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I feel no obligation whatsoever to help out any family member.
I feel the same but I have asked my parents for money and i've paid them back every time. If I wasn't married, I would have rather been homeless, then borrow money from my parents. I really don't mind living in a tent or car. $1600 a month income with no rent payment is fine with me.
I think it depends the relationship the children have with their parents. Yeah $100, buy them a tv or something but not pay my mortgage or get me a new car.
There is a such thing as enabling, and the definition of it does not change simply because you are related. I think you have to ask the question of whether you are REALLY helping the family member (regardless of whether they are a parent or child). The answer to that question could result in some tough decisions. In lots of cases you may not be in a place to answer that question objectively, and that's where you need to seek wise counsel - including the counsel of your spouse if you have one.
Japanese-style mortgages, which can last 100 years, handed down from parents to children . US will get something like that eventually. You can mortgage your children and grandchildren to bankers before they are born. Think about that. It's only fair for the grateful children to take care of you and mortgage BTW, it's America, the land of superficiality, nobody owes anything to anybody including their parents and vice verse, just like the flies owe nothing to each other.
Last edited by RememberMee; 06-03-2010 at 11:39 PM..
I normally agree with Suze Orman's philosophy but something she said on her last show somewhat bothered me. She told a caller (who was asking how she should break the news to her grown married children that she had recently filed bankruptcy, since her kids have always assumed she "had money") that she should not only tell her kids right out (agreed) but asked "How come your kids aren't helping you? Children who are doing well SHOULD help out their parents, and parents SHOULD help out their children."
Leaving aside the ambiguous question of what "doing well" actually means (whose yardstick are we using??), do you agree with Suze Orman that there is a familial obligation either way? One way? No obligation at all?
It seems to me that there are SO many factors other than what each party's net worth or income is, that have to be considered in a situation like that. For instance, what was the cause of the financially stressed party's situation? Was it unavoidable or a result of self-destructive behavior?
Blanket generalizations like that just don't sit well with me. What do others here think? Is any financial obligation created by the parent/child relationship?
In her last show, she told a woman to stop helping her parents financially.
I think it really depends on circumstances. I wouldn't go to my father for help financially unless I were really, really desperate and had done everything in my power to help myself. I would expect reciprocal treatment.
I have a problem with people who spend beyond their means, don't want to make any changes, and THEN ask for financial help from other people who are living within their means. I find that most people who ask for financial help are like this.
I normally agree with Suze Orman's philosophy but something she said on her last show somewhat bothered me. She told a caller (who was asking how she should break the news to her grown married children that she had recently filed bankruptcy, since her kids have always assumed she "had money") that she should not only tell her kids right out (agreed) but asked "How come your kids aren't helping you? Children who are doing well SHOULD help out their parents, and parents SHOULD help out their children."
Leaving aside the ambiguous question of what "doing well" actually means (whose yardstick are we using??), do you agree with Suze Orman that there is a familial obligation either way? One way? No obligation at all?
It seems to me that there are SO many factors other than what each party's net worth or income is, that have to be considered in a situation like that. For instance, what was the cause of the financially stressed party's situation? Was it unavoidable or a result of self-destructive behavior?
Blanket generalizations like that just don't sit well with me. What do others here think? Is any financial obligation created by the parent/child relationship?
That all depends
We send our mom money when she needs it..After all she is our mother.
When my daughter finished college I made her start paying rent, she was going on 20. You have to teach financial responsabilities. I wont give out money or loan money if I know the individual is irresponsible. We are family and we help each other out when we can.
I agree with many of the opposing viewpoints. The fact is every situation is different and thus must be treated differently. I regularly send money to my parents and in-laws to supplement their income, they never ask for money, however it's something little I do to express my gratitude for raising me and my wife while slaving away working multiple jobs. Again, that's my situation only and shouldn't apply to others.
In her last show, she told a woman to stop helping her parents financially.
I think it really depends on circumstances. I wouldn't go to my father for help financially unless I were really, really desperate and had done everything in my power to help myself. I would expect reciprocal treatment.
I have a problem with people who spend beyond their means, don't want to make any changes, and THEN ask for financial help from other people who are living within their means. I find that most people who ask for financial help are like this.
She told her that because the parents were financially irresponsible and were guilting her into giving them money she didn't have to give.
I help out my parents financially every once in a while. I actually gave them some money this weekend while I visited. My parents have always been good to me and have always attempted to give me anything I wanted when I was younger.
My dad is 70 years old and my mom is 66. Dad has no college education and my mom had only taken a few courses in college. Mom had to quit work because of Lupus and my Dad's job moved out of town years ago. They have struggled financially for years now.
Sometimes it makes me so angry. I would do just about anything to get enough money to give them so they could live comfortably their last years.
I don't think you're obligated. But if you had good parents and you can't help them when you're capable then you're a sorry individual.
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. US will get something like that eventually. You can mortgage your children and grandchildren to bankers before they are born. Think about that. It's only fair for the grateful children to take care of you and mortgage 
