Should I help my sister financially? (credit, apartments, live, default)
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I don't agree with having her sign the title of the harley. She'll just give you guilt trips and be driving it around anyway.
Don't give her a penny more. She won't learn a lesson. And you'll be just enabling this. She knows she can continue to do this and you will bail her out. Let her foreclose and rent a place.
Why do people think renting is such a bad thing? You don't have to worry about repairs or maintenance!!
You work 7 days a week, why should that money go towards a black hole? Never to be seen again? 10K can go towards a downpayment on a home or a rental property. Or towards saving for children's tuition. What a gift it would be to yourself to either invest it in yourself or your children. Both of these you will see a return on investment and satisfaction. Giving it to your sister will create bitterness. Especially in your marriage.
I've learned the hard way- DON'T LEND MONEY TO FAMILY............
nOW IF YOU HAVE IT TO give away then that is something else but don't ever lend money to family thinking you will get paid back. A big mistake as you are now realizing.
I was just on the phone with my aunt tonight. She and I were talking about the great personal change I have made in the past year, almost a year and a half. She told me "there have been times that I wanted to send you money", but I told her "I'm glad you didn't, because I needed to get out of this hole by myself" and she replied "I'm glad that you can see that, I'm so proud of you". Bailing out people is not helping people. It's like digging up a grave and handing the corpse the shovel.
is her harley paid off? if it is lend her the loot but have her sign over the harley title to you for collateral. If you give her a choice she cant get mad but if you flat out say no than she may hold that against you.
Don't do it! You're having a hard enough time deciding whether to loan her money or not (although I think you know the answer). How much more diffult time would you have making the tough decision to sell her prized possession - not to mention the time, energy and risk associated with trying to find a buyer and trying to get makrket value. This is a headache you do not need. If she REALLY needs the money, she knows what she needs to do.
p.s. One more question. Why is your sister losing her house more important to you than it is to her? That's the $10 mil question. Answer that one and you'll have the answer as to whether you should loan her money or not.
I'd feel bad if she lost the house due to my not helping more, but I'd also feel bad if I lost another $6000 on top of the $4000 I've loaned her, because honestly I think that unless she gets an extension on her hard money loan, she'll lose the house regardless of what I do or don't do.
Yes she will lose the house regardless of what you do. Period. End of story. Save your money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony1790
Do I have a question? How can I help my sister without losing anymore of my hard earned money and without being the bad guy in the deal!
You can't. Period. End of story. Your sister is a user and she will use you until you stop letting her. She will tell you are the bad guy. From now on whenever the money conversation comes up try to top her on how poor you are. Say things like you lost all our savings in the market and you are living paycheck to paycheck, etc...
Remember this, every time you hand money to your sister you are hurting her and you are neglecting your wife. You are not giving your sister only your money, you are also giving her your wife's money. Your first duty is to your wife and children.
If you were to "loan" your sister more money, do you think that will help her learn financial responsibility? Will that teach her to make wise decisions? Or will it teach her to just do whatever she wants and big brother will always bail her out?
Sorry, she needs to sink on this one. It's about time she grew up.
You are not the bad guy. You are the responsible one who will always have others trying to make him the "sucker" and suck all the hard earned money from him.
You and your wife need to stick together and keep your financial life in order. Sound like no one else in the family can do it. Your little sums are going to be swallowed and never seen again if you send them into the neverending pit of need.
Keep the money for the times someone might be out of food.
You already tried helping her. The defintion of insanity in practical terms is to repeat the same situation over and expect a different result. Why do you think she is going to change now? Her priorities are obviously in the wrong place and depends on other people to help her out. She is an adult and needs to fix her own mistakes.
Sadly, I am in a similiar situation with my mother. I've given her money to "borrow" several times. I just gave her $600 a few weeks ago...doubt I'll get it back but its my mom.
You would only be delaying the inevitable by "helping" her out.
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