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My fiancee and i are living paycheck to paycheck and we really shouldn't have to. here are the current bills. Please help me with a system that will work for the both of us.
combined bills. rent- 900 electric and gas- let's say about 160. cable- 100. cell- 100. water 40 total- 1300
my own bills include car payment- 360 . insurance- 200. student loans- 300.
my income- 2600 monthly.
her income- 800 monthly plus 440 child support=1240 total
now we each get paid biweekly. and its on different weeks. so its my check, then her check next week. then mines, then hers. so her checks aren't enough to pay the rent. so i pay the rent on my own. and i pay my own bills listed above. and sometimes ill pay one of the extra bills listed too. then she'll pay the other combined bills but spend the rest of her money on kids clothes(which i have no problem with) or stuff on herself. now we are planning to move and she wants a car. but we need to change things. im thinking we need to split ALL THE SHARED bills 50-50. now if we did this, i would b left with 1090 and she would be left with 590
You need to budget, use mint.com or some other free software. You wouldn't believe the small expenses that add up.
I used to think that between my wife and I the monthly expenses were 3K but after budgeting everything I realized I was falling short for 1K, so I can see how 4 people can spend everything.
About splitting the bills...
Before getting married, my wife and I split the bills proportionally of income, so I was paying 3x what she was paying because my income was that much more. Your case is different since there are 2 kids in the mix. Just be sure to add the food stamps as something she is contributing with.
If you want to be fair about it, you need to add in ALL sources of income, including her food stamps and any other benefits such as child tax credits, earned income credit, etc.
You are paying $560 on A CAR, out of $2600 income, that's 22%, which is CRAZY. At least I'm guessing the $200 is for insurance on the car. You need to seriously rethink your car situation.
I think the only time I had a car payment it was for about $255/month and we were making a combined $70K per year. And I felt bad about paying that much and got rid of the payment in about a year and a half.
You need to do a complete check on all spending.Keep all reciepts for everything purchased. Your'll see where you are spending muchh more than listed . It will also show where you can save money.
I'm not the most money savvy on board here, but I will tell you, my ex made a lot more than me, and I'm fine with paying my share, but love is not wanting your partner to pay 50/50 in household expenses if that set up leaves them broke & miserable, while you eat caviar in front of them, right? Been there, done that & we're no longer together.
You make twice what she does, so you should pay 2/3 so that each has a decent amount left over, to save/spend as you wish. Suze Orman's book was helpful in this regard; the partner with less money is bound to feel a bit less powerful, and will resent the partner making more and the set up is 50-50, and she can't afford anything else, except when she does need something, she'll need to ask you for an allowance...I hope you don't want her in a subservient position such as this, do you? Doubt she would stay in that situation, so hear me out:
It speaks volumes when you are capable, but unwilling, to pay a larger share when you make the bigger salary. My ex started with this premise, but it was clear that he did not enjoy seeing how I spent my money, and slowly asked for a larger and larger share - so we broke up. If I'm going to hand over an entire check, I'll live by myself & pay a landlord, since it was clear my ex did not care about my financial well-being, at all. He made 10 times what I did, and has a bunch saved, so he did not need it. Big jerk. He wanted me to have to ask him for money, so he could approve or not approve what I spent any discretionary income on. Total jerk.
So, if you love your partner, don't let money be a divisive issue. You make twice as much, so you pay 2/3 she pays 1/3. More or less; the fussier either of you get on the issue, the faster you'll break up & each be paying your own bills...be careful. She can just as easily find two roommates and cut her expenses, as well.
One more thing - it appears after re-reading that you have debt, and she does not? Is this why you want her to pay more? Not fair. You incurred those debts, not her. Just pointing out that if she chooses to help you out of debt, that is great, but she is not obligated to do so. It would be wiser for you and/or her to get a 2nd source of income, get bills down to the bone, and pay debts down. Don't expect each other to bail one another out of previous debt - you ain't married yet
here's what im thinking. i pay rent, and my bills listed above(car, car insurance, student loans). she pays cable, cell, peco(electric and gas), water bill.
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