Update on dad- filing chapter 13, on right track? Also he royally screwed me, filing chapter 7

[ocnjgirl]

Originally Posted by GeoffD

I'm kind of confused. The father is 71. How old is the OP? I'd assume 40-something? Getting hit with a $50K claim at that age bankrupts you? There's a bunch of personal finance that needs to be resolved beyond this one issue.

OP is unemployed he said.

[TechGromit]

Originally Posted by JJgalaxy

He asked me to come down to the sales room to sign paperwork to give me that ability. I did not realize that what he was actually doing was adding me to the lease...I thought it was basically like a HIPPA form.

This is why you should read everything you sign. They hate me at closings, I read and understand everything before I sign anything, and demand a copy of everything I sign. Not sure how you can blame you father for your own stupidity.

Originally Posted by JJgalaxy

My thinking was that the loan wouldn't be enforceable against me if they didn't explain it properly to my father. But I don't know if that was or was not the case.

You thinking is wrong, they could have told you your signing a document that says the paper is Green, but it says in the legal document the paper is blue. The Sales people outright lying to you what your signing does not make the document invalid. It YOUR legal responsibility to read and understand what your signing. If you do not understand, consult a lawyer before signing.

[Aredhel]

Originally Posted by TechGromit

This is why you should read everything you sign. They hate me at closings, I read and understand everything before I sign anything, and demand a copy of everything I sign. Not sure how you can blame you father for your own stupidity.

Let's give the OP a bit of a break here. A lot of young people haven't yet learned to see their own parents objectively, and can be overly trusting of them. "Dad says I need to sign here," and so they do. "Dad says I need to sign here, but he's a moron when it comes to all things financial so I'd better look this over carefully to make sure it says what he says it does, and that he's not somehow either inadvertently or deliberately screwing me over" is not most young people's default stance.

(I remember having a discussion with a young enlisted guy on this form a few years ago - his father wanted the young man to let Dad take his paycheck and invest it in real estate for him. The kid was conflicted about going along with his father's plan - but he also gave evidence that dear old Dad wasn't exactly the world's most successful real estate investor. in fact, dear old Dad was over-leveraged. I specifically pointed out to the young man that just because Dad loved him and wanted to help his son didn't mean that Dad knew what he was doing, and didn't mean that Dad's choice of investments was a wise one. Part of maturing is learning to take your parents down off their pedestals and look at them objectively.)

[aa6660]

Originally Posted by GeoffD

I'm kind of confused. The father is 71. How old is the OP? I'd assume 40-something? Getting hit with a $50K claim at that age bankrupts you? There's a bunch of personal finance that needs to be resolved beyond this one issue.

Location also would affect how much 50K would hit you. Where I live, $30K is a good salary and takes years to get to. We're low pay and fairly low cost of living.

[JJgalaxy]

Originally Posted by Aredhel

Let's give the OP a bit of a break here. A lot of young people haven't yet learned to see their own parents objectively, and can be overly trusting of them. "Dad says I need to sign here," and so they do. "Dad says I need to sign here, but he's a moron when it comes to all things financial so I'd better look this over carefully to make sure it says what he says it does, and that he's not somehow either inadvertently or deliberately screwing me over" is not most young people's default stance.

Pretty much exactly this. Growing up I was always told our financial issues were my mother's fault. We had to move because she wanted to quit her job to stay home with the six children. He had to file bankruptcy in my youth because of her medical bills and excessive spending. Etc. So I was told and believed that mom was really bad with money and my father was the responsible one.

Now I'm very well aware that BOTH of them were equally bad at managing their finances and the two combined was as unmitigated disaster. Trust me, I don't take my dad's word on anything financial anymore. I have thoroughly learned my lesson.

Even with the bankruptcy process we keep butting heads because he insists he knows how things work. He kept telling me that any credit cards he currently has that that are empty he gets to keep and can still use after the filing. He got very upset and snapped at me when I said I wasn't sure if that was true, because I was questioning something he KNEW. This morning the lawyer confirmed that it is indeed not true, and of course dad will never acknowledge he was wrong. It's not just that he's unclear about things or wasteful. The biggest barrier is that he thinks he knows everything and thinks double checking is a hit to his pride.

This all also making me see things differently in terms of his estate planning too. Every time I try to talk to him about it I get snapped at that I'm acting like he's going to drop dead and it's insulting. And I'm trying to emphasize, but dude...you COULD. Anyone could get in an accident and die tomorrow! I have a better plan in place for what will happen to my cats if I die then he does for what will happen to the child who gave up their career to care for his wife. Not going to lie...it hurts. I always thought he just didn't understand what needs to be done or was overwhelmed or forgetful. I'm realizing that he just flat doesn't care.