his projections/savings goals but I thought this was fairly reasonable, or not?
IIRC she's a waitress...so really she has no room to wiggle here. Either she takes his "demands" and lives a good life or says GFY and remains poor lol.
But yeah pretty messed up way of thinking about a relationship. It certainly won't end in a long happy marriage but I guess it's easier to trade her in for a newer model down the road lol.
I have never thought about our combined accounts like this...we are pretty respectful of "our" money and rarely buy anything on our own, I paid $85 for a new pair of sunglasses today but was nervous about it and talked it over lol. I feel like a team...his way of thinking is not team like, it's as a roommate, a temporary one at that.
That's why a prenup is valuable. A good attorney can write a prenup that won't be pierced in any court. I don't really understand the "default position" of marriage and even if I was an average earner, I'd get a prenup for the simple reason that I don't think marriage should ever mean that two incomes are combined into one and then magically half of everything earned is each person's. There's no reason for that and it would, for me, create all kinds of problems that would damage the marriage. The money I earn is my money, to spend as I please, and the money she earns is her money, to spend as she pleases. I'm always weirded out when a couple just throws it all into one giant checking account, because I don't see how that would possibly not create issues. So he buys a video game for himself, she complains that's "our money," or she buys a nice pair of shoes, he complains that's "our money."
If a couple had any good sense whatsoever, they'd have their own separate checking accounts of THEIR money, and one mutual checking account where they each put in half the money required every month to pay the regular bills, plus maybe 10% extra to cover emergency expenses. Heck, they could agree to put in an extra amount each to jointly help save for retirement, but the whole one checking account thing is absolutely laughable.
My ex and I mediated everything. My ex spent all of our joint money before he left. He also wracked up credit card debt (which we split). At that point there was was few assets left aside from our own retirement accounts (I got to keep all my retirement money). What little savings were left was swallowed up by the cost of the lawyers, the mediator, the miscellaneous legal fees, and moving, etc. So when it came time, we each got our own retirement accounts and we each got some debt to split.
We didn't have a prenup, but we mediated everything just like you would do with a prenup (basically that's what a prenup is, dividing the estate before a divorce). I don't see how things could have come out much better with one considering the damage was done before be told me he wanted a divorce.
Me, I am just never getting married again. That's more solid than any prenup.
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